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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When you're left with nothing but your own mind 95% of the day, the world in your mind becomes your reality, making time stand still. The 5% of time fortunate enough to escape isolation, the time between those precious moments and experiences is non existent, making what happened 6 months ago seem like last weekend. You remember every detail, like you just said it, and wonder why the other person who was generous enough to hold your company for the day cant remember what you said that day.

At 38, My social anxiety had me in limbo pondering at age 28, still wondering what happened to so many missed opportunities, and no courage or knowledge to do anything about it aside of face planting a pillow every day and night.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
It's not that i dont care to go do things and be social. My closest friends know me as vibrant, outgoing and full of life in my comfort zones. Those zones usually draped with a security blanket of having the company of just 1 person that accepts you and knows how good you are.

The most crippling part about social anxieties is having to march through the day by yourself, which is when you are most prone to feeling vulnerable to the watchful eyes... Which is when the self talk in your mind starts --

"Why is that person looking at me? I'm just shopping, i'm not bothering anybody.. Does she think i'm wierd for buying deodorant? Perhaps she thinks i'm good looking, and wants to see how i move every body part when i walk or do something. But that means she is watching what i take off the shelf too, so maybe i'll come back in a few minutes to get this."

"Okay, she's gone, i can quickly snatch this before someone else sees me get it. Now to the self-checkout line... Oh no! The self-checkout lines are closed! And the other cashier lines have all female cashiers, and i have a lot of male personal care items to get scanned! I knew i shouldve waited until i looked gross to come in.. People dont take notice to me if i look terrible, i just become a blank. No one looks at me if i blend in and look average... They only look at me if I try to look decent and presentable... Dammit Chris, now you have to dump this stuff on a shelf and leave.. You'll have to come back at 2 a.m. When no one is here to buy that stuff.. What a waste of gas.."
 
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