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Forever in Fantasy
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my happiness ended at 14 and i can't find "what is next" in life.
please tell me what you lived for then and now.

0-7: my mom, baseball, my grandparents and aunts and uncles, skiing, super nintendo, christmas, birthdays, my dogs, the sun, the pool, playing barbies with my sisters, meeting new kids at the playground

8-13: pokemon.

14: crazy parties at my place, being goofy with friends, experimenting with sex and drugs, experimenting with part time jobs, being able to buy myself things for the first time

15-17: nothing. very confused period.

18: nothing. suicidal period.

19-21: boyfriend, moved 2000 miles away from family, work full time. recovered greatly from depression and suicidal thoughts, but still too afraid to do anything. i could never ever imagine life being as exciting as "0-7" again.
 

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Most of my life up until 16 ish is just a complete haze if I remember anything at all. I don't remember happiness. After that, I was living for the possibility of love. After I gave up on that, I don't know what I'm living for now. Probably because the suicide attempts were failures so I'm just surviving.
 

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This is a really good question. I don't know. I wish I had a passion or a goal to work towards but I really don't. I guess I focused on education but besides that I didn't have anything else really driving me.
 

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I live to help others feel better physically and spiritually. When I can put a smile on their face, it makes me feel a tad bit better that I'm not a **** up.
 

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Always living for later, for next year. The year all my problems will be solved, the year I have an epiphany and decide what I want to do in life, the year friends throw themselves at me and a boyfriend knocks on my door. Till then, I simply live.
 

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I really don't know.

I turned 20 years old over a month ago and I still don't know. I've been this way all my life. Ever since I was little I've been this way. I'm seriously confused about everything! This feeling of inadequacy is getting worse as time goes by.
 

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I live to help others feel better physically and spiritually. When I can put a smile on their face, it makes me feel a tad bit better that I'm not a **** up.
When I really think about it, this. This is all I'm capable of doing. I've tried fixing things, to make it better for me, but seems that my purpose is just to try to make others happy.
 

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I actually have more hope for the future than I did in my twentys. Silly at my age I know but maybe that means im getting better. I remember times in the past sitting for hours convincing myself to just give it one more day. Im glad I did. I still dont have much to live for in comparision to normal people but it is enough for me.
 

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I've never had a passion for life, unless if losing weight counts. It's the one thing i'm good at. Having control takes skill. That's my life aspiration & passion, since my personality is horrid.
 
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