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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When did you reasonably realize you'll never be "one of them"?

I know many people will claim that "being normal is overrated" or "being different is better," but my whole life all I want to do is to fit in. I don't care how superficial facebook or twitter is, if having one means having friends who at least know that I exist I'll gladly make an account. But now I know I'll never, ever have that. I'm already 25 and I don't have anyone I can add on facebook or follow on twitter. When I do have someone, I'm too embarrassed to have the person be the first one on my friends list. There's just something weird about being 25 and not having any old friends at all. Most people, even when they had no friends in high school, normally made up for it in college. I never did. :afr
 

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Do you have any family you can add to Facebook?

If anyone does question you about why you have a "lack of friends" on Facebook (which is a subjective judgement anyway), you could always just say you just started adding people (everyone has to go through that initial process) or you can say you are selective about who you add.

If I had a Facebook account I would keep a small and neat list of people on my friends list, simply out of being selective. I wouldn't be cowered into thinking that was weird.
 

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My msn account is like 5 people, and I only talk to 2 of them. A lot of people use these things just to stay in touch with certain people, not to make a million friends. Nothing to be embarrassed about really.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
If I had a Facebook account I would keep a small and neat list of people on my friends list, simply out of being selective. I wouldn't be cowered into thinking that was weird.
A small number of friends, fine. Zero to one friend? That's not you being selective, that's you not having anything to be selective about.

As for adding family members, there's 2 reasons I don't do that. One, it's pathetic to have only family as your facebook friends. Two, I've always put up a facade in front of my family, and for all they know I have tons of friends. I don't want to break the illusion for them, since they used to always worry about me not having any friends throughout high school.
 

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A small number of friends, fine. Zero to one friend? That's not you being selective, that's you not having anything to be selective about.
You can say your other friends don't have Facebook, IF anyone cares enough to say anything, or indeed think anything.

Surely you also have online friends and acquaintances who you could add? I see people from message boards adding each other on Facebook all the time.

As for adding family members, there's 2 reasons I don't do that. One, it's pathetic to have only family as your facebook friends. Two, I've always put up a facade in front of my family, and for all they know I have tons of friends.I don't want to break the illusion for them, since they used to always worry about me not having any friends throughout high school.
Unless you adjust your settings to keep yourself invisible on Facebook, surely they would be notified via some Facebook that you are on the website and would add you? I seem to recall things like name and university brought up suggestions for other people to add. You would be found and added eventually.

Plus there is nothing wrong with starting off your list with family and then slowing adding friends and acquaintances over time.

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If you look "pathetic" (not my word) on Facebook, then wouldn't it be just as bad offline too? You meet someone and start talking and they can almost immediately tell via your conversation just how social you really are. Following that logic, would it then not be impossible to even make any friends? You would be doomed to friendlessness.

Fortunately not all people are so negative, both online and offline. Despite your apparent lack of friends, there are people out there who would be more than happy to overlook that and increase your social network. You have to start somewhere, right? It might be hard, but you have to block out negative thoughts and just not care what other people think of you. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life, not them. You will be around way longer than anyone else in your life.
 

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I do have facebook but didn't use my real name. I have four friends. I met one while in Paris, two at uni, and one at a party. They think it's weird that I didn't use my real name so I am planning to change it to my real one. Not sure if this is possible though.
 

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i would start with family friends or family and i don't think it is 'pathetic' (not my word btw) to start with them. Start with one friend and then ask if they think there is anyone you would like in their account that you could add.
OR
if you still don't feel comfortable how about a shared account and so you will be introduced to new people at the same time and you can add their friends.

(If anyone did ask why they were the first or why you only had a few people; tell them you just started off and that you were the first person you thought of! it makes them feel good too. They might suggest some people or add some of their friends)

:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I don't mean to be rude, but did anyone read the part where I said...

I don't want to break the illusion for them, since they used to always worry about me not having any friends throughout high school.
...?
 

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1.) Don't give up, you'll make friends. :D

2.) Facebook is retarded. :p

3.) There are actually no words to convey how retarded Twitter is. It boggles the mind. :p

okay, all joking aside, go get facebook and add some bands and politicians and supermodels to your Facebook because

1.) Any friends you eventually add will see the cool things you like. Like Obama, or football or whatever (...can Twitter be added to facebook? are they mortal enemies?)

