I don't know what is worst, having friends and losing them or not having friends at all. I have always had an extremely hard time making friends. I've never quite had a large number of friends in the past. Aside from co-workers (which I never consider friends) I'm not much of a popular person that's for sure. About 5 years ago I started working at a place I really enjoyed. WIthin 5 months of being there I had 3 really great friends (one girl and 2 guys). We all worked together and wound even hang out together after work and on our days off. I enjoyed their company very much and I was so happy that for the first time in my life I had friends. Things were great for a while. The girl at one point even said I was like a sister to her. All of a sudden one of the guys stopped talking to me for no apparent reason, but he would still talk to the others. Then the other guy stopped hanging out with us and didn't say why. I only had the girl left and I became really attached to her. She was now my only friend and I was scared to be alone again. I began texting her day and night. I shared so much with her. Maybe too much. I alwyas wanted to know what she was doing and I just kept wanting to talk to her all the time. One day she said she couldn't be my friend anymore. Said I was expecting too much from her, that I was too clingy and needy, that the guys felt the same which is why they stopped talking to me. I felt horrible, humiliated and I shut down completely from that day on. I look back to those days and how I messed the friendships up. I am now too scared to have friends even though I long for them.