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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I tried to find a good psychiatrist through online reviews or referrals, and basically, it seems like all the good ones don't accept my insurance. So I just went to a hospital's website and called them to schedule an appointment. At least then I'm not just picking any random name and seeing them on the basis of solely, "Hey, this name sounds intelligent."

So I go to my appointment today. I wasn't expecting to see a psychiatrist, and well, I didn't. A lady interviewed me, said that I may not see her again after this visit, but to tell her about myself and answer a few routine questions. As I figured would happen before I went in, all my problems of anxiety (both social and general) and depression came across as being because of something. Something treatable. Something that therapy can fix. I gave this impression all too easily because I can't help but rationalize things and try to find explanations. I can't talk about emotions very well. I can't explain myself what is wrong with me, I need some prodding to be able to find the words. But I know for certain that that therapy isn't my only solution. If it were, there's plenty enough information online that I've read throughout the years and could continue reading if I felt it doing anything to help me. I've talked to plenty of people, intelligent people, and their wisdom and advice is great and all but still doesn't help. They help me get through the day, and I've come to have to depend on them a lot for this... but there's no issue of a lack of support (like she suggested). If anything, I feel like I have better than most people. I write to-do lists, I set deadlines and schedules, I set small goals for myself, etc, and I only find myself getting worse. I'm spiraling down deep into a place that I can't handle being. I told her this. But I wanted to make it clear that I had no suicide plans because I didn't want to end up in a suit somewhere when I have class tonight.

So she tells me to go to this therapy group that meets on Wednesdays. Great, a group. That's a place I'll be comfortable. And it'll be full of bright, new ideas that will fix my life. "It won't help you much in the first two visits, of course, but it's a 24 week program that shows promising results to those who stick through it." But what could they possibly tell me that I don't already know? I'm all for therapy, sure, but it has to be personal one-on-one therapy and not some blanket suggestions. I know all the blanket suggestions. They don't help. Maybe they help, but they don't make life liveable. I'm at my breaking point and I'm being sent to a ****ing group?

So I don't know. What do I do here? I figure I'll go to the group anyway just to confirm that it's useless, and if it's not, then hey, I'm there... but obviously it's going to be. But is it even worth my time to see? Should I not be so quick to shun therapy? What should I do? I understand there's a flood of us who want to see someone, and a flood within that flood of people looking for certain drugs for other reasons, but I have a problem and I need help. I'm open to therapy, sure, but I feel like I need medication as well or it'll be completely useless to me...
 

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First of all, congratulations for making that appointment! You're already one step ahead of me. I've known about SA for a few years now and have yet to see a doctor! :(

Anyway, as a person who has never tried therapy, I know exactly how you feel about it. I too, think that it's mostly about learning and affirming things you already know logically (e.g. the world is not out to get you, people are too obsessed with themselves to notice you, etc).

There is a difference though. You'll be doing it with a group of people in the same boat as you. You'll have the opportunity to make new friends, learn different viewpoints and so forth. Many people with SA claim that this treatment helped them more than the medication did. Plus there are no nasty side effects to deal with.

Even though you probably feel the same as I do ("There's something wrong with me that talking about won't fix; I need meds!"), I recommend going to a couple of sessions just to see how it affects you. Who knows, maybe just a little mutual understanding was all you needed and not meds. If after a few sessions you feel there is little or no improvement, then tell your doctor that your anxiety is too severe to be treated with just therapy and that you'll need some medication in addition to the therapy.

Hope that helps! :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I had no problem getting to this step, it's just now I think I'm going to have problems continuing from this step because of its outcome. =\

I just have a hard time understanding why a group would be helpful. I don't care to make new friends or understand others' viewpoints, because I've already been there and done that online. And online it's so much easier to express your thoughts and feelings than it is in person. I've gotten to understand others in the same situation very well. I even made a friend in school who's being treated for GAD and various other things. And although I told the lady that my concern was for general anxiety, I think she could have picked up on the social aspect (through my mannerisms and answers to questions), so I'm a little confused as to why she would toss me into a group already.

I always thought the medication was to supplement the therapy so that the therapy could take some effect on you, and then to slowly stop the medication as therapy continues... but this is neither. Is this strategy wrong?

But I think all I'm really seeking is someone else who thinks it's worth a shot for me to go, so I appreciate the response!
 
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