[umieraj]

I will just name a few.. like in two

[Wanting to fit in]
Sorry to say I don't get outside my door alot, meaning my skin is vampire white. Sooo.. in the summer time I use this little mental trick to make it easier for me to get out the door; take 20 push-ups, very quickly micro peek in the mirror, see that I'm now "tanned" like the rest and leave the building. lol

lol Actually, that's a pretty clever idea. I don't see what's wrong with being so pale though. I think it's much more beautiful than tanned skin.

 

[im Lost]

hiding in the bathroom in middle school & high school cuzz i was somewhat a loner! being quiet all the time around peers. not acing myself.

 

[i wanna be invisible]

Wow! I thought I was the only one who did wierd things.When I started reading these responses i realised i'm just like everyone who suffers with social anxiety.I'm going to share what i've done over the years.In grade ten after arriving at school i went to the Arts and Culture center which was next to the school, and waited in the bathroom until it was time to go to class.I did that so i wouldn't have to talk to anybody untill the door opened.Then there was a time dinnertime when i had to stay in for dinner that i walked in a blizzard from school to a macdonald's restaurant to call my grandfather to come pick me up because school was out for the day and That was a huge lie.I lied so many times because of SA and i'm not proud of it.I kept on walking around the same streets outside of school during dinnertime until it was time to go back to the classroom.I'm sure i looked like a stalker or someone to be very suspicious about.When i had free periods at school I spent them in the bathroom.One time i stayed on my back bridge untill the school bus drove by and then i told my mom that i missed the bus.

omg this is like i wrote it, i did all the same things :um

 

[Mariee]

The weird things I do are mainly centered around me "escaping" whatever situation I'm in. I usually just excuse myself to the restroom where I try to calm myself down. I just don't want to be somewhere where people can see me freak out. While in theory this isn't bad, when you excuse yourself to the restroom over and over and over again people get confused, haha.

This was especially prevalent when my family threw me a graduation dinner and I left the table around 5 times for various reasons and eventually took some medicine in the bathroom to where I was feeling really out of it when I got home.

 

[purplefruit]

I have so many stories lol :bash

In middle school I'd go home "sick" whenever I was feeling nervous.

In high school, a girl (I didn't think she even liked me) invited me to her birthday party. I went to her house which was down the street from me. It turned out to be a real basement party! With music and dancing and stuff. There were so many popular, cool kids there. I sat in the back room for a while watching everyone dance and have fun. After a few hours, refreshments were served. I quietly slipped out and walked home after that.

And of course there was the dreaded group work, and gym classes. There were so many times where the teacher would call out "partners everybody" and there would be an uneven amount of people in the class, and of course I got left out. Sometimes I had to join and make a group of 3 (in which I felt like the 3rd wheel), but other times I'd just sit/stand there awkwardly and wait for the activity to end.

I started taking an Epidemiology class in university and I dropped it after 2 or 3 classes because I didn't find a partner for the research project. I could have asked around to see if anyone else was alone, but I didn't.

I took a coaching class and failed because the final project was to coach a sports team, and of course I wasn't doing that. I could have done the project with a partner but I wasn't doing that either.

I bought a gym membership for $50 a month back in September. I went once, a few days after I bought the membership. The trainer showed me how to use the treadmill, and a few of the weight machines. After that I did maybe 15 minutes on the bike at a really low speed, because I'm really unfit and don't like people to see how quickly I get tired because it's embarrassing. Then I wanted to try the weight machines but they were too hard to figure out. I wandered aimlessly around the machines for a while and got in the way of people trying to use them. I hightailed it outta there. Never went back again. And I JUST cancelled my membership about a week ago because I was so scared to call.

 

[Northern Lights]

My workmate who shares an office with me is resposible for the distribution of mail at our department. And when she's not on the premises I have to fill in for her - which I dread! I just can't bring myself to walk from office to office to hand in the mail. So I usually wait until rather late in the evening and when most of my colleagues have gone home I will do my round to secretly place the mail on their desks. :sus

I also avoid going to the office kitchen. There always seem to be some colleagues gathered at the coffee machine. So, no matter how thirsty I am, I wait until late in the evening before I go upstairs to fetch a bottle of water. :no

 

[Crystallize]

Yeah, I always hated group work because I didn't know anyone and so I was usually alone and wouldn't do the work. One time in my zoology class we were doing partner work on habitats of different animals and we had to make a huge poster to put up in the classroom but my partner never came to school so it was just me. I'm not very creative and I had no idea of what to do so I started to cut out letters of our habitat and glue them onto the poster and I was almost finished when the teacher announced that we were not supposed to do that. I felt so stupid and it really made me feel bad because it was the only thing I knew to do so I started crying and it was just embarrassing.

