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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Since I'm a science fiction fan, I was inspired by WinterDave's post to write something in that venue that might be appropriate for this forum as well.
So I wrote two poems. One is straight science fiction (sort of), the other is a kind of fantasy (sort of).
Well, uh, both poems came out pretty weak, and I would never post them like that before working on it a lot more. But I'll post it anyway, because I kind of like them, and I'm feeling adventurous.


Vacuum

In space, no one
Can hear you cry,
As your tears geyser
From your eyes
In all directions.
Warping space
Like a black hole
In front of your face.

So you cry. You
Feel free to let go.
Those space-station people
Cannot tell you no.
Their authority does not scare you
Out here.
In the depths of space,
You cannot see them leer.

Vacuum is cruel, blood boils
with its slightest touch.
But your blood boils anyway
With each insult, with each
cruel one-liner you cannot match.

Social anxiety in a vacuum,
With nowhere to run.
The meds you brought up from Earth
Don't work in zero gravity
And the radiation from the sun.
You suffer in silence.
Waiting for each day to be done.

In some fantastic future, they'll
Tweak a certain combination of genes,
And not one anxious human being
Will suffer in silence, unseen.

But you're trapped in your present,
Inside an ever-turning human wheel,
And your life in space isn't, really,
What it might have been.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fillings

I went out in the evening
Into my abandoned street.
Turned into the silent avenue.
Its stones did not echo my feet.

I thought I heard a voice,
But it was only in my mind.
And as the wind went through the trees
Time started to unwind.

That was when I found myself
Walking backwards, hand in hand
With a silent doppelganger,
A mirror image of some kind.

He took me back into his home,
Which was also mine,
And as we entered through our door,
I felt again that twist of time.

A third duplicate of me appeared,
And then - again - we traced the path,
Which led us through a silent avenue
Where trees bent in a windy wrath.

I do not know what time it was, but
After many twists of unwinding time,
I had an army of familiar duplicates
To populate this empty city of my mind.
 

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Both of these poems were really good, but I have to admit I really really liked "Fillings". The first poem kinda gives one a sense of otherworldlyness, the way someone feels when they're in the midst of a panic attack.. the air around you is cold, and it's like all time and space has been sucked out around you.. and you are the only one in existence and all you feel is loneliness and pain. Being in the middle of a crowd when you feel this way is just like being in the middle of space..

The second poem.. wow. It reminds me of the wayI feel when I'm depressed..like there's no future, and the only thing you have left to do is to think about the past, and the person you've been. Often times when someone is depressed they only remember the negatives, hence the ominous quality of the 'dopplegangers".. which means evil twin in german, anyway..doesnt it? The imagery in this poem is also excellent..
 
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