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I've never really understood how I'm supposed to act when I get approached by classmates, so I usually take one of two routes: I either latch onto that person and talk their ear off, or I barely say anything out of fear that I'll just annoy them and make them hate me. I mostly do the latter, but do you think that I'm just projecting negative thoughts that aren't realistic onto myself? I mean, obviously it would be impossible for anyone to know for sure, but let me ask this: which is a safer way to be, a little bit daring or a lot reserved?
 

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Sup, young parson?
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I'm just projecting negative thoughts that aren't realistic onto myself?
Yes.
Being very reserved is so, so much easier than being 'daring'. The thing with being reserved is that the results you get are certain. I think it's important to remember also that what a person who has SA considers really bold, or even outrageous, and out-of-character or out-of-line is exactly that- for them. To others, they may just be friendly or chatty, externally, and may not over-think it like the person talking. If you really do talk people's ears off, maybe ask, 'Am I happier extending myself to others and experiencing the effects-both potentially good and bad- compared to being more reclusive and not knowing what it would be like for people to know me?' Maybe consider a balance between the two routes as a n ideal to work towards.
 

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I do this too. I rarely ever connect with someone then I worry if I annoy them. As for everyone else- I don't talk to them. I have a very hard time talking to new or unknown people. I want to talk but I get scared that they will laugh at me.

I feel I over think things BUT I have been laughed at for speaking freely too many times and it effects me.

I think what you do is normal for someone with SA
 

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but let me ask this: which is a safer way to be, a little bit daring or a lot reserved?
A little bit daring is the better choice

Sure, there may be a couple who don't mesh with that kind of personality, but it opens you up to people, knowing them, and getting a chance to become a friend. Compare that with being silent and unresponsive, not taking any chances. You're not going to know anybody with that kind of behavior.
 

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An Annoying person
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Yeah, the first one is better. It's just that, us with social anxiety, we tend to be so overeager when someone ACTUALLY talks to us, that we step over some bounds too quickly. My advice is, be talkative, but don't get too personal during the first one or two conversations, don't badmouth anyone yet, as they might be good friends with whoever's talking to you and actually ask THEM questions as well, don't just talk about yourself for five minutes straight and then let the awkward silence commence (a simple, "how about you?" is usually enough).
 
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