I used to wait on the side of my house until my parents left when I didn't want to go to school. Halfway through the school day I would text my boyfriend and he would come get me. I can't even tell you the last time I actually ate anything at school, it was probably in 8th grade and I'm now graduated. I just hate people knowing what I like to eat for some reason and I hate feeling like people are watching me eat.

I dont eat when my boyfriend has his friends over because I feel stupid and he will get really mad because he knows i'm really hungry but I just say I'm not.

I hate shopping because I feel like when I'm looking at something I think is cute people are looking at me wondering why I like it and that its ugly or something.

I used to pretend to text people when we got free time in class because I felt stupid just sitting there by myself when everyone else was talking and having fun.

 

[Averill]

I have to audibly tell myself to "stop," "relax," or "calm down" when I'm alone and my mind is racing with negativity and memories of embarrassment.

Yeah me too, you probably can releate to this:

http://www.enotalone.com/article/4116.html

 

[Mandyy]

Well this was only for ninth grade cause before that I was normal, but whenever we had to present our homework/projects, I'd always have them done, but I say I didn't have them and then I'd end up failing. I was too terrified to present.
I'd also ALWAYS show up to school about 5 minutes after the bell rang just to avoid conversation. That drastically brought my grades down and even led to detention. Not to mention my many absences, which didn't help at all.
Lunch was actually easy though. On odd days, I always had to go to my teachers classroom to make up work (since I was absent so much) and on even days I had a big group of friends that always saved me a seat so I just sat with them. But it was hard after a while because people noticed really fast that I wasn't eating at lunch.
School SUCKS.

 

[staringatthesky]

Right now, I would often drive back and forth from the university and home just because I have a huge gap between classes. I would often miss eating lunch and hide out in the library next to the windows and TRY to study.

In the end though, I would just daydream out in space somewhere. hahaha

 

[TrueBlue]

I mysteriously become 'sick' when I have presentations or group work in classes

If my best friend is gone, sometimes I can't get myself to do things by myself. He's always okay with ordering food for me and other things that makes me anxious. I should probably stop letting him do it for me, so I can start getting better myself. Usually I can do it if I need to, but I tend to not want to lol Usually at least.

 

[Kakaka]

I turn up late to a lot of my lessons because I hate awkwardly standing around outside. My teachers absolutely hate me for it - bunch of hypocrites, the amount of times they turn up late.

On the rare occasion when I am early, I'll walk around pointlessly rather than wait outside the class. If I'm more than a couple minutes early I'll walk to the front of my sixth form where there's a road, take out my phone, stand around and pretend that I'm waiting for my driving instructor. :roll

 

[i wanna be invisible]

Here are some things of my weird list:
-When I was in high school I had just one friend, I was hanging out with her on pauses between classes, and every time when I was with her and I bumped into some of my old ''friends'' from elementary school, I tried to avoid them, or make a distance from my friend, because she was ugly and uncool and I didn't want them to see me with her. I know this is horrible but what can I do
-in high school I wanted to skip school sometimes but I couldn't cause I'd have to ask other people what lessons have we done in school when I wasn't there
-Now I'm in college and I have no friends, so when we have pauses longer than 30 minutes I always take bus in one direction, and then i get out and go back to college
-Once a girl from my group told me something like 'see ya tomorrow' (althought we've spoken maybe 2 words during whole semester) and I didn't say anything to her because I wasn't sure if she is talking to me. That's so embarrasing
-I smoke, but I always go to hidden places so noone would see me smoking
-I have just two friends, and sometimes I really wanna go out, but I never call them, because I've never done that and they would be surprised if I called them first. So I always wait for them to call me (which is very rear now). I even lost my best friend this way.

 

[Jennifer Clayton]

WOW I do this stuff all the time. If I am approaching someone I don't want to talk to, I will walk down a different hall, try to speed by quickly, do something else, just to avoid it.

I force myself to hang out with people so people don't think I'm a complete loner freak. I feel like I am lying to them and to myself sometimes. I'll smile when I don't want to, talk when I don't want to.

