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Hello there!

My name is Marjolein and I'm 17 years old. I've had social anxiety since I'm 14 years old.

It started when I was 13. I got diagnosed with anorexia and started therapies. They didn't work and no one knew why. They decided that I should go to a clinic for 10 weeks, to figure out any other problems and why the therapies didn't work. At that time, I was 14 years old.

In the clinic, they discovered that I had ADHD, social anxiety and in there, I developed a depression, because I felt like I was all alone there.

At home I got therapies, first for the depression and after that for all my other problems. Every week I had a session where I told about my thoughts and problems. In december 2010, I started to get depressed again and I went to a clinic, again, because I was really suicidal. After three weeks I went home and took medicine. I started to slowly feel better. In may 2011 I started a new therapy, and this time I had the best therapist. The therapy looked like it started to work and I started to feel better. My social anxiety wasn't that big. It was there, but I had bigger problems.

In may 2012 I ended my therapy. Since then, my social anxiety grew a lot and I am really scared. Now, I'm 17 years old and finished 4 years of therapy in total. It never worked for my social anxiety and now, I don't even know what I should do anymore.

Everyone in my class and my age, they go out, chat and flirt with boys and work. Since november, I've managed to also go to find a job. It was a huuuuuuge struggle, but I still work now and it is really going well. But I am so scared with everything. Talking to boys, I can't go out to a cafe or a disco etc. I don't even speak to a lot of boys, since I avoid every situation where I can meet them. My education is an education where mostly girls are, I don't have any boys in my class.

I notice that I walk behind everyone and that I don't develope normally. But it is really starting to show and also other people start to notice. At the same time, when I have to do something I'm afraid of, I start to have so many panic attacks (sweating, hyperventilating and the worst part: I start to vomit), that I feel like it isn't worth it and that I should quit what I tried to do. even before I start anything.

So well, that's me. I'll be around here and hopefully, I'll be able to manage some things. But I don't think so.

Greetings from holland! :D

Marjolein
 

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:wels
 

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Welcome, MarjoleinL! :)
 

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Hey Marjolein, welcome to :sas
 
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