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Hello, I am dating a girl that seems smart, sensitive, etc however sometimes I feel there is no passion between us. There is no "I MUST HAVE YOU! NOW!" How important is this feeling for you in relationships? For myself I enjoy feeling as though I must have this person so strongly that it becomes a great motivator however in the circumstances I am in it seems difficult to find. Suggestions?
 

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Well first of all, how long have you two been dating?
Have you felt this intense emotion before with other girls?
How do you feel when you're intimate with her? Happy? Secure? Indifferent?
 

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alien monk
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how about accepting that relationships are different. discover what you enjoy about her and try not to bring these expectations into it. expectations will only cause you trouble.
 

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Pastry Case
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Good answer! ^ ^
 

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I agree with Andy. You seem to be allowing expectations derived from the exterior world decide the health of your relationship. The passion of which you speak can be a great thing, but typically only punctuates the early stages of any relationship. You shouldn't allow it to be the deciding factor when choosing a partner, as it won't last forever. Lust shouldn't be confused for love and real emotional connection. I suggest you ask yourself what it is you're really looking for from a relationship. I understand it can be hard to separate true individual wants from what you feel you should want. I've questioned the well-being of my own relationship for this very same reason. If you conclude that raw passion is an absolute necessity for you to be happy, then there's only really one option.

On a side note: your perception of a lack of passion mightn't even be an accurate interpretation of what's going on in your relationship. There are always a multitude of contributing factors to consider when attempting to discern the cause of any emotional state. You're a member of a forum dedicated to anxiety, which leads me to believe that fear may also be playing a role here. I may be wrong, but hopefully it's food for thought.
 
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