Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
(Is that not the worst, most annoying question?! Seriously! :))

Hey everyone! I'm a 31-year-old from Michigan, finally working on getting my lifelong anxiety under control. Happy to find the forum here to chat with other folks who actually get it.

For a bunch of boring reasons (wacky & isolating religious upbringing, untreated health issues with embarrassing physical effects from my preteens through early 20s, runaway perfectionism, etc.) I learned to be really self-sufficient and closed-off as a protective/defensive strategy early on. It's done a number on me as an adult. I always feel like there's so much "how to be a real person in the real world" stuff I never learned, and time keeps going faster and faster, with more and more passing me by. At last I'm ready to say "no more!" :high5
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Hello felina,

Has anyone ever asked you if you're mute? I used to get that one a lot. I'd say: "Yes" And they'd respond: "Really? You are?" Then I'd shake my head and they would look confused.

Your life sounds interesting. It sounds like the stuff of an artist's memoir. I don't even know if you are an artist; you just sound like you probably have interesting stories to tell and those kinds of people always seem to be artists of some kind.

I think this will be the last greeting I make for today. I feel like 4 is a good number.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
I always feel like there's so much "how to be a real person in the real world" stuff I never learned, and time keeps going faster and faster, with more and more passing me by. At last I'm ready to say "no more!" :high5
Absolutely! I feel like this a lot. My ten year high school reunion is next year. It's slightly terrifying because I feel like my former classmates are years ahead of me. Where were all the classes on how to be an adult and function in an adult world?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154,235 Posts
Felina,

I would ask them right back: "Why are you so LOUD?!?!?!?!" :lol

Welcome to SAS! :)
 

·
Farewell SAS
Joined
·
420 Posts
I just reply that I learned from when I was young, that if I had nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Hence why I am such a quiet fellow =]
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,019 Posts
Q: Why are you so quiet?

A: I'm not quiet; I'm silent. Read a dictionary, you c**t.
 

·
Reframer
Joined
·
20 Posts
Eventually for class superlatives i was voted the most quietest
This happened to me too! And it was so frustrating because I had so much to say but my anxiety was getting in the way. They were effectively labeling me as "quiet", as if nothing else about me mattered. As if my whole person = quiet :no And that is, in fact, not true, for me or you! Hence, I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting person! :D

Welcome to SAS, felina! I hope it helps! As the cliche quote goes, "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Congratulations on taking yours! :yes

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
Ugh I get that at times, sometimes I am just lost in thought and I get the other question "Whats wrong with you today? Cheer up it might never happen!" Arrrg! I am fine, I am just thinking!
 

·
Eternal Slack
Joined
·
3,195 Posts
(Is that not the worst, most annoying question?! Seriously! :))
Indeed, I get that from time to time...especially at work. I don't even think it's from fear or anxiety, I'm quiet because I only talk when I feel the need to. Which apparently isn't good enough, I suppose I should be pointlessly chit-chatting at work instead of working.

from Michigan
I'm sorry

At last I'm ready to say "no more!" :high5
Welcome to SAS, hopefully you achieve what you set out to do. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
50 Posts
Hi everyone. I'm glad to have found this site. I can definitely relate to what your saying I too am known as the quiet one. Sometimes I wish I could get over it and just be like everyone else, there are times when I can.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
222 Posts
Argh I hate it when I get asked this, I usually just say some sarcastic comment or stare at the person until they get uncomfortable and leave.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
I'm quiet because I only talk when I feel the need to. Which apparently isn't good enough, I suppose I should be pointlessly chit-chatting at work instead of working.

Wow, this sounds like me, lol. People around me at work were constantly blabbing. I'm not against the occasional chit chat but I gotta work. They just wouldn't shut up all day. Didn't help that I was surrounded by some heavy-duty extroverts. I talk when I have something to add that is interesting. And to Felina... I'm new too but welcome and good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Thanks for the big welcome, everyone!! It was fun secretly checking in on this thread from the office today...

Has anyone ever asked you if you're mute? I used to get that one a lot. I'd say: "Yes" And they'd respond: "Really? You are?" Then I'd shake my head and they would look confused.
Ha! Wow. Some people really have as much brains as they do tact, huh? Honestly I used to get the 'why are you so quiet' thing a lot in school, but not so much anymore. Although there is one obnoxious coworker (let's just call her...Regina George) who has interrupted entire work meetings to loudly say crap to me like 'wow, she can talk!', which floors me with how rude and unprofessional it is...but ahhhh those are tales for another thread!

Absolutely! I feel like this a lot. My ten year high school reunion is next year. It's slightly terrifying because I feel like my former classmates are years ahead of me. Where were all the classes on how to be an adult and function in an adult world?
I hear ya. Comparing myself to others never does me any good but it's hard to resist. I seriously need to stay off Facebook for the sake of my health!

Indeed, I get that from time to time...especially at work. I don't even think it's from fear or anxiety, I'm quiet because I only talk when I feel the need to. Which apparently isn't good enough, I suppose I should be pointlessly chit-chatting at work instead of working.
Yes, I'm just naturally kind of quiet and introverted. Not really one to enjoy chatting just to chat. I always feel like there's this pressure though to be part of these weird fake work conversations, where people act like they actually have serious emotional investments in every last inane thing about our jobs. That's where my anxiety comes in -- feeling like I'm not measuring up to some standard of 'chipper/bubbly office girl' -- moreso than being too scared to add my two cents about why the papers that used to go in this file now go in that file, and isn't it craaaazy?

And hey, no hating on Michigan!! ;)

They were effectively labeling me as "quiet", as if nothing else about me mattered. As if my whole person = quiet :no And that is, in fact, not true, for me or you! Hence, I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting person! :D
That 'quiet/shy' label! Sheesh. That's a powerful thing. It always gets thrown around like some kind of accusation or charge you have to deny, and never comes across as someone actually wanting to get to know you. Like people say it just to prop themselves up somehow. I really can't comprehend that thought process...let alone a school letting kids officially crown someone 'quietest'. Seriously?! That would have made me feel so embarrassed. I'm sorry you guys had to deal with that!

Sorry I can't reply to everyone, but I'm really glad to meet you all!
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Top