At the end of the day, it does help me open up more and feel more free. But it always feels so phony and cheezy at first, lol.

 

[Jennifer Clayton]

I mysteriously become 'sick' when I have presentations or group work in classes

Hehe I have totally done this a handful of times. =] 'I just started feeling awful on that day'. I feel bad when I let people down who are in my group but I can't help it because I get so horribly nervous.

 

[i wanna be invisible]

You are a small person and you disgust me by every mean that there is. You are not worth a single breath of her. You as a forum user are dead for me, i have never heard something irritating like that in my life.
I hope I dont get banned for this, but if so, it was worth every single letter. I have my struggles with SA myself but I always stand up for my close friends no matter what. Its a matter of character to me. Period.

And actually I was hanging out with her just because I didn't have anyone else to hang out with, and I'm pretty sure she did the same. I always helped her on tests, but when I ask her to help me she would always say that she doesn't know answer, and next day she would get an A. So I dont really thing she was a CLOSE FRIEND TO ME. Thank you very much, mother Teresa. Goodbye

 

[aimi12]

i have done many weird things because of social anxiety disorder. when i was in elementary school, and teachers would ask me to deliever a message to another teacher, i wouldnt do it. i also cant get close to people because whenever i become close, i get scared and push them away. i have good friends, but i have never had a boyfriend because i get to scared and push them away. now that i think about it, i cant even talk to guys. i remember when i was little i would always cling to my parents because i was too scared to be alone. i always avoid parties. and i get scared just going to talk to a teacher when i'm in class.

 

[Jennifer Clayton]

I feel like I avoid parties too. Sounds like a fun idea in theory but it seems so scary in reality, inside my own head. I want a boyfriend desperately, but I have a hard time communicated so I just get more and more frustrated until I give up.

I hate how I want things but SA never, ever, ever fails to screw me over....

 

[plastics]

Man, after reading some of this, when you think about it, people with SA do some risky stuff! :b.

I used to only get cookies at lunch, because I was too afraid to go in the line, and get any real food. In grade school, I only ate jelly bread sandwiches, with maybe a little something else, because I don't even know why haha, I think I was afraid to get lunch then too. I used to get made fun off, and teachers used to be concerned.

I have such bad anxiety, that I was/and still am afraid to run away from socially anxious situations, and it actually doesn't help me :roll.

I don't think I raised my hand in school from 5th grade till college because of fear.

When the phone rings, even if I'm right next to it, I will not pick it up. Everyone yells at me.

If someone knocks at the door, I sneak around to see who it is, and I most likely won't answer it. My boyfriend thinks I'm nuts.

In my dorm, I would try not to use the bathroom if the girl who shared my room was there.

I avoided all my roommates.

I have lied to avoid parties or hanging out with friends.

When I liked people, I couldn't talk to them myself, I was one of those people that had to get a friend to do it. I must of looked like a loser.

I used to pretend to text people, or use my phone before classes, to make it look like I had a life.

I avoid ordering food over the phone.

I would lie to teachers, and say I wasn't done my assignment yet, so I didn't have to answer. Usually didn't work.

One of the things I hated the most was group assignments, and I would try to let the other person do it, and if they weren't that type of person, I would get really anxious, and just start making stuff up.

One time I was invited to a girl's birthday party, and when I got there, guys from class started making fun of me for the longest time, so my friend and I just left the party which was in the woods. I was in 7th or 8th grade, and we walked all the way home at night. It was pitch black, and we could not see anything. When I got home, I cried, and then my parents came home, and my mom made a big thing out of it, and I'm pretty sure I ended up ruining that girl's party. Well, really the guys did that made fun of me, if it wasn't for them, it wouldn't have happened.

 

[bbarn]

i am pretty much seen as a person that tags along with my friend everywhere he goes. We are roomates, have the same program and in that program you have to take all the same classes. We have the same labs because he has to drive me to school and it would be a pain if i were to get to school through other means like the bus or cab. So basically everywhere he goes i go, we sit together in almost every lab, sit in class together, have the same breaks, etc. I feel like i'm using my friend as a shield because he's doing the work of making friends with other people and i'm just tagging along making some of these friends but not really being into it, because i'm kind of forcing the situations. Sometimes its natural and other times its awkward. I'm pretty sure the class has noticed this and it sucks too bc we are the only asians in the program in a predominate caucasion school, area, etc.