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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a 17 year old male, and I have Social Anxiety.

I don't really know what else to say other than it completely controls my life. I can't even carry out normal tasks, because I'm completely terrified of what people will think of me, or I will make a fool of myself. I'm so socially awkward it's pathetic. When I work up the courage to speak in a conversation that has several people in it I make a complete, and total fool of myself. I can't even order anything from a fast food place...Isn't it sad?

I'm single, and I think it's because I'm the most unattractive, and unlikable person in the world. When I look at myself in the mirror I think about how people must think, "Wow, he's so hideous!" when they see me.

I become very obsessive over things to where it completely controls my everything I do, everything I think about, everything I talk about to people, etc. Then suddenly, I'll be depressed, then the obsession is over. It's always this strange cycle. (It really doesn't make alot of sense, I know, but It's something even my parents notice, and try to talk to me about it.)

I was always bullied in Middle school. Kids would call me names, and **** with me. Perhaps that's where my social anxiety comes from. Being bullied all day for 4 years of my life.

I've never been, "Normal". I've always had strange interests in certain things. I don't have many things in common with people. So that doesn't exactly help my conversing skills.


The worse part is, I have to go to college soon. I can't live like this in college. I refuse to live like this anymore, but what is there to do?
As far as I know. Nothing.

This forum is my last resort.
 

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Your Assumptions
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If you are going to college soon, it's probably a good idea to seek advice on the SA before you go. Also, if you inform your college, you might be able to obtain some supports and accommodations that could make your time there much more manageable. If they have a website, check out what their policies are on such matters. This is especially important if you are going to be leaving home.
 

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breaking free
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Still Running
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I would agree that you should reach out to officials at the school, don’t think that there are not people out there to help. See your doctor about medication as well; tell them about the added stress of starting school and if you’re leaving home too. You absolutely must write things down now, before seeing the doctor or calling the school and seeing someone at there. Tell them exactly what is going on so that there aren’t any misunderstandings. Most of all realize in yourself that the last resort is not up to you, there is a reason and an end to all of our madness, but we do not have control of that part of life. We all must keep trying to get through one day at a time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I would agree that you should reach out to officials at the school, don't think that there are not people out there to help. See your doctor about medication as well; tell them about the added stress of starting school and if you're leaving home too. You absolutely must write things down now, before seeing the doctor or calling the school and seeing someone at there. Tell them exactly what is going on so that there aren't any misunderstandings. Most of all realize in yourself that the last resort is not up to you, there is a reason and an end to all of our madness, but we do not have control of that part of life. We all must keep trying to get through one day at a time.
What exactly do you mean by, "You must write things down"?
 

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nm jc
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I'm your age. I too have SA. Felt all you felt. Dont worry man there is hope. Couldnt order fast food either.

Have you tried any meds?

Noticed your canadian, where are you from?
 

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I find your situation remarkably similar to my own. I am 18 and have crippling social anxiety - I can't use public transport, often can't even go in to shops, can't answer the phone or the door, have no friends...the usual "severe SA" story.

I am in a similar predicament to yourself in that I have to go to university soon (technically my course starts on the 1st of September, but I might not have to move out until slightly after that) yet am in no way prepared for this.

I also have the same depressive episodes, which almost mercifully put an end to my otherwise overwhelming desires to conform with normal people.

Furthermore, I was also constantly bullied throughout my school years - I was bullied out of 1 primary school, bullied even worse at the second, bullied constantly at secondary school to the point where I made 2 suicide attempts between the ages of 12-15...school was not fun, and I had no friends in sixthform either (though there is no US/Canadian equivalent of that, so a definition is difficult).

Being dyspraxic (and hypothesised by some to be on the autism spectrum) I have never been normal either. I do not share the interests, aspirations and desires of most people.

Beyond this, there is not much of benefit I can say, I just felt it might help a little to know there are others who experience strikingly similar situations. Myself I am desperately trying to work myself up to seeing a GP before I need to move out, in the hope I can get prescribed some anti-anxiety meds...and get lucky in terms of them working decently well with minimal side-effects (which I am well aware is a pretty vain hope, but I have little other choice).

I suggest you attempt to see a doctor yourself, depending on the type of anxiety you suffer and various other factors, there are types of both therapy and medication which could potentially offer relief - so there is hope beyond the catharsis of frequenting this forum.
 

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I had all the same problems when i was your age, actually i found out what my problem was later. This is probably good you know now than after you go through even more drama. I blame school for most of my SA too.
 

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These "strange interests" sound quite alluring! Hah. "Normal" is overrated anyway. But anywhoo...without trying to reiterate what everyone else has said, I was definitely scared of starting college. I always thought that when I left home, everything would be better. But alas, I was still anxious about everything. I was so sick of feeling this way, and I felt like I was in a complete rut that I finally decided that I needed help. I sought help from my college counseling center, and it has definitely helped me in more ways than one. However, not everyone thinks that that would help. I would recommend it only because I have now realized that the support system that I've developed has really helped me through some tough times.
 

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Day Of The Dead
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Forget the people who made fun of you. They are very immature. I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences, and it's like triple the pain when you have SA to go along with it. Just try to hang in there, we're all trying to take small steps to fix it. Hope to see you more around the boards.
 

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Still Running
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What exactly do you mean by, "You must write things down"?
This is something I learned in day treatment for depression years ago;
Write down everything that you go through when you see your doctor. You don't have to tell them at school everything that is going on, but your doctor will need to know everything to perscribe the best medication for you. The Doctors don't allways take time with each patient to get to know them, so having your daily problems with the SA writen down form (lets say a week) before your doctor visit will help you remember everything you are concerned with. Hope this helps
 

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I'm in the same boat. I am so worried about going to college with SA, that I"ve already restricted my options to ones that are within an hour or so of my house so I can commute. I'm finding that the more effort I put into social situations, the more I get out of them. It's still hard to go to the grocery store, dr's office, etc, but it gets a little easier each time. My real problem is interpersonal relationships (romantic OR platonic). I'm also afraid I'll never have a relationship and end up alone. I'm volunteering at the local hospital -- I start in about a week and I have no idea what I'll be expected to do, but the volunteer handbook actually says "be aggresively friendly" (so that obviously makes me more than a little anxious)! My dream is to become a doctor, but I'm so scared that I won't be able to handle the social and academic pressure, long hours, and most of all, all of the people who yell at you when you do something less than perfect. Well, I guess this was kind of a rant, but I just wanted to let you know I'm in a similar situation. The only thing that really helps me is "exposure therapy" -- putting myself in those situations (and Xanax of course:).
 
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