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Little Winged One
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Or perhaps I should say your primary caregiver when growing up?
 

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I guess so. She was very caring but I don't recall her giving any emotional support whatsoever. I am pretty sure she has or has had SAD, or something along those lines.
 

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Yes, she comes home grinning from ear to ear telling
me about her day and how she read to a group of small children and how wonderful it was.
I don't understand how she seems so in love with these other children when
she had me, she never read to me..or did anything that made me feel like I was special
to her.

I would give her my prized possessions and draw for hours for the second
of attention I got for giving it to her.

*plays tiny violin lol*

I'm sure she tried her best at the time, I like to think that anyway.
 

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My primary caregiver throughout most of my early childhood was my grandmother. She was overly protective. Sometimes it was good, other times though I think it stunted what social life I could have had. She wasn't cold or distant though.
 

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Little Winged One
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Girl Loner-I'm sorry,you deserved better and I can see that you can't help but compare. Have you ever thought about talking to her about it?
 

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Little Winged One
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Sorry-forgot to add something-Liarsclub-you're fortunate,would she be willing to adopt me???!!
 

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I see my mom as a very warm and loving person, but I guess I did feel a lack of attention from her at times. I used to beg her in my early teens to just turn off the tv so that we could talk about anything under the sun for hours. I really loved having conversations with her but she wasn't usually interested. I had to constantly rival with the tv for her until I gave up.
 

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No, but my mom's mom was cold and distant to her. I think as a result of this, my mom made an extra effort to be supportive and loving to me.
 

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Nope.
 

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I can't imagine what it's like to have one of those warm, caring mothers who gives entirely too much of themselves to make their children happy. Do they exist outside of tv/movies?
 

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Comfortably Numb
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(I should of made this thread)-My mother is so emotionally cold and distant,that even thou she lives litterry around the corner from me she does not talk to me or even visit me in the 10yrs I lived here she has only been to my home twice.Birthdays,holidays go by without even a phonecall.She has never given me an explanation as to why and I have asked.The only thing I can think of is she is ashamed of me.So after years of pain,I worked up the confidence and confronted her at a block party infront of the entire family,I said mom I haven't seen you in over a year you don't call or visit,she said I just don't want anything to do with you.So I have my answer,I decided to break this bad relationship and move on with my life it hurts bad but,I don't want anymore abuse.I can't wait for the phonecall one day that she is dead;not to go to the funeral but,to piss on her grave.
 

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Mostly.
I kind of expected it because she grew up in a house where affection wasn't really shown and kids were separate from the adults in pretty much every way and my grandmother grew up separated from her parents most of the time, so affection wasn't in our family at all. It sort of just passed down. That's no excuse, really, but I figure no one has wanted to change it.
I see how some mothers are with their kids and I can't even process it. My mom was happy and affectionate, to a point, when she wanted/wants to be. Like she'll asks me how I am, tell me I'm beautiful, etc, but this is often right before she asks me to do something for her. Honestly, I don't think my mom even knows how to be affectionate. I've never even heard the words 'I love you' come from her mouth ever. And hugging and kissing, that would unnerve me because I'm not used to it at all.

My mom and I hardly ever talk and when we do, it's usually asking me what's wrong with me, now, something critical, or she's asking me to do something.

What it would be like to have one of those warm, caring, affectionate, 'smothering' mothers, I'd have no idea.
 

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crazy
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I don't understand how she seems so in love with these other children when
she had me, she never read to me..or did anything that made me feel like I was special
to her.
I would give her my prized possessions and draw for hours for the second
of attention I got for giving it to her.
aww :(

No, my mom was fond of saying things like I love you so much it makes my heart hurt. Disgusting!
my mom sat with me in a rocking chair and hugged me until i was hot and couldn't breathe, kept saying i was the sweetest boy ever, how did i ever get so sweet? uggggghh. that's not good for a guy to hear growing up.

i dreamt once that she made me a birthday cake covered in white frosting. when i cut into it it was full of toothpicks and air.

Sorry-forgot to add something-Liarsclub-you're fortunate,would she be willing to adopt me???!!
i don't think fortunate is the right word there, lol.

I can't imagine what it's like to have one of those warm, caring mothers who gives entirely too much of themselves to make their children happy.
smothering

What it would be like to have one of those warm, caring, affectionate, 'smothering' mothers, I'd have no idea.
claustrophobic

i always envied the people whose mom's just didn't care what they were doing. i craved a mom like that. i wanted to be an orphan. i realize the reality of it would be different though.

and i know my mom was trying to do well - her mom had sort of rejected her, so she went a bit overboard showing me affection. but at the same time, i felt like i was almost a mother substitute for her as a kid, which is not good.
 

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Neither of my parents were very demonstrative, and neither seemed comfortable expressing strong emotions, positive or negative. They never actually said the words, "I love you," but I always felt very loved. I think they were reserved, but not cold or distant. They were good people and good parents, and I was one lucky kid. I wouldn't trade them for the world. :O)
 

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i always envied the people whose mom's just didn't care what they were doing. i craved a mom like that. i wanted to be an orphan. i realize the reality of it would be different though.

and i know my mom was trying to do well - her mom had sort of rejected her, so she went a bit overboard showing me affection. but at the same time, i felt like i was almost a mother substitute for her as a kid, which is not good.
Funny, I always wanted to be an orphan because I didn't feel loved, so I figured that would be better, or to somehow get adopted by some couple with a more caring mother.

I didn't want a mother who was insanely affectionate or smothering, just one who showed that she cared more.
 
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