The positive side of being single

I feel the same way most of the time. Perhaps it's just another excuse to avoid working towards the pursuit of a relationship, but there's definitely some truth to what you said.

I think it's specifically the children aspect that would make a relationship/marriage inevitably suffocating, though - at least for those of us with a certain personality type and mindset. In an alternate universe with me attractive and interesting enough to win over a decent-looking girl I'm reasonably compatible with, I can definitely envision scenarios in which the relationship could be a net positive impact on my life, even long-term (despite periods of monotony after the inevitable wearing off of the initial novelty). But once you throw in a young'in or two, forget about it. Even if I go through the rest of my life without a long-term relationship -- which I think is quite possible -- I'll certainly never envy those locked into marriages with children involved. To each his own, of course (I know any parent reading this is probably cringing already)... just not my thing.

I can understand what you're saying. I need my freedom to a certain extent. Well I need my space because I've always been single and don't have many friendships etc. so I'm so used to being by myself (well I live with my parents and dogs but I mostly don't talk to anyone) I think it would be so overwhelming to be with someone all the time. That said, my freedom is kind of useless to me. I feel I need it as I don't like any kind of pressure on me, but I don't do anything useful with my 'freedom'. I don't go anywhere or do anything because of my SA so I'd probably be better off with someone nice.

And mostly I just want to know what it's like to be in a relationship. I don't know if I could do the forever thing. The idea of marriage really does quite scare me. I'm a bit obsessed with weddings and marriage but in reality marriage is no picnic. But maybe the good times in a relationship would more than make up for the bad times and be better than a lifetime of aloneness.

So yeah I dunno. But of course being single is fine. There's nothing wrong with it if it's how you chose to be. Plenty of positives. And many people after years in a relationship, find themselves single again for whatever reason and they don't know how to cope alone. At least people who have been single for a while generally have a stronger sense of self. Unfortunately my sense of self is negative.

Its funny how nonsingle people can always find reasons too complain, ain't it.

Heck if I had to pay serious attention to the amount of times I hear people sayings like:
"man, i wish i could just leave my wife , and go party for the night.."
"my husband is such an idiot"
"man, dis woman is using all my money"
"why did I marry you in the first place ?"
etc. etc.

It makes being single sound like heaven , doesn't it ?

Well, I for one am tired of being single.

A few days ago, I finished doing a drawing. It ws a pretty good drawing. THen I said to myself, "now who am I going to share this with ?"

I think you get my drift...

Far too many people get themselves too quickly into something they don't really want. If they want to be able to go wherever they want whenever they want then why did they have kids? I never plan to have kids and I never plan to get married. However I find myself cleaning out half the dresser and drawers under the bathroom sink for Josh's stuff so I think my single life has ended. I told him if I ever want kids to just buy me another puppy. Yesterday he asks "so if it ever comes up what kind of puppy do you want?". The only thing we really have to plan around is his work and he can take vacation days off the morning he decides to so that's not much planning. Which is good cause we kinda suck at planning. Some night we'll probably just suddenly agree to take that trip out of country that we both said would be fun and then be gone next week. You don't have to get into a relationship with kids and being stuck not going anywhere.

A few days ago, I finished doing a drawing. It ws a pretty good drawing. THen I said to myself, "now who am I going to share this with ?"

Click to expand...

I've had plenty of those moments. I got lost in a nearby city that I should have known well enough not to get lost in and went wandering through some residential area where I found a very random pizza hut. I kept wishing I had someone with me to laugh about the situation and then stop at that pizza hut for supper but there was no one sitting next to me. A couple weeks ago Josh and I got lost in Chicago. We were actually having fun despite nearly everything being closed and both of us actually being sick and getting lost cause we were trying to find a 24 hr walgreens with cough drops. Being single had it's benefits like not having to share my space and clean out the bathroom cabinets or not having an alarm go off at 7 30 when I normally get up at 9 but even normally frustrating moments are more fun if you find someone that can laugh with you about it.