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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey guys, this is my first post here. I've been reading the forum for a while but decided to finally post today. Essentially my issue is that I feel extremely uncomfortable watching most sex scenes, even when I'm alone! I know a lot of people have this kind of anxiety when with their parents/friends/significant other, but I don't even have to be with them to feel uncomfortable.

I know this anxiety is stopping me from enjoying a lot of quality TV shows. As an example, I've recently started watching both Girls and Game of Thrones - and I can genuinely say I am very interested in the plot, and the characters...but I can't get past watching the sex scenes! I don't know what it is about them, but it's stopping me from watching most all good TV and movies, because there's bound to be sex in almost all these great films/shows.

All this is bad enough on it's own, but my girlfriend is a tv/film connoisseur. She loves talking about these shows to me, and she loves sharing her favourite shows with me. And I really try to put effort in to watch these shows, but I still can't get past the ever-present sex.

The thing is, I don't think it should be an issue. Sex is natural! Sex is realistic! I find it a little weird that I am so sensitive to sex, yet I can watch tons of violent/otherwise disturbing (yet UNREALISTIC) movies and be totally okay with it.

Any ideas on what to do?
 

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I have no advice, though I have the exact same issue. :sigh Cripes, I'm 36 and can't even watch SIMULATED sex scenes (like on network TV!) by myself...just so cringe inducing. I like horror movies, but I can't watch them anymore because just about every one of them has sex in it nowadays, it seems. PG-13 movies used to be safe...not anymore. :no

I have lots of issues with intimacy and such...I act like I have PTSD, so that might have some things to do with my own avoidance of this. Though I don't know WHY I act in such a way. I share your frustration. :/ It's at least good to know I'm not the only one.
 

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Yeah I can't watch sex scenes either. I refuse to watch anything that has them and it makes my mom think I'm immature for mostly only watching kids shows. I don't like sex in general though.
 

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For a lot of shows, the sex scenes are the only reason I keep tuning in.

I used to be this way though, I'd get grossed out. But that's cause of my own weird views of sex due to body issues.
 

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It wouldn't surprise me if a lot of people feel this way. But our feelings don't have an impact on what's produced, and the people who do like it create an ever-increasing demand for it.
 

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I'm comfortable with them if i'm watching the show/movie alone. If there are others watching the same scenes it just gets real awkward... am I supposed to turn away while they do the deed, laugh or do I just stay unfazed by it?

IDK.
 

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I guess you need to become more comfortable in your own sex life. You may be consciously or sub-consciously comparing yourself to the people on tv and your own experiences or lack therefore of. If you have an open discussion with your girlfriend about your insecurities hopefully that will improve your self confidence in your own sex life and you won't feel so weird watching sex scenes anymore.
 

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I feel the same way depending on how they are. For some reason the scenes on Game of Thrones are easier for me to watch, maybe cause it's fantasy and not real life. I usually get freaked out with most scenes because I don't know how real they are and I don't want them to be real because it scares me as an asexual. I feel the same way about Girls though and the sex scenes make it hard for me to enjoy the show because they really gross me out. I think I may stop watching the show though because I can no longer relate to it with all of the sex scenes.
 

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I guess the only way to overcome it is to be more confident in your sexuality (easier said than done) and to try to expose and desensitize yourself to it. You seem to have a pretty grounded view of the nature of sex, so it is a little confounding as to why you can't watch it.

What specifically about it bothers you? (You don't have to answer publicly, but it may be in your best interest to try to analyze what specifically is causing your anxiety and try to systematically approach it.)
 

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Game of Thrones has some intense sex scenes, I think more raw than most. I don't enjoy them but they can be tolerated. Try it without audio and put subtitles on, then it's more like a book.

I think most of the awkwardness comes from the groans and "SLAP IT, SLAP IT, MMMM"s anyway. People underestimate audio.
 

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I just get super embarassed, just like when I watch someone do something embarassing on tv. I know its fake but I still have to change the channel because I feel like I am the one embarassing myself.
 

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When i do watch movies with a sex scene it freaks me out because of how much of my life has been wasted.
 

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Most people feel uncomfortable watching sex scenes. Most of the time, sex scenes are used for one specific purpose: to get eyes on the screen. Most of the time, the scenes are, well, gratuitous. Very rarely does a scene like that contribute to the plot. It is watching two strangers in an intimate moment, which to some is horrible and to others is stimulating. But, all that matters is that you're comfortable with the way you feel about it. It is awkward, to watch two strangers in an intimate moments like that. Don't feel weird, it is actually very common.
Also, a lot of people lie about how they feel about sex, including voyeurism like watching scenes in movies. Don't feel weird, it's pretty normal.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I guess the only way to overcome it is to be more confident in your sexuality (easier said than done) and to try to expose and desensitize yourself to it. You seem to have a pretty grounded view of the nature of sex, so it is a little confounding as to why you can't watch it.

What specifically about it bothers you?
I actually have no idea what *specifically* bothers me about it, that's the thing. If I could put my finger on it, I would be able to work towards getting rid of this issue.

My girlfriend is super supportive, and it's great, I just feel like the fact that there is sex on a show will stop me from watching it completely. And it's something I do hope to work through, somehow. I have been trying to desensitize myself to it, but there's a HUGE jump between your PG13 level sex scenes (which I'm okay with), and your R rated/HBO sex scenes (which are almost traumatizing at times). Not a whole lot of middle ground to work with.
 

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I'm comfortable with them if i'm watching the show/movie alone. If there are others watching the same scenes it just gets real awkward... am I supposed to turn away while they do the deed, laugh or do I just stay unfazed by it?

IDK.
^ my life
 

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Guess I pretty much feel like you guys. It's just boring and disengaging. If one person were clearly going to bed with another and suddenly the next scene was the following morning, I'd pretty much get what happened. I can figure it out. And it'd be kind of merciful frankly.

Maybe shorter sex scenes can be good though. A short scene in the Swedish film version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo comes to mind as an example of where it's actually pretty well done imo, if I'm not mis-remembering.
 
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