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There was a girl that was checking me out and I just looked away, I don't care anymore, I just want to be happy the way I am and came to the conclusion. I don't care if I get a girlfriend anymore the more I think about it. Everyone is so promiscuous and not loyal and I'm simply not that kind of person, I just want to be with one person who enjoys the same things I do. I saw this "reality" show and this dude walked on his girlfriend getting it on with another dude. Something when I saw that triggered some painful memories and ever since then, I felt cool with the fact I don't want a girlfriend, but it's not really that cool at the same time. I don't know how to describe it.

I just became totally paranoid of women, that I feel like every woman is two-faced, even though it's not true, but I can't help to feel this way. I know this is going to sound incredibly superficial but I just have to get it off my chest. Everyday I see beautiful women with these guys who don't even look half as good as I do and here I am and I can't even talk to a woman!! If people think they're ugly, trust me, you have a better chance than I do. There's this expectation for good looking guys to know what they are doing, otherwise they think you are gay. So if you don't know what you are doing, you don't have a chance in hell.

I am just so lost right now, imprisoned by my fears and paranoia.
 

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I can relate except I feel the same way about guys. I don't even want a bf anymore and feel as though most guys can't be trusted. I'm pretty much paranoid and in fear as well.
 

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first, lots of people think im queer, i think its really funny and i like to promote the idea. second, women are often as scared and confused about the male as males are about the females. they are people first, humans first, and have all the emotions to go with it. And yea, women are two-faced, but so are guys most often. Dont focus on her genitals..focus on her. you're looking for a human to spend time with, get to know the person and try to forget shes a girl. its much easier when you think about it that way.
 
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