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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello, I've not been around for a while. Something has led me to wonder - how do you notice you have SA?

I meant not in the form of clinical diagnosis which are not available to persons like myself, but what did you notice in yourself that caused you to seek help?

From the list of hypothesis I've conjured, I can think up social trauma, personal values fatally conflicting with society, bad experiences, isolation, stuff like that that could make anyone react negatively to human contact.

SA can be psychological (in terms of perspective causing SA traits), or also be a result of chemical imbalance. Should a socially active person enter a very traumatic social experience or just get sick of interacting with people and getting nowhere, might there be a psychochemical reaction that creates the imbalances associated with SA, much like a state of depression?

I realise of course that I'm participating in a SA community with no clinical diagnosis, but in recognition of real life and personal examples I believe there to be cause of concern for my "anxiety" over human contact that will shape my future prospects from then on.

I also decide to air my views in the clear because I have just gotten sick of very unreasonable meanness I've received from a person who goes around advertising for a local SA community.

When I introduced myself stating that I do go out to help people with SA, the reply I got was outright cold and malicious.

"If you don't have SA yourself, how can you help others?"

Remind me never to associate myself with locals.

The feeling of depression that resulted was something like spending 2 hours writing a new business plan only to be told the next moment that "you don't have "A" levels so I won't support you". That creates a sort of artificial fear of rejection that could possibly lead to clinical social anxiety! Which is why I'm voicing it out.

One of the symptoms that I observe from SA is this hatred of others' irresponsible negative judgements. I believe that SA too is not an "exclusive club" and with a bit of empathy and genuine displays of what might be termed common values of humanity, there's little communication barrier between us.

That's enough of my side of things - what's your story?
 

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unashamed perv
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Is the question "what makes you think you have SA?" or is it "What caused your SA?"?

To answer the first, I always knew that I had problems making friends and wished I was better at it. I knew I was socially inept. When I was with people I was uncomfortable and longed to be alone, yet I got lonely and wished for friends. Then I read about Avoidant personality Disorder on the internet and it clicked. Sometimes you read about SA and it sounds really similar to APD, Some people make a clearer distinction, but there are enough similarities to make it worth coming here!

As for what caused it, I think it was my parents moving a long way from my first school when I was 6 so I lost my friends, then my best friend in my new school moved away. I think I may have given up on trying to make friends then, so I didn't associate with other children and learn how to socialise.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
That is interesting to know, thank you.

When I was that age my parents were hell bent on imposing upon me on how bad society was and that I should not make friends with others who showed little integrity. Before you say they are irresponsible, with all else considered, including my school teachers teaching children to be obedient, not talk at all in class or make observations, I believe SA, based on general disgust of certain stereotypes, has made me a better person.

As for my awareness, I have never formed friendships outside of professional life and have wondered why I was allergic to human contact - this was justified by a lot of people exploiting my trust to learn my life history, even tiny bits of it and then airing it as gossip material. In time even calling my name was taboo since some people insist on making me run about doing silly errands just so I didn't have time to "socialise" with my colleagues, not that I ever did.

So I treated SA as a defense mechanism and learned to live with it, for raising the bar and keeping one's dignity is often advantageous and the people that want those defenses lowered are too selfish to emphatise on what I might receive from it.

In the end I was looking for more of a social support group on the internet so I could relate my story to others and guide others in that yes, a man can be an island in an ocean of troubles and still find his chosen path after 20 years of experiencing gross mismanagement. That's when I could incorporate SA into my vocabulary, knowing how life's events can develop SA like symptoms and living with the results.
 

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I'm not sure when I realized it was SA. Actually some days I'm not even sure I have it.

I kind of remember being somewhat outgoing in early elementary, but today I can still remember some things I did and how dumb they were. In 4th grade I remember peeing my pants (embarassing lol, never told anyone before) because I was too afraid or couldn't go to the bathroom at school. It was at the end of the day and somehow I made it home without anyone noticing, I think by putting my snowpants on haha. By 5th grade I remember being considered shy and weird reinforced by teachers and peers, I still had a few very close friends though but I remember coming up with excuses not to hang out with them a lot.

I used to think that eating a scoop of sugar every morning before school would help me talk more and get rid of the shy label. This is kind of what convinces me when I think about it. Not normal for a kid to think that way and clearly I wanted to be social.

In middle school my parents were worried and talked to me because I didn't have any friends. In high school I was still really quiet but made some close friends that I still have to this day, thank god.

It's defenitely a biological problem but like everything can be triggered by the environment. I can remember some things that happened in childhood but they either don't seem related to SA or don't seem to be that big of a deal that they would cause it. Who knows.

Taking psychology courses in college may have helped me realize what exactly it was. Sometimes I worry that I may be self diagnosing just because of hearing so much about mental disorders though (I'm a psych major).

But like was said, so many people on this forum sound EXACTLY like me. It is quite comforting.

Anywho...that was long...
 
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