2.) Maybe you can make acquaintances from those groups that you add and you can add them. Friends of Obama, or The Non-Profit Group for the Obliteration of Twitter, or Teens Against Twitter, or Thirty-Somethings Say *** You Twitter for example. :p

3.) You could create a few accounts and add yourself! Viola! You have instant friends!

4.) You can ask people here to add you. I would offer, but I currently do not have ****book...eh I mean ****face...doh I mean Facebook.

5.) Now that you have Facebook, when someone asks you about it you can confidently give them your Facebook!

See??? Problem solved amigo.

Ya know, I never actually thought of adding fake accounts...I think I might get facebook.

(to all that love Facebook, I'm just teasing...it's a'ight...to all that love Twitter, I will duel you. Right NOW. Bring it.)
 

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First I have to admit I didn't read all the replies in this thread so I don't know if someone's already said this.

But you could do what I did.....I'm really (sadly lol) into this game on Facebook, called Pet Society and one way to get ahead is to have a lot of friends you can "visit". Well I went to the Pet Society forum and found a thread where people were looking for friends to add so they could get ahead in the game and posted my name.....and voila I now have about 165 "friends" and no one is the wiser ;) Before that my friend's list had about 70 people, which seemed very lame compared to everyone else's but now I'm right up there with everyone else lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I think we've all gone a little off track here. The real issue has more to do with "being 25 and still not fitting in" than with facebook. I mentioned facebook and twitter because those are part of the package, as in if you have friends and you live in the 21st century, a social networking website is just something you have whether you like it or not. I don't care much about adding random people to my facebook friends list, that's not the point. What I want is a small group of friends who care enough to leave messages on my facebook wall or whatever it is you call it.

Thanks for the replies, though.
 

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I think I understand what you're trying to say. I've always felt outside the normal social realm--kind of like everyone else got a copy of the memo "how to act around your peers and be liked by them" and I never did. That feeling of "I'll never be one of them" hit me early on in elementary school, when I realized that no one liked me enough to be my friend or even my temporary gym/lab/music/seesaw partner. It's still with me, unfortunately.:blank

I wish I could give you some advice. Going on facebook only serves to depress me at this point, since my very small group of friends and I don't really use social networking sites to keep in touch. I don't know how to fit in with people or be socially confident, I still haven't figured it out completely--but for what it's worth, I think the beginning of fitting in with others is being more secure and comfortable with oneself.

Also, for the record, I am going to graduate college without having made a single new friend, so you aren't alone. It's awful, in a way. Everyone tells you in high school that things will get better...not so much.
 

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I share your sentiments completely. I want nothing more than to be just like everyone else, not have any trouble forming relationships with others, but the more time progresses and I continue to live with this, the more I see how fundamentally different I am as a person than everyone else and am just left exasperated and depressed :/
 

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If you're worried about your friend count, then start befriending random people. Look for those people who have like 800 friends cause I'm sure they don't even know half of them.
 

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"Why So Serious?"
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Answering the title of the thread I will say that I came to this realization one time when I was smoking weed. Whenever I am high I realize things for how and what they are, and what they will most likely be. I started to think about my friend, and how he was getting high with me and that he will always get women have many friends and always have "insert word that starts with P and ends with Y here" just one call away. How he will always be able to get high, drink, have no ambitions in life, no nice job or anything and yet still be happy because of his looks, his game, his way of not giving a damn about the world. His carefree way of life.

I then started to think about myself and how socially inept I was. How I could not even imagine myself on one of those "classic" dates where you take out a girl to eat and then take them home and have a nice kiss goodnight. I could not imagine myself having a deep relationship with anyone, heck I realized I do not know how to even carry a relationship. I realized I would never be the type of guy who brings different girls home to mom and family through out time and then finally marries "the one". I realized I was kind of destined to be alone for the rest of my life.

My social status, physical status, mental status, economical status...everything. Everything was perfectly aligned for me to have it imprinted on my book of life that I would be "different".
 
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