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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am in my 20s and I still seem to attract bullies. I don't know what it is about me but it seems to be a reoccuring theme in my life

Recently, there was this guy in my apartment building (im a college student) who I once had a fairly long conversation with..he gave me his number even though I was not interested. He took the one conversation we had the wrong way and thought it would 'lead' to something, but I was just being nice. What am I supposed to do say "don't talk to me jerk!"

everytime I ran into him he became more and more aggressive and the final straw was when he asked if he could come to my apartment so we could talk...absolutely rude, and disrespectful to invite yourself over to a woman's place like that. It's obvious he's looking for sex.

now everytime I run into him he always has something kinda rude to say, which irritates me. I know ignoring his remarks are not the way to go, it will only make it worse...but the thing is is that I want to say something back but I fear I may something too mean or malicious. I dont want to give him ammo so other people can ostracize me. I just want to know the right thing to say, so he knows that he cannot bully me because he cant handle rejection.

he always sees me alone, which makes me a target for this type of behavior. but I dont want to be pressured into being seen with a group of fake ppl so I wont get bullied. ya know, just what should I do???
 

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The Lonely Cowboy
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Well first you should mention this guy to your friends. Try to not be alone with him too much. Get a couple of your tough guy friends to walk you to your apartment... he should get the message.

Or you could calmly tell him that you're sorry if you came off as stuck-up but that it's no excuse for bullying. I don't know man...
 

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trippin' off the power
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Why would ignoring his remarks make it worse? Can you calmly confront him, and ask him why he's rude?
 

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insert witty comment here
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I don't know what would be the best way to handle the current situation.

Just as an idea for future situations. Never be too nice to men. If they feel that there is a chance of you and him and then it doesn't happen he will feel rejected. And that usually leads to aggression.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Well first you should mention this guy to your friends. Try to not be alone with him too much. Get a couple of your tough guy friends to walk you to your apartment... he should get the message.

Or you could calmly tell him that you're sorry if you came off as stuck-up but that it's no excuse for bullying. I don't know man...
I dont have any guy friends:| I dont have any close friends right now:blank

so I come across as stuck up? I had no idea. I can't help that I am not interested. Really, I am not interested in him or anybody right now...I'm just trying to focus on my studies. Dont want to be thrown off track by relationships and the drama right now.

i feel like guilty for not liking him and i shouldn't. and i found it very disrespectful how aggressive he was by trying to invite himself over to my apartment...it scared me:eek: i live alone. and i feel like he didn't really respect me to ask such a thing ya know. and everytime i ran into him after the first conversation, he was being too aggressive by invading my personal space and complimenting me on my appearance (almost like sexual harassment) so I started to not speak to him because I felt disrespected

Just as an idea for future situations. Never be too nice to men. If they feel that there is a chance of you and him and then it doesn't happen he will feel rejected. And that usually leads to aggression.
Now I know better..but I really dont think I am all of that so when I am nice I dont think it will lead to this. how do I talk to men without coming across as too nice??

Why would ignoring his remarks make it worse? Can you calmly confront him, and ask him why he's rude?
I have been bullied in the past. And what happens when you ignore rude comments from other people, it gives them the message that its okay to continue to disrespect you. they think you're weak and too afraid to defend yourself. Ignoring never makes it go away, it only makes it worse. Some ppl love it when they can say whatever they want to another person and they know that other person wont say anything back. If you say something back, chances are they'll stop and learn to respect you

as for confronting him about why he's rude, I already know why he's being rude, its because I rejected him. and its not my fault that I dont like him. everybody has been rejected. I have. I just need to know what to say to him so he can get the message that its not okay to bully me or lay a guilt trip on me because i dont want to have sex w/ him or date him
 

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trippin' off the power
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The intent in asking isn't to retrieve information. It's all about calling him out on his behavior, and possibly making him feel uneasy. He might not even know how to answer, which is the point.

If you don't want to ask, just tell him you don't appreciate his rude behavior, and that you wanted to be civil, but he's not making it easy.
 

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The Lonely Cowboy
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I don't think you were being stuck up!! But you could just SAY that you're sorry if you came across as stuck up. You are in the right here. He is being an immature jerk.
 

