I know everyone here hates SA too but I just feel so frustrated and blah. I've come so far, yet at the same time I haven't. It's been a couple of years since I've visited this forum and posted but I just needed to vent my frustrations in a place where other people will understand.
In the past year or so, I have...
- Met some awesome friends that I hang out with at least once a week. (This is by far my biggest accomplishment and something I've sought for over 5 years now. I've stepped outside of my comfort zone for this and really pushed myself to make it happen, so I'm really happy about this one.)
- Moved into an apt
- Pursued something I've always wanted to do... dance. I do partner dances (e.g. salsa and swing). It is in this area that I still feel my social anxiety very strongly, and has gotten me frustrated enough to post again here (haha). In order to get the level I want, I need to go out social dancing and well... it makes me nervous. Granted, I'm sure social dancing makes a lot of people nervous but having SA just adds that much more nervousness/anxiety. Not to mention, I have to go by myself all the time because none of my friends dance (or even want to dance). If I can't get over my nerves when it comes to this, I might as well stop because right now all I'm doing is throwing money away. (And lots of it because I take so many private lessons.) Right now, dancing is one of the few things that makes me really happy and just thinking about quitting makes me depressed because... well, what do I have left if I quit dance? Not much else I'll tell you. (In terms of things I'm passionate about.)
I mean, I'm at the point where I'm near obsessive about this new hobby because I really want it and have wanted it for so long. I just feel like I have so many barriers that prevent me from really going for it. Barriers (like SA), that I thought I had mostly gotten under control. I mean, yeah I understand that I might always have SA and that's fine because, like I said, I have it mostly under control but ugh... I thought my passion and drive for dance will help push through those barriers but apparently my fears are stronger.
In the past year or so, I have...
- Met some awesome friends that I hang out with at least once a week. (This is by far my biggest accomplishment and something I've sought for over 5 years now. I've stepped outside of my comfort zone for this and really pushed myself to make it happen, so I'm really happy about this one.)
- Moved into an apt
- Pursued something I've always wanted to do... dance. I do partner dances (e.g. salsa and swing). It is in this area that I still feel my social anxiety very strongly, and has gotten me frustrated enough to post again here (haha). In order to get the level I want, I need to go out social dancing and well... it makes me nervous. Granted, I'm sure social dancing makes a lot of people nervous but having SA just adds that much more nervousness/anxiety. Not to mention, I have to go by myself all the time because none of my friends dance (or even want to dance). If I can't get over my nerves when it comes to this, I might as well stop because right now all I'm doing is throwing money away. (And lots of it because I take so many private lessons.) Right now, dancing is one of the few things that makes me really happy and just thinking about quitting makes me depressed because... well, what do I have left if I quit dance? Not much else I'll tell you. (In terms of things I'm passionate about.)
I mean, I'm at the point where I'm near obsessive about this new hobby because I really want it and have wanted it for so long. I just feel like I have so many barriers that prevent me from really going for it. Barriers (like SA), that I thought I had mostly gotten under control. I mean, yeah I understand that I might always have SA and that's fine because, like I said, I have it mostly under control but ugh... I thought my passion and drive for dance will help push through those barriers but apparently my fears are stronger.
