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SASsy
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Most of my relatives understand that I have a "problem" and tend to cut me some slack...but once they're away from me they start talkin' behind my back. Know what I'm sayin'? I hear about all the "weird", "crazy", "mental", "lazy" comments coming from them and it's disturbing to me.

How do you deal with relatives that think you're...."different"?
 

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gosh i have had this before. There were some I really had to cut out completely from my life. I know thats harsh, but hearing what they were saying about me was making me worse, not better. And I had to face the fact, they will always do it to. I would trust them and think they were being nice and understanding, and then the bad things they were saying would get back to me. Anyway, enough about me, you dont need to go to my extreme of cutting them out of your like, but remember that they are only saying it for something to gossip about, and they will exaggerate things. If anyone tries to tell you what someone has been saying about you, but your hand up, block them and say "i dont wanna hear it!". Hope that helps, maybe a little at least :yes
 

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In 'da 707
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I don't have much contact with relatives, but if I had relatives and overheard them with those comments, I wouldn't think too much into it. It's hard for them to appreciate how incapacitating anxiety disorders can be because they haven't been through it, so their comments really wouldn't hold much merit with me. It's not worth the energy. Let them think what they want, but only you know the truth.
 

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SASsy
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks, ladies. Excellent advice. :yes
 

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I don't have much contact with relatives, but if I had relatives and overheard them with those comments, I wouldn't think too much into it. It's hard for them to appreciate how incapacitating anxiety disorders can be because they haven't been through it, so their comments really wouldn't hold much merit with me. It's not worth the energy. Let them think what they want, but only you know the truth.
This is very good advice and reasoning!
 

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My dad still thinks I'm lazy. It's partially true but he doesn't seem to get that I have been lonely most of my life, with little friends. When I saw him last summer (hadn't seen him in over 4 years), I overheard him once again telling my step-monster about how I refused to go to school when I was a teenager and how it caused him so much trouble. I mean...like really??? That was 20 years ago.....At least I have my little sister to talk to about how he is/was such a miserable parent.

We (my sister, me, my dad) kind of have a weird 3-way thing going on, where 2 of us will talk about the 3rd one and then tell the other not to say we said blah blah blah. Of course, much of time we do. We are all miserable at keeping secrets.
 

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is trying.
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I keep away from my relatives. And everyone else :D
 

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S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
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My relatives are quite sympathetic, but half the time they don't realise just how bad my anxiety can get. My close family don't seem to recognise the sources of anxiety and stress which can cause me to flip out. Then they don't understand what's bothering me when I do go over the deep end... I know my close family care but, often, they go about it the wrong way.
 

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We (my sister, me, my dad) kind of have a weird 3-way thing going on, where 2 of us will talk about the 3rd one and then tell the other not to say we said blah blah blah. Of course, much of time we do. We are all miserable at keeping secrets.
That's me, my mom, and my brother right there. Over the years I have learned what to say and what not to say so we can still get the gossip going without getting myself into too much trouble. Sometimes I will actually tell my brother or my mom something and then ask the other one if they had been told yet :teeth

They are the only people I am close with so I've learned how to deal with them.

My mom doesn't get the anxiety though she actually has a lot of the same issues I do. As far as she's concerned she's "not a nice person" and "just doesn't like people". She accepts that I am "very shy" and she's actually babied me a lot for this throughout my life, but when I couldn't go to school or make it through work she labeled me as "lazy" because it is the only way she could deal with it. I simply accept that she doesn't get it. Sometimes I will explain things to her if I feel it's necessary in our relationship and sometimes this helps or sometimes she'll get flustered and say, "I know, I know, it's that anxiety thing or whatever," at which point I know to drop the subject because she's not feeling particularly open minded today.

With my brother things are very different. He went on disability for OCD about 5 years ago and he actually likes to identify as "the crazy one" in the family. Because of the fact that he understand anxiety disorders he can usually be the perfect person to talk about things with, but if he at all feels like I am threatening to overtake him as the person with the more disabling disorder he starts to spread his issues as thick as possible to make himself sound all the crazier.

I figure this is a lot like his getting upset when I beat him at video games when we were kids. It means a lot more to him so I just let him win.

I just recently found out that my mom had discussed something very personal with my brother about me behind my back. I know it's how we are and I know the two of them so well that I don't let it bother me too much. It simply isn't worth the stress.

If anyone else in my family has an issue with me I figure they can go boil their heads because I don't care what they think. If I wanted to deal with that kind of drama I would have finished High School.
 

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To: Crazycatlady: Wow you are pretty good at figuring that stuff out. It's taken me years to "get" my family. Part of it is that we don't live near each other.

Even though several people have it/had it in my family - we don't really talk about it.
 

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My dad still thinks I'm lazy. It's partially true but he doesn't seem to get that I have been lonely most of my life, with little friends. When I saw him last summer (hadn't seen him in over 4 years), I overheard him once again telling my step-monster about how I refused to go to school when I was a teenager and how it caused him so much trouble. I mean...like really??? That was 20 years ago.....At least I have my little sister to talk to about how he is/was such a miserable parent.

We (my sister, me, my dad) kind of have a weird 3-way thing going on, where 2 of us will talk about the 3rd one and then tell the other not to say we said blah blah blah. Of course, much of time we do. We are all miserable at keeping secrets.
This sounds exactly like my family, just switch dad with mom. I think my mom is more understanding about our **** though.
 

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That's me, my mom, and my brother right there. Over the years I have learned what to say and what not to say so we can still get the gossip going without getting myself into too much trouble. Sometimes I will actually tell my brother or my mom something and then ask the other one if they had been told yet :teeth

They are the only people I am close with so I've learned how to deal with them.

My mom doesn't get the anxiety though she actually has a lot of the same issues I do. As far as she's concerned she's "not a nice person" and "just doesn't like people". She accepts that I am "very shy" and she's actually babied me a lot for this throughout my life, but when I couldn't go to school or make it through work she labeled me as "lazy" because it is the only way she could deal with it. I simply accept that she doesn't get it. Sometimes I will explain things to her if I feel it's necessary in our relationship and sometimes this helps or sometimes she'll get flustered and say, "I know, I know, it's that anxiety thing or whatever," at which point I know to drop the subject because she's not feeling particularly open minded today.

With my brother things are very different. He went on disability for OCD about 5 years ago and he actually likes to identify as "the crazy one" in the family. Because of the fact that he understand anxiety disorders he can usually be the perfect person to talk about things with, but if he at all feels like I am threatening to overtake him as the person with the more disabling disorder he starts to spread his issues as thick as possible to make himself sound all the crazier.

I figure this is a lot like his getting upset when I beat him at video games when we were kids. It means a lot more to him so I just let him win.

I just recently found out that my mom had discussed something very personal with my brother about me behind my back. I know it's how we are and I know the two of them so well that I don't let it bother me too much. It simply isn't worth the stress.

If anyone else in my family has an issue with me I figure they can go boil their heads because I don't care what they think. If I wanted to deal with that kind of drama I would have finished High School.
Your life sounds suspiciously similar to mine too. :um
 
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