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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
so I am going to stop making the effort. Pretty sure I'm going to stop reaching out and just do everything on my own for a while.
I am cutting them out and starting over.
 

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Get back up, learn from your experience and try again :). Maybe if you tell us specifically how you get rejected we could help :stu
 

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SASsy
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Rejection is a part of life for everyone, we SAers just react to it stronger.
 

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Herp Derp
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That's the story of my life. I sit here, talk to people almost everywhere, etc, and even though people seem to like me, they never want anything to do with me
 

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I have to feed my dog
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keep getting rejected until you get used to it. after that, it's easy.

or just give up and be lonely forever.
 

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Learning
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so I am going to stop making the effort. Pretty sure I'm going to stop reaching out and just do everything on my own for a while.
I am cutting them out and starting over.
A while ago I was reading a book (forget but could probably find it), where the author told a story of his really bad childhood stuttering problem. He couldn't say anything stutter-free, no matter how hard he tried to keep calm. One day he had missed the school bus and was without a ride home. Thinking of ways to get home he formulated a plan to go to a city bus stop and attempt to board even though he had no money, because the driver would surely feel sorry for a stuttering stranded child. As I'm sure you've guessed by now, when the bus finally came and he tried to show how helpless and dire his situation was, he didn't stutter!

So what happened? The author then went on to speak about "paradoxical intention" and how it was not until many years later that he was able to understand what happened that day (he is now involved with counseling).

I read this quite a while ago and I don't recall the book having a major impression on me, but I credit that story for sparking a idea I had one day that was to stop trying to impress people.

I realize "stop trying to impress people" can be interpreted a number of ways, but in my case (someone with SA) it was a interesting/helpful thing to try out. It didn't cure me but I think it was beneficial in ways, even if just for the constant reminder that there is really no need to worry over such trivialities. People will think/believe whatever they want, and sometimes that means they won't like you even when you're a likeable person. If this continues to happen time and time again (which it sounds like from the OP), you can defiantly get discouraged. At least if you "stop making the effort" as you say, hopefully that will cause some pressure to dissolve.

Now when I interact with people I'm not trying to impress anyone, I just do what I do and be happy about it.

Good luck, I hope this works better for you
 

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If they are rejecting you for being yourself, then they are just missing out. If you believe yourself to be a good person (and you do, right?) then everything you stand for is correct. If you stand by that, and someone still rejected you, then it was for the best. If they don't like the true you, then chances are you wouldn't have liked them. Don't worry about it: there are and will be people out there that like you as you are. You don't need to worry about "measuring up" to anyone's standards.
 

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Rejection is a part of life for everyone, we SAers just react to it stronger.
I don't know I'm pretty good with rejection. Although my SA is pretty weak so maybe I don't count. To the OP: getting rejected from them means they were never good enough for you and you never really wanted to be friends with them anyway. They're the ones missing out right?;)
 

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......
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I know what ya mean. It's so hard when you keep trying and you know it's not gonna make the grade. Some days i wish there was a cure:(
 

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I know how you feel and what you're talking about. I lived in a city or town rather where people were just "against me". I tried so hard to be friends and was just never included. I got to the point where I thought something was wrong with ME. I don't think that's the case now. We have moved to a different state and people here are so nice. I have not had a chance yet to make friends to do things with but just joining the local gym.... everyone talks to me and has welcomed me with open arms.
I'm just so glad to be away from the other state!
 
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