Could it have been Michael Jackson? It is common knowlege that he's shy but as more people come out of the woodwork and write about their experience or encounter with him I think Michael Jackson (who just happens to be one of the most successful artists of all time) had S.A. And as masculine or hypersexualized (crotch-grabbing, trusting) he is on stage many people have insinuated that he may have been asexual (as old Girl friend Brooke Shields puts it). He even said he never had friends growing up.
Writer Steven King wrote in the Entertainment Weekly tribute article
You'll also see Jackson's sadness and almost painful desire to please. Yes, I am strange, his eyes say, but I am doing the best I can, and I want to make you happy. Is that so bad? This is a sadness that's all too common in people who possess talent in amounts so great it has become a burden instead of a blessing. Despite being extraordinarily beautiful (although he had probably already begun the elective surgeries that would ruin those amazing looks), Jackson was painfully shy, and difficult (sometimes impossible) to talk to, but watching that old video still makes me happy…and no, that's not bad.
Legendary producer Quincy Jones has said about Mike:
"[Michael] was so shy he'd sit down and sing behind the couch with his back to me while I sat there with my hands over my eyes with the lights off," Jones writes.
hahaha sounds like something I would do! and they've spent so much time together recording.
I don't think Mike became shy and reclusive because of his enormous fame. Pop Critic Robert Hillburn knew Michael when he was 11. He writes:
Michael struck me as one of the most fragile and lonely people I've ever met. His heart may have finally stopped beating Thursday afternoon, but it had been broken long ago.
During weekends I spent with him on the road during the Jacksons' "Victory" tour in 1984, I learned that he was so traumatized by events during his late teens -- notably the rejection by fans who missed the "little" Michael of the Jackson 5 days -- that he relied desperately on fame to protect him from further pain. In the end, that overriding need for celebrity was at the root of his tragedy.
I first met Michael in the early days of the Jackson 5 at the family home in Los Angeles, and the memory that stands out is that Michael, as cute and wide-eyed as an 11-year-old could be, was eager to get through the interview so he could watch cartoons before having to go to bed.
When I caught up with him a decade later, his personality had changed radically. That happy-go-lucky kid was nowhere to be found.
Michael's sales had fallen off dramatically in the mid-1970s, and by the time he reemerged with the hit "Off the Wall" album in 1979, he was scarred emotionally. There's often a gap between a performer's public and private sides, but rarely was it as noticeable as with Michael.
Sitting at the rear of the tour bus after a triumphant concert in St. Louis in 1981, Michael was anxious, frequently bowing his head as he whispered answers to my questions. In contrast to the charismatic, strutting figure on stage, he wrestled with a Bambi-like shyness. Despite the resurgence in his popularity, he complained of feeling alone -- almost abandoned. He was 23.
When I asked why he didn't live on his own like his brothers, rather than at his parents' house, he said, "Oh, no, I think I'd die on my own. I'd be so lonely. Even at home, I'm lonely. I sit in my room and sometimes cry. It is so hard to make friends, and there are some things you can't talk to your parents or family about. I sometimes walk around the neighborhood at night, just hoping to find someone to talk to. But I just end up coming home."
That's as far as Michael could go that night to explain his deep-rooted anguish. It would be four more years before he was willing to tell me more.
He used to keep mannequins around his house to keep him company:
I suffered a lot. I knew that something was wrong with me at that time. But I needed someone... that's probably why I had the mannequins. I would say because I felt I needed peopel, someone, I didn't have... I was too shy to be around real people. I didn't talk to them. it wasn't like old ladies tlaking to palnts but I always thought I wnted to make me feel like I had company. they make me feel like I am in a room with people.
During our time together, my conversations with Michael sometimes led -- once the tape recorder was off -- to darker moments from his past. One night when we were going through a stack of old photos, a picture of him in his late teens triggered a sudden openness.
"Ohh, that's horrible," he said, recoiling from the picture.
Michael explained that his face was so covered with acne and his nose so large at that time that visitors to the family home in Encino sometimes wouldn't recognize him. "They would come up, look me straight in the eye and ask if I knew where that 'cute little Michael' was." It was as if the "whole world was saying, 'How dare you grow up on us.' "
Michael said he started looking down at the floor when people approached or would stay in his room when visitors came to the house.
Michael vowed to do whatever it took to make people "love me again." The rejection fueled his ambition to be the biggest pop star in the world and to try to make his face beautiful. Unfortunately, Michael's need was so great that no amount of love seemed to be enough.
The stage was his sanctuary. There, he was larger than life and no one could threaten him. Every time he left the stage, he said, he felt vulnerable again.