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I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder back in college, I never recieved treatment for it, and it's weird that this issue makes me anxious but for some odd reason it does, and I don't understand it. I am a 25 year old virgin, I know pretty unheard of right? I am not necessarily waiting for marriage, but I want my first time to be very meaningful and I haven't been in a relationship yet where I have felt that it was the right time. My best friend who is also 25, was a virgin. She got married last weekend to her boyfriend of 6 years who was also a virgin. It was funny because we used to all joke about how we were the last 3 virgins on earth, etc, lol, and it's a pretty known fact in our group of friends. So since she got married last week, obviously, they're not virgins anymore. It's funny because I knew they would since they're married, I mean that's just plain obvious, but when she told me they had, it was weird. I feel like a kid or something, lol, because I feel like I'm behind or something. I know this sounds crazy, but it's like I feel as though I'm inferior in some way, and it's totally not like that. I don't know how to explain exactly what I'm feeling, but it's like I sort of feel a pressure to have sex, even though no one is really pressuring me, lol, it's like it's all in my head. I don't know, this probably sounds nuts, but I just had to get that off my chest because it's really weird now. My best friend and I have been inseperable for the past 11 years and we're like sisters. So like I said, no one's pressuring me at all, but I just feel "left out" in some way or something, and it's totally ridiculous. It's like I feel like I'm going to lose my best friend in some way or something, I tend to worry a lot if you haven't figured that out yet :) It's so hard to explain what I feel. I just wondered if anyone out there has felt that way or knows what I mean by this at all? lol
 

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I'm sorry about your situation, seeing as how it's clearly bothering you a lot. There's actually an entire thread/post on here about virginity (probably more than one). You seem to be in one of those mindsets where you feel like you're the only one, but don't worry, you aren't alone.
The media has practically shoved down our throats how "uncool" it is to be a virgin, so it's no surprise that you (and many others, myself included) feel insecure about it. Also, it's certainly not unheard of.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you, yeah it's a weird feeling that I'm trying to describe, I don't know, lol. I tried to look for a forum more related to my topic, but I couldn't find it.
 

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ya it seems like it bothers you, because you are getting older and those around you are losing it; you wanna wait for the right person, but how long can one wait? When do your ideals suddenly become something your willing to abandon due to environment around you or undue pressure placed on yourself? It is quite frustrating to want something; not have it; and see people around you with it.
 

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I am a 25 year old virgin, I know pretty unheard of right?
Not as much as you might think. I'm 28 and still a virgin, and one of my best friends almost 30 and she just started dating for the first time a few months ago (and as far as I know, she's still a virgin).
 

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if you can't get a man
just order some mail-order groom
from eastern europe
don't worry they're not all drunkards and stuff
There's actually a market for dudes? Really? ;)
 

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First,

I like your tagline rocky!

Second,

29 y/o male virgin here. I do have a religious belief against pre-marital sex and have come close to just hooking up out of frustration. I can relate fairly well to anybody except women I am attracted to.

I don't really have any close friends now as at my age decent guys tend to get married and have their families and careers as priorities.

So, it gets hard to socialize and meet women. Last summer I had my first GF. We dated for two months and it was getting physical. She was a Christian too. She was older (29) and had "had her fun" during her 20s in New York. I eventually couldn't take the frustration of everyone else having sex with her except me. So, I broke it off.

I am now trying to find the courage to get invested again. I want to believe that I am desirable enough to get someone that I view as desirable. But, I feel as though I don't have enough to offer.
 

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I dont really relate to being 'left out' with relationships and sex but I do feel 'behind' others my own age in other aspects of life. So I can see where your coming from and how frustrating it could be.
From my point of view, I dont believe there is a 'right guy', there is no perfect human specimen. 'Love' is not the perfect fantasy is cracked up to be. If people wait for this, it may never happen.
You have to accept that maybe your waiting for someone who may never come.
From talking to other women who lost their virginity, I have never heard that romantic 'meaningful' fantasy of loosing your virginity to the 'right' man.
I believe in waiting until your ready, but also in being realistic about your expectations of sex. I can tell you, loosing it is painful for a woman, emotionally and physically! 'Meaningful' is not a word Id use to describe the experience.
But once its gone, its gone, then you can move on.

