[rice]

I have been at the same job for 15 years. Everyone else stays 2-3 years and moves on to something else. I feel like such a loser. I have a university degree and working in a group home seems like a not very prestegious job. I work straight afternoons- so I can't join any groups or things that would help my social life.
Today, I applied for 24 hr. job at another program within our system, where I would work days and just do case mangement , not chores, baths ect. I would have to ask my present grouphome if I could still work there two days a week, which is a possibility.
Now, I'm feeling scared and depressed, about making a move. I'm worried the people at the new program won't want me on their team- that they'll see me as negative, trouble causer, with not much of a life to talk about. I do seem to complain more that other people at work, which I think is partly beacause of poor boundaries in what's expected at work, little supervision and partly my disorder.. I do a good job at the group home. Maybe it's just the thought of change that is bringing all the negative thoughts up. I t feels safer to just stay in the job I'm at. Any advice?

 

[lostsockmonkey]

Hi, rice. I'm new here. I am having a similar problem right now. I worked at one job for a little over a year, and I was very good at my job and liked it a lot; however, I ended up quitting in the middle of my shift one day b/c I had a panic attack when a client yelled at me (although, at the time I didn't realize I had anxiety.) I got another job a week later and have been there ever since (over 4 years,) and I am very comfortable there. But I need more money, and there is no opportunity for advancement So, in an effort to make a positive change in my life, I just got my old job back (the interview was horrible (I thought) and has sent me into a major panic) and now I am VERY nervous about leaving my current job, and returning to my old one where I feel like there is already an expectation from some that I will screw up, and also pressure for me to do as good/better than I did when I was there before.
Sorry this is so long, but this is the first time I've been able to really sort out these feelings.
Anyway, I have the same fears as you do, but I think it has really helped me to talk about my feelings online, and also with my significant other/ few friends.
And, the new doctor I saw the other day told me to think AND write, "I will do well at this job", and other positive affirmations." I haven't done this yet, and this is only the second doctor I have seen, so I don't really know if this is good advice, or if it is just patronizing. But, maybe it is worth a try?
Also, I know that for me, my anticipation is always way worse than the the actual change/event. Also, my perceptions of how people will see me, and how they will perceive my performance,are much worse than how they actually perceive me (for example, I was absolutely certain I would not be rehired, but I was!) I am sure you are very capable, to have worked at the same job for 15 years. I know change is scary, and believe me, I am in the same boat. Perhaps we can keep encouraging each other?
--lostsockmonkey