[Still Waters]

I've spent a lot of time trying to understand the roots of my SA.- Some of it I believe is genetic - but other aspects have come from incorrect thinking. Behaviours set into motion at an early age based on experiences and jumping to negative assumptions. I understand this incorrect thinking process is deeply ingrained but I always believed understanding much of where and how it began,would help a lot. I'm frustrated there seems to be so little connection between "getting" how much of it began and being able to alter anything. Anybody have thoughts on this?

 

[Atticus]

What you've described is exactly where I'm stuck. I feel like I know quite a bit about that mix of genetic and environmental facors that got me here, but I don't know how to consistently adapt. There's a piece missing. I'm looking for it.

 

[fridays child]

but I always believed understanding much of where and how it began,would help a lot.

I'm not sure if this is the same, but I often wonder how much time or effort to spend on where it began vs. just moving forward -as in, I know this problem exists, how or why doesn't matter, it's here & it's time to work on it.
But sometimes seems to me like trying to build a house on a cracked foundation.
Would I make better progress if I could find some of the "why" from my past and see it more plainly for what is was, and with a less distorted view?

 

[zookeeper]

I would say that finding out "why?" and looking at the the root causes may be a worthy long term goal, but identifying the problem doesn't necessarily bring us any closer to solving it. Learning how to get through the day seems like something more achievable. For me anyway.

 

[WineKitty]

What you've described is exactly where I'm stuck. I feel like I know quite a bit about that mix of genetic and environmental facors that got me here, but I don't know how to consistently adapt. There's a piece missing. I'm looking for it.

I know genetics have something to do with it. Environmental factors also play a part.

I have tried to deny this most of my life, somewhat successfully :troll, but never getting to the root of the problem.

There are so many things that I was brought up with that are NOT me. Racism, spirituality, emotions etc that I have managed to overcome and shake off. So why is SA something that stays with me? Why are these subtly learned behaviors still with me? That is the missing piece for me. I don't know why these things are still with me.

 

[livinginfear]

I've spent a lot of time trying to understand the roots of my SA.- Some of it I believe is genetic - but other aspects have come from incorrect thinking. Behaviours set into motion at an early age based on experiences and jumping to negative assumptions. I understand this incorrect thinking process is deeply ingrained but I always believed understanding much of where and how it began,would help a lot. I'm frustrated there seems to be so little connection between "getting" how much of it began and being able to alter anything. Anybody have thoughts on this?

I like to understand things, most of all myself, so it helps only in the sense that I understand myself better, and am more often able to forgive myself for my behaviors caused by SA. When I didn't understand, I was harsher with myself, and had more of that self-hatred that seems apparent in some with SA. I haven't been able to alter much either, but I'm more at peace with who I am, and at the end of the day when I'm not out in the world being a nervous wreck, I can be gentle with the scared kid in me just as I would be with any other scared kid. I'd like -- too much I think -- to be accepted by everyone, but I need to be accepted by myself. Understanding gave me that and though it's no cure, it's something.

 

[Micronian]

I've spent a lot of time trying to understand the roots of my SA.- Some of it I believe is genetic - but other aspects have come from incorrect thinking. Behaviours set into motion at an early age based on experiences and jumping to negative assumptions. I understand this incorrect thinking process is deeply ingrained but I always believed understanding much of where and how it began,would help a lot. I'm frustrated there seems to be so little connection between "getting" how much of it began and being able to alter anything. Anybody have thoughts on this?

I used to have such introspective thoughts myself, but oddly enough they went away immediately after I started taking medications. And I wouldn't want to have them again because It's no better than running around in circles.

The dilemma I seem to have now though is when I forget to take my meds. I become pretty negative/cynical of many things. I complain a lot to myself. And I wonder if that negative vibe is actually the real "me" and the medication just masks it with a fake personality. But, in the end, the meds help me enjoy life, be more helpful to others, and be kinder to others. and that most definitely wins out.

 

[Toad Licker]

I know my quiet side comes from my mom's family and I'm reasonably certain my SA is connected to my anxiety. I also know that there is much more to it than that as I'm the only one in my family (including my mom's side) that has SA. I guess I'm just one of the "Lucky" few that hit the SA lottery, just like the rest of you. :b

 

[Canadian Brotha]

I think truth remains a constant but in terms of ones life it's what you do with it that counts. In this way learning the roots of your SA is helpful if it allows for you to identify something that still resonates negatively on you daily and subsequently work on it despite the setbacks you know will occur. Find the motivation for this self help work I think is the rut many of us find ourselves in. We learn the roots but feel we haven't the strength to tackle them

 

[PlayerOffGames]

dont think so much

 

[Amocholes]

Knowing the cause of something will not fix the problem. It may help you to understand it but the problem will remain. Concentrate on how you would like to be and then work out what you can do to get to that point. Be willing to compromise on the little things and adapt your plan along the way. You may not reach your final goal but someday you may realize that where you are is a good place.

 

[GermanHermit]

Knowing the cause of something will not fix the problem. It may help you to understand it but the problem will remain. Concentrate on how you would like to be and then work out what you can do to get to that point. Be willing to compromise on the little things and adapt your plan along the way. You may not reach your final goal but someday you may realize that where you are is a good place.

Very good perception!

 

[Atticus]

Knowing the cause of something will not fix the problem. It may help you to understand it but the problem will remain. Concentrate on how you would like to be and then work out what you can do to get to that point. Be willing to compromise on the little things and adapt your plan along the way. You may not reach your final goal but someday you may realize that where you are is a good place.

Dfinitely a good perception, and great avitar