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Byebye SAS.
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I realized my brother thinks I am so abnormal, and they back talk about me often. My mother back talks with my bro, and I can always hear it, I think I have been through more pain than others. I didn't even ask for it. Please, help me out folks. Does this happen to you? Born with SA, and by default made fun of, it's not like I CHOOSE to deal with this ****. To be loveless / respectless / alone.

I feel like humanity has treated me terribly, and think that these people will judge me forever.

I am sad about it actually.... it doesn't make "coping with anxiety" any easier.
 

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close family members are the worst, cause when they hurt you or betray you, in tends to really hurt you the most, and could possibly leave you with trust issues. At least this is the case with myself.
 

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Byebye SAS.
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
close family members are the worst, cause when they hurt you or betray you, in tends to really hurt you the most, and could possibly leave you with trust issues. At least this is the case with myself.
I am left with trust issues. and I see these other normal people born without SA, and think "God is this what you wanted for me? Really?" but I don't know. No one has hurt me more than my mother has, which makes it soooooo much harder. She can't even comprehend the **** she said to me, one day I exploded out of no where (keep in my mind I'm her good child). I said "You are the worst to me, the very worst!" She starting crying, she and my brother don't even realize I AM NOT THEM.

It's harsh.

My bro hasn't has anxiety a day in his life, while me I mentally suffer with it every day..... he is always like "Just go out, make friends." Do this, do that.... yeah first off people are judging me horribly to begin with. He even tells me do change how I dress, to change everything.... I am not them.
 

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Living with society all boils down to usefulness. Hey! this person is funny and makes me laugh, or this person has a lot of friends or is real good with the opposite sex so I want to hang out with him or her. Or it may just boil down to money, drugs, crime. whatever! The point is most people in todays society are very superficial, while most people with S.A. tend not to be this way! because of this we are perceived as social outcasts, and ultimately we believe this way about ourselves. This is my view on it anyways.
 

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Byebye SAS.
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Living with society all boils down to usefulness. Hey! this person is funny and makes me laugh, or this person has a lot of friends or is real good with the opposite sex so I want to hang out with him or her. Or it may just boil down to money, drugs, crime. whatever! The point is most people in todays society are very superficial, while most people with S.A. tend not to be this way! because of this we are perceived as social outcasts, and ultimately we believe this way about ourselves. This is my view on it anyways.
true true.
 

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Byebye SAS.
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
That's the worst for me too. I get along well with my family and they're pretty nice people, but they can be extremely hurtful with their comments and don't even realize what they are saying. :|
same..... it makes you wonder how nice they really were.
 

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Byebye SAS.
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Do you have to live with them or can you move out?
I'm moving out in a year, I can't really take my mom anymore. She's just too unrealistic...
 

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Have you tried sitting down with your family and explaining yourself to them? It may be a bit awkward now considering how you blew up. But it could give them insight to how you work and what goes on in your head. Granted some people simply cannot comprehend how things like social anxiety works but it could be worth a shot. At the very least you asserted yourself and then you may find out where you stand with them.
 

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Perceptive Mind
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Have you tried sitting down with your family and explaining yourself to them? It may be a bit awkward now considering how you blew up. But it could give them insight to how you work and what goes on in your head. Granted some people simply cannot comprehend how things like social anxiety works but it could be worth a shot. At the very least you asserted yourself and then you may find out where you stand with them.
:agree with haggybear
 

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As great as my family is, I never seemed to have a loving bond with them. They do go through the motions of love and caring but to me it always feels like something isn't genuine. My family members are great people but very different. Even my own mother, with anxiety herself, I just can't seem to feel "at home" with any of them. They make me feel very alien and as if I belong somewhere else with different people.

I do get tired of being treated like a special case. I'm not sure how to explain it in few words, so I'll just say they want to live a typical boring life of going out to dinner and watching movies, ONLY. Neither one of those things are at the top of my list of exciting things to do in life. It's hard to form a relationship with anyone, including your own family, if you have nothing in common. As a teenager I never understood the clash between kids and their parents, but now it's slowly starting to creep up to the point where I think we'd all be better off, miles away from each other. Another big key element here is communication. If you can't seem to get things that are important to you to stick inside of their heads long-term, it can be nearly impossible to get along or at least for me it's that way.

My mom has been the absolute greatest person to the biggest betrayal in my life. We've had our fights and I think we've both said terrible things out of anger. In a way I do feel like we've ruined our relationship beyond repair. At this point, I'd like to be able to choose my family instead of pretending to be apart of the family I was born into. We need compatible people to where communication isn't such a daily struggle. I feel like the world's problems are 99% communication related with empathy being nowhere on the radar. At the very least, we need kindness from them.
 

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Byebye SAS.
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
As great as my family is, I never seemed to have a loving bond with them. They do go through the motions of love and caring but to me it always feels like something isn't genuine. My family members are great people but very different. Even my own mother, with anxiety herself, I just can't seem to feel "at home" with any of them. They make me feel very alien and as if I belong somewhere else with different people.

I do get tired of being treated like a special case. I'm not sure how to explain it in few words, so I'll just say they want to live a typical boring life of going out to dinner and watching movies, ONLY. Neither one of those things are at the top of my list of exciting things to do in life. It's hard to form a relationship with anyone, including your own family, if you have nothing in common. As a teenager I never understood the clash between kids and their parents, but now it's slowly starting to creep up to the point where I think we'd all be better off, miles away from each other. Another big key element here is communication. If you can't seem to get things that are important to you to stick inside of their heads long-term, it can be nearly impossible to get along or at least for me it's that way.

My mom has been the absolute greatest person to the biggest betrayal in my life. We've had our fights and I think we've both said terrible things out of anger. In a way I do feel like we've ruined our relationship beyond repair. At this point, I'd like to be able to choose my family instead of pretending to be apart of the family I was born into. We need compatible people to where communication isn't such a daily struggle. I feel like the world's problems are 99% communication related with empathy being nowhere on the radar. At the very least, we need kindness from them.
You think like me we got that in common, and our histories are similar!!! very insightful reply, in fact of one my more fave ones, that there was relateable.

You're sensible about that too, I agree.
 

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Byebye SAS.
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·

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Byebye SAS.
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I saw myself in your post, OP. Don't know what to do.
Atleast I'm not alone in this world then. I often feel like it.
 

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I'm actually in an odd situation with my family. My mom doesn't have social anxiety, but she's a quieter person and pretty understanding when I struggle because she can at least kind of understand a bit. My dad's actually a quiet person too, but he has no patience when my brother (who also struggles with social anxiety) or I have anxiety problems that prevent us from doing simple things. I actually think my parents personalities helped lead to my brother and I's problems. Like I said, neither of my parents have anxiety, but if given a choice between being social or staying home, they'll almost always choose the later, and we kind of grew up with that example. I've wondered for a long time if that led to my brother and I having so many problems.

On the other hand, my sister is this huge social butterfly and by far the most outgoing in our family. She gives me the most trouble. She's younger than me, but she goes into a sort of stereotypical older sibling mode when we're in public because she's just better at talking to people. Most of the time it's not a problem because that's just the way we've always operated. Other people who know our family and know that I'm actually older comment on it a lot though, and they'll make jokes about it. That probably is what gets to me the most. My sister's not typically trying to baby me or anything (although she sometimes gets annoyed and says something). She's just trying to help usually, and typically I appreciate it and will let her talk or whatever to strangers. It's usually others outside of my family who will make snide comments about how our family dynamics are unusual or whatever.
 
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