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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
My biggest crush ever is a really cute, shy girl with glasses, really nice and a unique outside the box sense of humor. Back in the day when we first met I had a good few weeks where my SA wasn't bothering me. I managed to ask her out with confidence, she said yes, but then instantly asked my age (I was 27, she 19) So she felt like thinking about it. She was nice about it but the next week I saw her told me she had too much on her mind,etc...

But she was nice about it. Unfortunately I think because she said yes I always thought that one day she'd come around, that part of her does like me. My SA got worse and worse around her whenever I saw her, I was trying too hard and also had no idea how to deal with my nerves back then .But at the same time for whatever reason she's always been that one girl. The only one I ever really wanted. So my struggles around her were an emotional time for me.

I've had her on facebook, but even though it's been a couple of years it hurts to see her pop up on there even in news feeds. So I deleted her as a friend, but just in case she'd notice and wondered why I told her the truth. How it hurt to see her on there because it reminded me how my nerves won out. And opened up a little about my SA. But that this was goodbye cause I've gotta let it go. She wrote back saying I at least deserved a response and offered for us to write each other.

So I said it'd be cool for seldom emails, like one a month. I wrote her a normal non flirtatious email about how things were, and nothing about SA, then a month and a half goes by and still nothing. There was a 'hey, I'll email you when I have more time to write you a proper one" in there, but another couple of weeks went by so I basically wrote her saying I never meant to put her in that kind of a spot. Where you want to reach out but also don't want to lead the person on. I was basically giving her an out if she wanted it. Ending with if you want to write friendly emails all good, if not no worries. A friendly "Hey how's life" message can be written whenev.

Nothing. It's like being open about something like this, even to a really nice person who's shy themselves got me ingored. I'm not irrational about it, wasn't expecting seldom emails to lead to anything, but that still stings a bit. Anyways, sorry for the long read. I'm just frustrated how being an open person is such a turn off or makes people run the other way. And my emails weren't going to talk about SA at all. I had never told anyone outside of 2 lifelong friends and fam and I guess I'll keep it that way. :sigh
 

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i think the age gap might of came into a bit, no offence at all since i know lots of people with similar or bigger age gaps (like my nan and grandad are 7 years apart).

But i probably have a really bad opinion on stuff like taht because i go to a all boys school and havent talked to a girl properly for like 4 years lol which is really sad really.

I dont officially have Sa but even if i did i wouldnt want anyone to know not even my mum but i guess she would find out anyway.

Also about the long post i do really long posts all the time that i get really carried away with.
 

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I've had people do this to me too. I tell people things and they freak out and never speak to me again.

Are you sure she doesn't just need another reminder? I forget to email people back all the time.
 

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I've had people do this to me too. I tell people things and they freak out and never speak to me again.
Pretty much my experience too, unless I got to know them REALLY well first. Even people who I know have SA or depression, if I tried to relate they avoided me. People seem to want to pretend mental problems are like a short term drug addiction, "I had some depression I had to deal with but I'm all good now!" Basically lying.
 

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BTW good for you for taking action. It might have not gone the way you planned, but you would regret not taking action more.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 · (Edited)
I've had people do this to me too. I tell people things and they freak out and never speak to me again.

Are you sure she doesn't just need another reminder? I forget to email people back all the time.
No, in between my first email and my last message she wrote that she hadn't forgotten and would get back to me when she had more time. But then two or three more weeks went by so I decided why torture myself. She's a really nice person, I'm just sensitive to the whole thing cause she's the one person I've struggled around the most when it comes to SA, while she's also the person I've liked the most. She acted like she was quite possibly interested shortly after saying no but that's when my SA really started to come out. I had a panic attack when she talked to me. Think that's why I always had trouble moving on. Felt like I was gonna finally date someone I really wanted to be with, and not just someone I'm comfortable with.
 
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