I've been thinking about my social anxiety and realized I never actively did anything to get over it. Sure, I've made progress. But mostly, that's because events in my life conspired to force me into socializing: I had to go to college, I had to get a job, ..exct. I didn't make these choices to get over my anxiety, I did them because I felt I had to for other reasons. Of all the shortlived friendships I've had, I never intiated one of them. Of all the girls I "dated"(if you can call it that), I only made the first move once (of course, that was only after she made it 100% obvious that she was interested). I make a lot of excuses for why I don't try. Really, my only "strategy" is to hope people will suddenly take interest in me and include me in whatever it is they are doing.
No, I'm not beating myself up for not trying hard enough. I just think it's an interesting observation, and I can't help but wonder: would I still have anxiety if I made a point of practicing certain social exposures? So recently, I made a list of some exposures that I plan on practicing daily. Here it is.
1. Say hello to 5 strangers at work.
2. Say something at a meeting at work.
3. Talk to a classmate.
4. Say something to a girl that I find attractive.
5. Go to the gym.
I could try going to night clubs or speaking in front of an audience of 1,000 people as exposure exercises, but I don't think that I would feel comfortable enough to even try and I doubt I would have any success if I did, so I feel I'd only be setting myself up for failure. I chose these things because they are challenging to me, but I also felt confident that I could do them. To make sure that I'm actually trying, I am going to keep a log of every time I carry out one of these exposures. Overtime, and as my confidence increases, I am going to escalate these goals. For example, I might say hello to 10 strangers at work, and then 5 strangers when I'm not at work, and so on. Ultimately, I want to feel confident speaking in front of large groups and confident enough to ask out any girl that I am attracted to.
Does anyone else have a plan for overcoming their anxiety? If so, what does it entail?
No, I'm not beating myself up for not trying hard enough. I just think it's an interesting observation, and I can't help but wonder: would I still have anxiety if I made a point of practicing certain social exposures? So recently, I made a list of some exposures that I plan on practicing daily. Here it is.
1. Say hello to 5 strangers at work.
2. Say something at a meeting at work.
3. Talk to a classmate.
4. Say something to a girl that I find attractive.
5. Go to the gym.
I could try going to night clubs or speaking in front of an audience of 1,000 people as exposure exercises, but I don't think that I would feel comfortable enough to even try and I doubt I would have any success if I did, so I feel I'd only be setting myself up for failure. I chose these things because they are challenging to me, but I also felt confident that I could do them. To make sure that I'm actually trying, I am going to keep a log of every time I carry out one of these exposures. Overtime, and as my confidence increases, I am going to escalate these goals. For example, I might say hello to 10 strangers at work, and then 5 strangers when I'm not at work, and so on. Ultimately, I want to feel confident speaking in front of large groups and confident enough to ask out any girl that I am attracted to.
Does anyone else have a plan for overcoming their anxiety? If so, what does it entail?