Sorry if I sound rude. :afr
 

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I think i've just given up 'm just useless with girls or it's the fact that I've never been in practice I've been away from everything and everyone for so long that i just feeling weird just thinking about trying i'm like a child at my age i don't even try i have no confidence what so ever and the things partners like are stuff like confidnce, clothes, physique so i try not to kid myself
 

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Always keep things in perspective. I want to have this thought all the time, but I have to remember that there is over six billion people on this planet. There's always someone else, and there really is no rush. That said, where are the girls with SA in my area? :\
 

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I think Aurora's comments on this are right on.

It would be a huge mistake to wait for the "perfect" person to come along, because this person may or may not exist. But when it's meant to happen, it will happen. One thing I've been working on is being more straightforward in my approach to dating and physical displays of affection. Particularly with SA, it can be really hard to get comfortable explicitly showing interest in the opposite sex. But I've been getting better at overcoming this. There's nothing wrong with letting someone know you are attracted to them.

And to the OP, at 25 years old you are certainly not the last one on earth. Not even close.
 

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Don't get stuck in the trap of waiting forever, as this dream guy you're after you know 50,000 other woman are also probably searching for is already taken. It sounds harsh, and I don't mean to sound harsh in any way, shape or form, but the biting reality of it is that your standards in men could make or break you.
 

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ive given up on searching for the right girl. ive decided that when im 27 or so ill just go to thailand and find a nice thai girl and rescue her from poverty.. at least im making someones like better then :)
 

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It's always comforting to see there are girls in their 20's who are still virgins. Sort of makes me want to actually talk to the girls in this area instead of being so scared to.
 

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I've had similar experiences, albeit I'm a few years younger. My once close friends have been abandoning me to hang out with their girlfriends instead and I'm left alone. It sucks because it's eating into other aspects of my life as well—i.e. I have no-one to go out with, to the movies, travelling, etc. It's a double-whammy too in that, not only don't I have a partner, but my friends are being driven away from me as they'd rather be with their partners—not that I blame them.

I believe in love and want it more than anything else, but I don't necessarily believe that I will experience it myself—especially given how quiet and unsocial I am. People have told me things like "don't worry, it'll happen eventually" and "it'll come when you stop looking for it", but fact of the matter is that life ain't the movies and not everyone ends up with someone. :\
 

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I believe in love and want it more than anything else, but I don't necessarily believe that I will experience it myself-especially given how quiet and unsocial I am. People have told me things like "don't worry, it'll happen eventually" and "it'll come when you stop looking for it", but fact of the matter is that life ain't the movies and not everyone ends up with someone. :\
my thoughts exactly. my sister tells me this every time i see her.. "when you stop looking" etc. haha dont think so, why would a woman suddenly appear when i stop looking? this isn't magical land.
i always thought that it would just eventually happen, after all its inevitable right?...
sure ive dated girls, ive dated a few girls in my life so far but all of them were extremely short lived. those relationships showed me how i cant relate very well to women. i dont like playing mind games (hot/cold etc), i dont respond to flirting as i cant even detect the signs in the first place. im too shy to ask women out, or even approach them in the first place. ive had women ask ME out, but even that fizzled out after a few dates as they expect you to do the work.

i know you will say ahh but you are only 21, so so young (my sister tells me every day).. true but, realistically what are the chances that my dream girl who is just like me will waltz into my life tomorrow? lmao sorry but im a realist. im just not that compatible :(
 

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Equilibrian Epicurius
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Don't give it up without finding that "right guy" you've been seeking. You'll regret doing it as it will probably not be the meaningful experience you greatly desire for your first time. Your friends and basically everyone else on earth only experience sex driven by lust and attraction, not passionate love - don't feel ashamed because you haven't lost your virginity in the same unsatisfactory way they have.

I understand how you feel left out, as I also badly want to lose the V-card. But there's no way I won't wait for that right person to come along that I can seriously connect with before I lose it. That kind of sex has gotta be incredible and absolutely worth the wait.
 
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