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Incorporeal
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
... anywhere within the GVRD.

I don't know where to start but I really want to get a group going and possibly meet up. Although just having people from the area to chat with is great as well.

Open to suggestions on how best to get this going.

PM me or add me on skype if you're interested.

;)
 

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Hey cooperativecreature.

We have a couple of great meetup groups in Vancouver for people who are shy and/or have social anxiety.

Vancouver shyness and social anxiety: http://www.meetup.com/Vancouver-Social-Anxiety-Support/

Extremely Shy- Looking for Friends: http://www.meetup.com/Extremely-Shy-Looking-for-friends/

So if you're interested in meeting other people in a comfortable setting then this is probably a great place to start. If you're only interested in meeting users of this forum then please forgive my shameless advertisements.

But if you have any questions about either group then please let me know!
 

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Incorporeal
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hey fine

Thanks for the links. Coincidentally I just signed up for those groups shortly before seeing your post here. :b Will definitely check them out in the near future.

What are your thoughts/experience on these groups? I see events where there are upwards of 20 people attending and it sounds overwhelming for someone with moderate to high SA.

Are there other members here with experiences and advice they can share?
 

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I just checked the website that Fine has put up above and what I dont understand is how people who have anxiety being around people and socializing can be around this much people . . . let alone strangers ! I guess there is something EXTREMELY wrong with me. Now I really feel down that I cant even join one of these anxiety / social clubs.
 

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Hey Firoz. Check out the social anxiety support group (the first link i posted). It's probably a better starting point for somebody who has serious anxiety. And trust me, you won't be the only one there who has serious anxiety. The meetups are much quieter with smaller numbers of people. I believe most are capped so that a maximum of 10 can attend. And nobody has to speak if they don't want to. It's not rare at all for a new member to go an entire night without saying a single word.

The second group (extremely shy-looking for friends) can definetely be overwhelming for any first timers. Many of the people who attend events are not shy at all, and many more have largely overcome their shyness since joining the group.

Anyways my experiences with the group have almost been exclusively positive. I'm not exaggerating to say that these two groups together transformed my life (in a good way).

I remember the first time I attended a meetup event, it was for the first group. I felt at the time that I was coming off as being extremely awkward, especially compared to some of the other attendees who seemed to be able to converse quite well despite their anxiety. So that first meetup experience wasn't great for me. But despite that, I forced myself to keep coming out to the events, and over time it became easier and easier. Now if you met me at an event (and on a good day), you would probably never guessed that I was once a nervous anxious wreck in that setting.

I browse these forums pretty frequently, even though I never post, and it always saddens me to come across posts by people who are sad or depressed because they have nobody close to them in their life. I wish they lived in Vancouver, because if they did, I would tell them to join this group. I have seen so many people, many of whom have the most serious cases of social anxiety, have their lives transformed by the better for these groups. If you're looking for friends in Vancouver, then please don't let these amazing resources go unused. i can almost guarantee that if you can force yourself to come out to events, then you will eventually meet somebody whom you will one day call a close friend in your life.

And there is no worst case scenario here. Nobody is going to ridicule or make fun of you because of your anxiety or anything else for that matter. People won't even look at you funny.

So yah, I kind of rambled on there with that sales pitch. Sorry about that. I was mostly talking about the extremely shy group. The social anxiety support group is more serious, and although it still provides opportunities for making friends, the chance that you'll meet somebody that you click with is probably slimmer.

So I'll end this post here. If anybody would like to meet up in a smaller group prior to a large event, perhaps just for people on this forum then i'm always up for that as well. Going to a large event alone can be extremely difficult. But I think going with a group of people that you at least kind of know makes it a lot easier.

/end post.
 

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Incorporeal
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for your post --- very informative and encouraging. I've been mulling over these 2 groups the past few days and I do think that they are the way to go instead of ad-hocing something here (although I would completely be down for it, I mean I did start this thread lol). Even so, I still don't know if I can go to one myself.

However, from reading firoz's and your post, an idea I had to make things easier for myself and perhaps for others here is for people to connect here first without necessarily meeting up. I personally would be much more comfortable going to a meetup with someone I somewhat warmed up to first via online communicating. It would be like a buddy system.

Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be much activity here from fellow Vancouverites but perhaps we should give this thread a bit of time to get noticed? I'm contemplating posting this request on the meetup discussion board but it doesn't seem like it's used often and it'll probably be ignored anyway.

What do you guys think?
 

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Hey Firoz. Check out the social anxiety support group (the first link i posted). It's probably a better starting point for somebody who has serious anxiety. And trust me, you won't be the only one there who has serious anxiety. The meetups are much quieter with smaller numbers of people. I believe most are capped so that a maximum of 10 can attend. And nobody has to speak if they don't want to. It's not rare at all for a new member to go an entire night without saying a single word.

The second group (extremely shy-looking for friends) can definetely be overwhelming for any first timers. Many of the people who attend events are not shy at all, and many more have largely overcome their shyness since joining the group.

Anyways my experiences with the group have almost been exclusively positive. I'm not exaggerating to say that these two groups together transformed my life (in a good way).

I remember the first time I attended a meetup event, it was for the first group. I felt at the time that I was coming off as being extremely awkward, especially compared to some of the other attendees who seemed to be able to converse quite well despite their anxiety. So that first meetup experience wasn't great for me. But despite that, I forced myself to keep coming out to the events, and over time it became easier and easier. Now if you met me at an event (and on a good day), you would probably never guessed that I was once a nervous anxious wreck in that setting.

I browse these forums pretty frequently, even though I never post, and it always saddens me to come across posts by people who are sad or depressed because they have nobody close to them in their life. I wish they lived in Vancouver, because if they did, I would tell them to join this group. I have seen so many people, many of whom have the most serious cases of social anxiety, have their lives transformed by the better for these groups. If you're looking for friends in Vancouver, then please don't let these amazing resources go unused. i can almost guarantee that if you can force yourself to come out to events, then you will eventually meet somebody whom you will one day call a close friend in your life.

And there is no worst case scenario here. Nobody is going to ridicule or make fun of you because of your anxiety or anything else for that matter. People won't even look at you funny.

So yah, I kind of rambled on there with that sales pitch. Sorry about that. I was mostly talking about the extremely shy group. The social anxiety support group is more serious, and although it still provides opportunities for making friends, the chance that you'll meet somebody that you click with is probably slimmer.

So I'll end this post here. If anybody would like to meet up in a smaller group prior to a large event, perhaps just for people on this forum then i'm always up for that as well. Going to a large event alone can be extremely difficult. But I think going with a group of people that you at least kind of know makes it a lot easier.

/end post.
Interesting,

What is the average age in both?
Whats the gender ratio?

I would have to work up courage to attend the first one... How on average is a first timer welcomed in/introduced?
 

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Nope, still not!
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Just come to Belgium, you'll have the time of your life ;)
 

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Interesting,

What is the average age in both?
Whats the gender ratio?

I would have to work up courage to attend the first one... How on average is a first timer welcomed in/introduced?
In the SA support group there is quite a wide range of ages. But most people tend to be in their 20's/early 30's.

In the extremely shy group, it states in the description that the group is primarily for young adults, so the average age is a bit lower. Probably 28-29.

In terms of gender ratio, the SA support group has pretty small meetings so the ratio fluctuates from week to week. But there are always more men who show up than women. Usually in a group of 8-10 people I would expect there to be 2-4 girls in attendance.

With the extremely shy group, the ratio depends on the nature of the event. For dancing meetups there will be more girls than guys. Something at a pub or a bowling event tends to result in more guys showing up. But overall I would say that the ratio is about 40% girls.

And your last question, for the SA support group we start usually by doing introductions. Nobody has to speak and usually 1-2 people choose not to. But yah, we just go around the room and say why we're there and how our week was.

For the extremely shy group there isn't really anything done to break people in. Most events are so large that it would be hard to do so. But for any given event, I would say about 40-50% of the attendees are new, or they're new enough that they likely don't know anybody else at the event. So you wouldn't be the only one. Got to run, I'll post more later (maybe :) )
 
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