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Because it's kind of true. You don't see gorgeous model-esque women dating dorky looking IT guys. Not that I am implying that you are one or that you can't get who ever you were talking about in the story. "Leagues" in dating absolutely do exist but most people are too politically correct to acknowledge this. But your "friend" sounds kind of like a dick to me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yeah, my friends don't know that I have anxiety at all or anything. I'm just a regular guy, I'm not fat, but I'm not buff either. I'm definitely no IT guy either. The girl I'm talking about, I wouldn't say shes like model type gorgeous, I mean like..shes a normal girl too from what my friends tell me about her and shes really nice to everybody, shes one of those naturally gorgeous girls who doesnt need to wear makeup. I just don't want to be told by somebody that a particular person could never like somebody like me just to be dick and try and get me to feel that way. Sometimes I think if I just spoke out to people my life would be a whole lot easier, but then sometimes I think it's not always the best idea to do that.
 

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be like bro i thought you were my buddy why you gotta bring me down like that.
 

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Because it's kind of true. You don't see gorgeous model-esque women dating dorky looking IT guys. Not that I am implying that you are one or that you can't get who ever you were talking about in the story. "Leagues" in dating absolutely do exist but most people are too politically correct to acknowledge this. But your "friend" sounds kind of like a dick to me.
You be surprised....

It happens, either the girl is an inner geek herself under all that model-esque exterior or she finds dorky guys kinda cute. Some IT guys have it made and have some quirky confidence that women like.
 

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So what do you guys think, am I right in feeling angry over the fact that I shouldn't be told by others who is allowed to like me and whose not? I hope I'm not blowing this overboard as this isn't just about a single girl. It's about myself in general and people who think I'll give in and let them destroy me for free.
You're definitively right! It's a stupid phrase that makes huge assumptions about the girl's opinion and attitude. If you took this outlook in everything you're basically telling yourself you're not good enough for anything and why should you go through life feeling that way? you wouldn't get anywhere. I'd be angry too and you're right to not want to let people have power over you that way.
 

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Penguin
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To say someone is "out of your league" is just BS. I mean, I can see why people tend to think a beautiful girl will prefer a good looking guy over an average looking guy, but this kind of implies that A) The male saying it understands how the girl in question perceives human aesthetic and B) That the girl is shallow enough to be primarily interested in apperance first and other factors as only secondary concerns.

My girlfriend is like crazy-goodlooking, I am not, but she isn't really the type to be overly fussed over appearance. So aslong as someone isn't like, disgusting to look at, I think the whole "out of your league" crap is just that - crap. It may be true of some women, but as a generalisation it has no substance.
 

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Swedish Feminist
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The only time I dislike the term "out of my league" is when it's used to suggest that the most important quality a girl has to possess to be in the top league is good looks. So it's most of the time.

On a somewhat related note, I also dislike it when people say "lower your standards" as a way of saying "find someone [you think is] ugly." I think if you think someone is ugly you probably have no respect for her, and if you have no respect for someone you have no business dating her.
 

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nascentes morimur
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**** that guy, he's an ***hole, man. You can do better without him. As for leagues, I sort of believe in them, and they tend to restrict me when I think about which girl I would have a chance with, and who I wouldn't. My biggest problem I think is myself. I am the one who makes the self-deprecating comments and in a sense, I am building walls all around myself.

Why don't we get some women commenting here to teach us a little bit of female psychology?
 

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It almost sounds like he was being a **** for the purposes of sarcasm, or just to bust your balls. My potentially controversial, earth-shattering suggestion is that you don't get so worked up about it. If you think you can get her, then you don't have anything to worry about. If you don't think so, then either you need to improve yourself or he's right. Either way, being so sensitive is not going to help you.

That being said, if he really is a douche and you want to kick him to the curb, do so and don't worry about him telling everyone that you're gay or whatever. Who really cares what he says?
 

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Meek
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School age girls tend to be very conscious of what their friends think and this is largely what creates leagues. That Avril Lavigne song, basically.

When girls get older (in my experience college age) we stop caring what everyone else thinks and finally start treating people as individuals. Not saying this is true in all cases, some people stay shallow forever. But perhaps this girl you like is already at the stage where she's strong enough to look at guys for what they offer as individuals.

Also just because a girl is pretty, doesn't mean she'll have a superiority complex. Girls themselves don't necessarily rate looks as important in men - e.g. supernodels who can have their pick generally marry pretty unattractive businessmen.
 
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