When I found out a few years ago that social anxiety was the dark cloud that was destroying my life, that was a big moment for me. But just fairly recently I've found out something even BIGGER. I've found out that social anxiety is only a symptom of what is wrong with me (and most of you reading this). After reading the book "Healing The Shame That Binds You" by John Bradshaw, I come to realize that toxic shame is the true problem! I now know that toxic thame is the destructive force that has ruled - and ruined - my life.
I fully believe now that social anxiety (as well as many other emotional illnesses) is caused by toxic shame. Can I guarantee this in 100% of the cases? No, nobody can. However, I firmly believe that toxic shame is the culprit in the vast majority of the cases. Bradshaw says, "Toxic shame is the core of most forms of emotional illness." In his book he gives a quote from Gershen Kaufman, the author of the book "Shame". Here is the quote:
"Shame is the affect which is the source of many complex and disturbing inner states: depression, alienation, self-doubt, isolation, loneliness, paranoid and schizoid phenomena, compulsive disorders, splitting of the self, perfectionism, a deep sense of inferiority, inadequacy or failure, the so-called borderline conditions and disorders of narcissism."
Here is one more quote from Bradshaw's book. This is a quote from Bradshaw himself: "What I discovered was that shame as a healthy emotion can be transformed into shame as a state of being. As a state of being shame takes over one's whole identity. To have shame as an identity is to believe that one's being is flawed, that one is defective as a human being. Once shame is transformed into an identity, it becomes toxic and dehumanizing."
Everything I read in Bradshaw's book rang so true with me. Throughout his book, Bradshaw was describing my life and my inner thoughts, feelings, and emotions with regards to everything toxic shame was about. I've always known that I have identified with everything social anxiety encompassed; however, I think I identify with toxic shame even more. In fact, I now believe toxic shame is the cause of SA.
All the info about toxic shame is just too much to explain here. I suggest anyone with social anxiety or any other emotional illness to go buy the book.
After reading the book, I decided to condense it to leave out some of the fluff, to make it shorter and to make it easier to understand. I condensed the book to a summary of 20 document pages on a Microsoft Word document. I figured out that adds up to about 35 pages of the book. So basically I squeeze a 316 page book into 20 pages. However, even with this condensed version of the book, I will still go to the book to perform the exercises. The book explains the exercises better than I could have. For that reason, I didn't include all the exercises into the document that was in the book.
If anyone is interested in my document, email me and I will send you the 20 page document which summarizes the book. Even if you request my document, I still strongly urge you to get the book. It goes into much more detail and give more information than my condensed document can. The book also gives more detail about specific exercises to work on.
This document is totally free. I am not selling anything and I am not advertising anything. I am just trying to help those here, such as me, that have this awful condition. Please at least give it a look. It could possibly change your life.
I fully believe now that social anxiety (as well as many other emotional illnesses) is caused by toxic shame. Can I guarantee this in 100% of the cases? No, nobody can. However, I firmly believe that toxic shame is the culprit in the vast majority of the cases. Bradshaw says, "Toxic shame is the core of most forms of emotional illness." In his book he gives a quote from Gershen Kaufman, the author of the book "Shame". Here is the quote:
"Shame is the affect which is the source of many complex and disturbing inner states: depression, alienation, self-doubt, isolation, loneliness, paranoid and schizoid phenomena, compulsive disorders, splitting of the self, perfectionism, a deep sense of inferiority, inadequacy or failure, the so-called borderline conditions and disorders of narcissism."
Here is one more quote from Bradshaw's book. This is a quote from Bradshaw himself: "What I discovered was that shame as a healthy emotion can be transformed into shame as a state of being. As a state of being shame takes over one's whole identity. To have shame as an identity is to believe that one's being is flawed, that one is defective as a human being. Once shame is transformed into an identity, it becomes toxic and dehumanizing."
Everything I read in Bradshaw's book rang so true with me. Throughout his book, Bradshaw was describing my life and my inner thoughts, feelings, and emotions with regards to everything toxic shame was about. I've always known that I have identified with everything social anxiety encompassed; however, I think I identify with toxic shame even more. In fact, I now believe toxic shame is the cause of SA.
All the info about toxic shame is just too much to explain here. I suggest anyone with social anxiety or any other emotional illness to go buy the book.
After reading the book, I decided to condense it to leave out some of the fluff, to make it shorter and to make it easier to understand. I condensed the book to a summary of 20 document pages on a Microsoft Word document. I figured out that adds up to about 35 pages of the book. So basically I squeeze a 316 page book into 20 pages. However, even with this condensed version of the book, I will still go to the book to perform the exercises. The book explains the exercises better than I could have. For that reason, I didn't include all the exercises into the document that was in the book.
If anyone is interested in my document, email me and I will send you the 20 page document which summarizes the book. Even if you request my document, I still strongly urge you to get the book. It goes into much more detail and give more information than my condensed document can. The book also gives more detail about specific exercises to work on.
This document is totally free. I am not selling anything and I am not advertising anything. I am just trying to help those here, such as me, that have this awful condition. Please at least give it a look. It could possibly change your life.