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Don't want to speak for others but this is SA in a nutshell as I see it.

We got more than our fair dose of rejection when we were young - from parents, siblings, schoolmates, whomever. Rejection = passive (ignoring or not associating with someone without even giving it any thought) or active (bullying or intentional exclusion).

Rejection hurts, and knocks our self-esteem down a notch. If the frequency (and severity) is high enough, our self esteem doesn't get a chance to grow and develop in between as it should normally. We consequently shy away from socialization and become conditioned to fear it.

Being shy or uncomfortable socially is generally detrimental to the image we present to others, puts us at higher risk of rejection, and makes us more sensitive to it.

Our innate need for social acceptance or inclusion within our peer groups keeps us either trying to connect with people or yearning for connection. And so the cycle of torture continues indefinitely.

So then how to break the cycle? Obviously doing nothing about it will not solve anything. Practice is the key, but there needs to be a certain level of success, or we'll just have the situation as described above. That means limiting ourselves to baby steps, and being very choosy about who we attempt to connect with, in order to increase our chances of success. Older and/or more educated people tend to show more empathy, as do those who may have similar problems.

"Practice makes perfect" assumes a clean slate on each attempt. This is complicated by the fact that once rejection occurs amongst a particular peer group, subsequent attempts have an even higher risk of rejection (as now a history exists). This is one reason people find another job - they have run into social difficulties and need to 'clean the slate'. Granted this is not always so practical (for example, if you are committed to school, which is my current difficulty). But best to get away from a bad social environment if you can, the sooner you put it out of mind, the sooner you can begin to rebuild.

Keep in mind that our fear is not irrational. Anyone given the same chronic dose of rejection would be more or less where we are. No, normal people don't have such an exaggerated fear, but then they don't have to endure the consequences either.
 

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That means limiting ourselves to baby steps, and being very choosy about who we attempt to connect with, in order to increase our chances of success.
This was spot on for me. My positive outlook of the world and warmth in general has caused me to attracted all the people i dont want anything to do with.
 
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