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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
One of the biggest struggles I have in managing my depression and anxiety is the inconsistency of my symptoms. In a single day - well, more like a single hour - I can swing from feeling despair to joy and back again. It can be debilitating. It also makes planning very difficult as I feel so unconfident that I'll ever know in advance how I'll feel. I can feel great when waking up and terrible by mid-morning. I'll have days and weeks when I feel great, and then crash. It's also really hard to explain to others who don't intimately know me - I can appear totally fine (at work for example) for part of the day and then all of a sudden be racing to the bathroom to ward off a panic attack.

Overall, also, I feel tired and not as resilient as in days past. I get extremely anxious much more easily than I ever used to, but I also have better coping skills so I can self-soothe more effectively But still, the inconsistency in how I feel is so exhausting. I feel like I can never make plans because I so often have to bail.

My life's pretty good and comfortable and objectively I don't have a lot of stress, however I feel very weak when it comes to handling stresses that come my way. I get a 'cortisol hangover' on the regular that sometimes takes days to recover from.

How do you guys cope with the inconsistencies of your symptoms? Any success stories about leveling off a bit?
 

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One of the biggest struggles I have in managing my depression and anxiety is the inconsistency of my symptoms. In a single day - well, more like a single hour - I can swing from feeling despair to joy and back again. It can be debilitating. It also makes planning very difficult as I feel so unconfident that I'll ever know in advance how I'll feel. I can feel great when waking up and terrible by mid-morning. I'll have days and weeks when I feel great, and then crash. It's also really hard to explain to others who don't intimately know me - I can appear totally fine (at work for example) for part of the day and then all of a sudden be racing to the bathroom to ward off a panic attack.

Overall, also, I feel tired and not as resilient as in days past. I get extremely anxious much more easily than I ever used to, but I also have better coping skills so I can self-soothe more effectively But still, the inconsistency in how I feel is so exhausting. I feel like I can never make plans because I so often have to bail.

My life's pretty good and comfortable and objectively I don't have a lot of stress, however I feel very weak when it comes to handling stresses that come my way. I get a 'cortisol hangover' on the regular that sometimes takes days to recover from.

How do you guys cope with the inconsistencies of your symptoms? Any success stories about leveling off a bit?
This is like reading my diary(happens quite a lot on this site, though). It is this exact reason why it took so long for me to contact a therapist. Whenever I felt depressed/panicked/any mental unwellness I decided to contact a mental health clinic the next time they were open. But at that point I normally felt a bit better and doubted myself - "am I really that bad?". Now I have understood that yes I do need help, but still, at the moment I am on the waiting list and I still doubt as certain points. What I've done is I put an alarm on my phone every day that says"Admit that you have a problem, yes you're strong but you do need help". Not sure if it's a bit over the top, but I find that it's helping until I can get some proffessional help. So many years that could have been better if I had just admitted it earlier. But it's not too late. My one advice: Don't doubt that you may need help because you have good days - accept that you want to change because you have bad days.
 

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I am going through the same thing. I am currently seeing a psychiatrist as well as a social worker.
I usually feel worse when I am not doing anything, but I have difficulty starting, which is the main problem.

I don't know if this works for you, but the social worker asks me to make a schedule for the week of things I like to do, and try to follow it.
My social worker is very nice, she doesn't get upset when I don't do anything. But it kind of helps when you have someone to keep you accountable.

If you have someone that knows what you are going through, maybe try to make plans anyways, and hopefully they will understand if you bail.

Do you usually feel worse at work?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I actually am a social worker, though not working in my field at the moment. It's not worse at work, no. It's usually right before I have to do something that I've committed to. For example I had a ticket to go see an author that I really like speak, bought them weeks in advance because I was looking forward to it. But an hour before it started I was paralysed with anxiety, sobbing, couldn't go. This happens a lot.

I also worry that it's making me more controlling in my relationship. I feel like I need to have control over most situations so that I know what I getting into. I used to be very spontaneous and easygoing, but now everything has to be planned way in advance (and evrn then I often still bail).
 

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I actually am a social worker, though not working in my field at the moment. It's not worse at work, no. It's usually right before I have to do something that I've committed to. For example I had a ticket to go see an author that I really like speak, bought them weeks in advance because I was looking forward to it. But an hour before it started I was paralysed with anxiety, sobbing, couldn't go. This happens a lot.

I also worry that it's making me more controlling in my relationship. I feel like I need to have control over most situations so that I know what I getting into. I used to be very spontaneous and easygoing, but now everything has to be planned way in advance (and evrn then I often still bail).
Hmm, this sounds similar to something I do often. Do you know what triggers it? I personally keep a journal of my good and bad moods and when they're more exaggerated than usual to help me pin point possible triggers. Have you ever been diagnosed with anything, like maybe bipolar or something?

I would highly suggest seeing a doctor and mapping out your moods. I know I could say stress techniques but truthfully I know what it's like when you feel that even when you learn to "control" what's happening, it doesn't make you feel much better.

Though still I have a few things I do such as: taking a quick shower (even just a couple minutes), listening to a certain song/music, looking up different helpful quotes, going for a walk, forcing myself to laugh or watching something funny, making myself a tea or even having a beer/glass of wine.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for this. I do have good coping mechanisms for when it happens (many of those that you mentioned) but I have trouble with being blindsided by it happening. I need a better way to head it off. I like your idea of journal-mapping my moods and will try it.

I know that one of my triggers is feeling pressure. This is one of the struggles I face a lot lately- feeling over-obligated (even though I don't take too much on). When I get anxious it feels like someone's got me around the throat, and like I'm being pulled in a lot of directions. I lead a pretty quiet and not too busy life so this is baffling to me.

As for previous posters' input, thank you as well. I made a Dr's appointment for tomorrow and may give the cipralex another go as I had success with it in the past.
 

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i totally understand what u r going through as i feel exactly the same. some good days some bad days hate making plans in advance because if i wake up and feel very anxious or mad or depressed its very difficult to keep the plans and not cancel. it has hindered me from having many friends as bailing is what i do quite often. I havent really found a solid way to get past it. i jus try to tell myself all the time "its no that serious" and "whats the worse that could happen". usualy worse case scenario is not all that bad. this works some days but others no. But i can agree with the pressure feeling and overwhelmed its difficult to manage.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I started Cipralex tonight to try to manage a little better. Took it at 5, was violently ill at 7. It's going to be a bumpy ride!
 

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I'm not really sure, but I can relate to that. Sometimes I'll be in a good mood, or at least an alright mood, but then I'll see or hear something that will send me into a nosedive. And it happens so quick it's like flipping a light switch. So there's no real way for me to even realize that it's going to happen so that I could back out or go somewhere else.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I totally get that feeling, Sync. Am trying to learn the signs so that I cam try to manage those times in advance. Or at least make an escape plan!
 
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