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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just joined a few minutes ago... I suffer from so many mental disorders... I found this site, because I am going to start therapy again in a couple weeks... and there was a post about having too much anxiety to go to therapy....

i have gone, but my anxiety has stopped me from opening up and being completely honest... I am so embarrassed by things I have done, and the way I still think... And things I secretly do or feel...

I just joined, responded to a couple posts. This site is great in so many ways... I also love helping people, listening, and being a kind comforting friend... This site provides opportunities to do that which might make me feel really good to influence someone positively... I know when i have needed help, that I appreciate it so much! It makes me want to cry sometimes... and gives me strength and hope and good feelings... I also feel good when i do this for others... so, i think this site is wonderful...

also, i try to always be kind, but in the past when trying to seek help or advice anonymously online, i have had people say really really nasty, mean, and hurtful things to me... People can be so mean even when they don't know you... but i just read that personal attacks are not tolerated on this site... hopefully they don't occur and just get deleted, after the person has already seen them...

that is one of the reasons i am scared to talk... i am really sensitive to being attacked and fear it... i am also embarrassed that i have mental problems and can't keep myself from doing things i wish i didn't...

i have grown a lot in my life, but am still greatly affected by my "problems" I hope this site can help... If anyone knows of other good sites or has advice, please let me know...

also, when i start therapy up again... i am curious... can you get in trouble for telling the therapist about illegal things? such as drugs...

cuz i keep finding myself abusing substances.. i want to stop.. but i don't want to go to rehab or jail... And I don't want to have a written record of things i've done that i am ashamed of... i also get nervous about weight and have eating disorders that i don't admit to... I don't want anyone who knows me who i will see in real life to know... or it to be connected to my name.. like what celebrities deal with... i don't know how they can stand that... everyone knowing their mistakes.... i don't want anyone to know my secrets.. but i need help...

any advice? and is it safe to tell your therapist anything?

sorry this post is so long... if you made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read it :)
 

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Hi :)

I agree that people can be really mean, disappointing and hurtful but I hope you like it here and have a good experience. I'm not sure about substances because I am personally not taking any right now. Hope you find guidance on that.

Welcome to SAS!
 

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Hi and :wel scaredtogethelp. I think it's fairly safe telling your therapist secrets, but ONLY after you've established a good relationship with him/her that is based on trust.
If you don't like and/or trust your therapist, it's best to find another as soon as possible.
Believe me, my therapist is the only person in the world who knows everything about me, and I trust her explicitly.
 

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Welcome, ScaredToGetHelp! :)
 

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Glad to have you here! :wels
 

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Welcome to the site. People are usually pretty nice on this site. I wish you the best of luck.

I know what you mean about people finding out about things that are shameful. I can really identify with that. I don't do anything illegal but I am very worried about people's reactions to having chronic depression and taking medication for it. I feel like this contributes to the social anxiety.

As far as the therapist and getting in trouble. I know that typically everything is confidential unless you are a danger to yourself and others then they may have to hospitalize you against your will. The only thing I can see is that if you are severely anorexic or bulemic and it is life threatening, but then wouldn't you want them to help you, if it was at the point of being life threatening?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
thanks

i just wanted to thank you for taking the time to send me a personal reply...

yeah, i am embarrassed to have anxiety, depression, etc... wont list everything lol...

i feel like i'm flawed... but everyone is different and unique... some things we like and others we don't... i try to "accept" the way i am.. like they say to in therapy... but it can be hard sometimes...

i am super embarrassed about the illegal stuff now, because your the second person who said they have no advice for that, becasue they haven't done anything illegal... i feel different... like i'm extremely bad... like i've messed up really bad... ugh... but it might all be ok... i think i will just open up to my therapist and tell her how i feel about opening up, and if something awful happens... hopefully it will be a learning experience and i will grow... but i don't want to get really depressed and feel suicidal again... i would rather live with secrets and mental disorders than go to prison.... i am so scared of being punished...

i have always tried to be good and i don't know why i was drawn to drugs and harmful substances... and at such a young age! it's like my whole life i've been seeking pleasure.. maybe because i've always been depressed... i think anxiety and depreddion go together.. especially when you are nervous about being social or leaving home.. and then you get really depressed because you wish you weren't that way... that you could go out and live life and enjoy it and not feel uncomfortable or nervous... just to feel nothing would be nice... not even happiness... ugh... i hate negative feelings... i think i really need therapy and will just open up and hope for the best....

sorry for rambling... it was kinda like a mini therapy to vent in this email...

thanks for reading all my craziness and thank you for the sincere response...

:)
 

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Hey scaredtogethelp welcome. :hyper
 
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