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I am in my 20s and I still seem to attract bullies. I don't know what it is about me but it seems to be a reoccuring theme in my life

Recently, there was this guy in my apartment building (im a college student) who I once had a fairly long conversation with..he gave me his number even though I was not interested. He took the one conversation we had the wrong way and thought it would 'lead' to something, but I was just being nice. What am I supposed to do say "don't talk to me jerk!"

everytime I ran into him he became more and more aggressive and the final straw was when he asked if he could come to my apartment so we could talk...absolutely rude, and disrespectful to invite yourself over to a woman's place like that. It's obvious he's looking for sex.

now everytime I run into him he always has something kinda rude to say, which irritates me. I know ignoring his remarks are not the way to go, it will only make it worse...but the thing is is that I want to say something back but I fear I may something too mean or malicious. I dont want to give him ammo so other people can ostracize me. I just want to know the right thing to say, so he knows that he cannot bully me because he cant handle rejection.

he always sees me alone, which makes me a target for this type of behavior. but I dont want to be pressured into being seen with a group of fake ppl so I wont get bullied. ya know, just what should I do???
Tell this man you are not interested and get a male family member to walk you to your apartment. This man sounds creepy. If you can, plan to move out of this building. This man is a bully and since he knows that he scares you, he may never stop. Carry pepper spray and never let this man follow you to your apartment.
 

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Call your brothers for back up protection, buy mace and file a restraining order, absolutely no human being should act that way from a slight diss. Protect yourself, and please read the book the Gift of Fear, guys like that usually try to get the woman alone to physically harm her or worse. Dont go near him or let him in your apt, mention someone to him and what he is doing so if anything happens he will be suspect numero uno!
 

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I don't know what would be the best way to handle the current situation.

Just as an idea for future situations. Never be too nice to men. If they feel that there is a chance of you and him and then it doesn't happen he will feel rejected. And that usually leads to aggression.
What a great idea... honestly though it's probably true. Be nice to shy men though?

I don't know what you do because I would never make a girl feel bad for rejecting me. Maybe you should just try to avoid him for now. GL
 

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Guy sounds like a creep.

Is there anyone you can report him to in your building, landlord or someone?

If not, like said above, buy mace or a tazer or both :) and consider filing a restraining order if he keeps bothering you, lol I would suggest you continue to ignore him more for a bit or telling him off politely before this though.
 

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This guy seems like a real creeper. I would just tell him that you are not interested at all. Because the longer this goes on the more and more pushy this guy will get. Some people just enjoy pushing other people's boundaries.
 

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^ Agreed.

Freakin bullies. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. He hasn't taken the hint yet, so you've just gotta spell it out for him and tell him you're not interested. If he's still following you around after this, tell him to leave you alone, and that you will get a restraining order if he keeps it up.
 

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^ Agreed.

Freakin bullies. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. He hasn't taken the hint yet, so you've just gotta spell it out for him and tell him you're not interested. If he's still following you around after this, tell him to leave you alone, and that you will get a restraining order if he keeps it up.
The important part is making sure she says something next time this guy accosts her. Because it seems like he is getting more and more aggressive. I swear some people just love causing discomfort to others. :no
 

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I don't know what would be the best way to handle the current situation.

Just as an idea for future situations. Never be too nice to men. If they feel that there is a chance of you and him and then it doesn't happen he will feel rejected. And that usually leads to aggression.
Sounds like there is a need for a restraining order
buy some pepper spray
Call your brothers for back up protection, buy mace and file a restraining order, absolutely no human being should act that way from a slight diss. Protect yourself, and please read the book the Gift of Fear, guys like that usually try to get the woman alone to physically harm her or worse. Dont go near him or let him in your apt, mention someone to him and what he is doing so if anything happens he will be suspect numero uno!
Guy sounds like a creep.

Is there anyone you can report him to in your building, landlord or someone?

If not, like said above, buy mace or a tazer or both :) and consider filing a restraining order if he keeps bothering you, lol I would suggest you continue to ignore him more for a bit or telling him off politely before this though.
^ Agreed.

Freakin bullies. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. He hasn't taken the hint yet, so you've just gotta spell it out for him and tell him you're not interested. If he's still following you around after this, tell him to leave you alone, and that you will get a restraining order if he keeps it up.
You know, with responses like this, no wonder decent men avoid women. How do you know he will go as far as you say? We only have one side of the story, guys. I know we deal with enough crap as SAers - I know I have. If I knew stuff like this was going on, I would be afraid to even say hello.....or even respond in this thread!
 
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