Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

Using Your Ego

Tags
ego
2K views 3 replies 2 participants last post by  Anon7 
#1 ·
Your ego is how you see yourself, as if from another person's perspective. I've always believed the ego was the cause of S.A., and I thought eliminating the ego was the best way to eliminate S.A., and insecurity in general.

I thought emotions were bad, because they alter people's behavior, and when people change emotions, they might regret what they did when they were in a different emotional state.

I recently realized that emotions are the biggest part of life.

I want to he happy. Happiness is an emotion, and in my opinion, it's the only way to measure a person's quality of life. No matter what happens in your life, if you are happy, things are going well.

Anyway, back to the ego. I thought getting rid of the ego was the best solution to getting rid of people's insecurity. I've realized though, like emotions, the ego is a big part of life. Instead of allowing the ego to make us sad or angry, why not use it to make us happy?

The ego results in competition. That's what it does. People with S.A. are only sad because they compare themselves to others in ways that they shouldn't. People who you'd say have "big egos" do the same thing. They compare themselves to others, and feel proud because they've accomplished more. The thing is, they're value system is messed up, and so is yours.

People with big egos are happy for the wrong reason. Insecure people are sad/afraid for the wrong reasons as well.

But the ego is not completely bad! Like emotions, the ego is a big part of life. How can we use the ego in a different way, other than making ourselves feel better or worse than other people?

How people see you matters. People are the most important thing in life. The impact you leave on people is the impact you leave on the world.

Instead of trying to get people to respect, why not try to get them to think you're a nice person? Why not try to make them enjoy you?

That's what I'm talking about.

Think about it: The impact you leave on people is the impact you leave on the world, because people are all that matter.

You might think you don't like people, because they are hurtful, but who do they hurt?

If you are angry at people, you probably care about people. If you care about people, why not help them? Be nice to them because you want to see yourself as a nice person, and you care what they think.

Give people a good impression of yourself, and be egotistical about that, instead of feeling inadequate because of stupid reasons that mean nothing.
 
See less See more
#3 ·
I have become something of a hedonist over the years. As time passed though I started using that ego... I began to see my anxiety and pain as more of an understanding, or a blessing, because I found understanding in what it would be like not to have that... not to know what it's like to walk in my shoes. It really sucked growing up... but when I speak up about something that bothers me instead of holding it in because of my anxiety, and someone like me hears me speaking and gets the courage to speak of their own ambitions, then it makes me feel a lot better. I think this is an era of champions... champions like you. That is how I feel.
 
#4 ·
I'm sorry for bumping my own thread... but I really think this is important.

What I'm saying is that all that talk about not caring how you look and not caring what people think about you... is wrong.

What I'm saying is that we've just been approaching it from the wrong angle. It's like we need to stop trying to impress people, and start... trying to impress people, but it a different way.

The thing that people dislike the most in others, I'd say, is a lack of humility.

Anytime you hear someone call another person an idiot, it's either because that person was mean to them, or wasn't acting humble. The person wasn't actually an idiot... and people don't usually call stupid people idiots, because that's mean. It's like how we use the word retard. We don't actually care if someone is retarded or not, that's not how we judge people.

Society makes us think that if we are perfect, people won't call us names. But the imperfections like, being stupid or being over-weight or whatever, those imperfections aren't the reason people call you names. Lack of humility is.

So you should care what people think. You want them to think you're humble. You want them to think that you're a good person. Why would they call you a name at that point? They would only be making a fool of themselves.

Once again, I want to be asked questions because I'm pretty effing sure I've got this figured out.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top