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A friend recommended this book to me about a year ago and I was amazed once I started reading. It deals with social anxiety in a way, but from a completely different, more positive angle. It has helped me figure out alot about why I am the way I am. It emphasizes NOT feeling wierd about being the way you are, and accepting yourself by bringing up the positive qualities of this "disorder" instead of trying to change the way you are to conform to society. A must read for any person dealing with anxiety disorder. The author is Elain N. Aron

the quote on the front cover---> "How to thrive when the world overwhelms you"
 

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I read this book a few years ago and I found it totally amazing. When I got it, I wasn't sure if it applied to me, but I took the self-test in the front and answered yes to about 22 of 27 questions, so I'm thinking it does.

It explained a lot. I wonder if HSPs are more prone to SA because we pick up on so much non-verbal stuff from other people.?
 

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Lunachik said:
It explained a lot. I wonder if HSPs are more prone to SA because we pick up on so much non-verbal stuff from other people.?
:agree 100% like we pick up on the subtleties of everything b/c of our increased sensitivity, and don't know how to handle all this excess information that non HSPs are blissfully ignorant to?
 

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Exactly. We are overwhelmed by what other people just breeze by without a second thought. We see more into things than most people, and tend to over-analyze everything, so we are easily exhausted (mentally and emotionally) and need some time alone to collect our thoughts and regroup. We are thinkers. I only bought the book because someone told me I'd get alot out of it. And after reading the back, then taking the quiz, I knew it was the book for me.
 

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Azonic said:
. It emphasizes NOT feeling wierd about being the way you are, and accepting yourself by bringing up the positive qualities of this "disorder" instead of trying to change the way you are to conform to society. ]

:agree

Being highly sensitive make is uncomfortable to be around people too much, thus SA
 

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The Highly Sensitive Person book changed my life. Through out the entire book I kept thinking "this is me". It really gave voice to a lot of my frustrations.

For example, I really enjoyed the part about how sensitive people have a hard time in social settings. I constantly find myself picking up on little subtle cues from other people. Sometimes it feelsl like input overload. Oh, to be blissfully unaware!!
 

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this is the book i need

i've read so many books i can't even remember them all. i was just thinking that there must be a positive reason that people have sa and how could i utilize all my positive qualities instead of trying to fight them.

What kind of career do you think is utilizes the positive traits of people with SA?
???
:idea
 

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I wish I knew! I've been thinking about that alot too lately, but my job's not that bad for now. I work in a department store, but I'm behind the scenes in the warehouse. I fix bicycles and maintain the stock room basically. I dont have to interact with customers all day, except ones that specifically need to talk to the bike mechanic. So I just play my own music, work at my own pace, and I'm one of the few that dont have to wear the store uniform all the time, so thats kinda cool too. I dont want to be there forever, its not much of a career, but it suits me just fine for now. :stu
 

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that's so funny..I just bought this book too because i saw it in the bookstore and just had to get it. It looks great so far and I really like how it is written by someone who has experienced it..and put things in a positive light. I would DEFINITELY recoment this book...im not done yet but ill let you know when i am.
 

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I just read a little bit of this book at the bookstore and it makes a lot of sense to me. The labels "social anxiety," "shyness," and "anti-social" never quite fit me perfectly, but HSP seems to be a lot more accurate. I do get overwhelmed. This book helped me understand the way I am. It also shed some light on why I am struggling and how I can change the world around me to make it easier for me to live. I'm going to stop going against the grain. I just realized my current job and my last job are extremely sense-provoking overwhelming atmospheres which is causing my anxiety to really kick in....I should play to my strengths more so that I can succeed.
 

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Azonic said:
Exactly. We are overwhelmed by what other people just breeze by without a second thought. We see more into things than most people, and tend to over-analyze everything, so we are easily exhausted (mentally and emotionally) and need some time alone to collect our thoughts and regroup. We are thinkers.
:agree
OH MY GOD! my senitments exactly. Nobody could have verbalized my thoughts better. I never thought anyone felt exhausted like I do all the time.
 

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woh.

okay i'm new here and the HSP description didn't quite sink in until now, as i happen to be looking for a book, but what you folks are saying rings such truth in me.....i know i'm sa and ga and ocd, but the main trigger for it is overwhelm, and it's because i'm soo sensitive to subtle stuff that just doesn't phase most people.

so this is a condition, eh? i'm almost excited to realize it, and to know that others experience things more like i do (please accept that with due empathy.) maybe i need to check out more threads on the topic once i've had some sleep (meantime your recommendations are welcome!) i'll order the book too..
 

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I highly recommend Elaine Aron's book-- it helped me understand a whole lot about myself, and without "pathologizing" myself to death. Being Highly Sensitive is not a "condition" in the sense that you can treat it and get rid of it, but with a healthy dose of self-awareness, life does get a whole lot better. One of the weird things I have learned is that I am more or less "selectively" anxious-- it's a behavior pattern, not people "in general" that triggers the anxiety. I can be around soft-spoken empathic and sensitive people in numbers, and have NO problem. But aggressive, loud, in-your-face people set me off, right away.

For those who asked, the original book doesn't have that much practical advice, so I'd recommend getting the workbook, as well.
 

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Awesome book. I just read it cover to cover. At first I wasn't entirely sure if I fit the definition, because somethings listed don't really match me, yet as I got further into the book, I found it hit close to home.

I thought the concept was pretty well summed up by:

Fact 1: Everyone, Highly Sensitive Person or not, feels best when neither too bored nor too aroused.

Fact 2: People differ considerably in how much their nervous system is aroused in the same situation, under the same stimulation.

The author goes on to mention about 15-20% of the population is what she defines as a highly sensitive person, which is an inherited trait,

In the context of SA, the book mentions that HSP doesn't automatically make a person shy, but it depends on their experiences. Since HSP are more easily aroused, they can become shy, but they weren't born shy, just sensitive.

The book also discusses how sensitivity is undervalued in most western cultures and goes on to discuss what is so benificial about it. I found this part of the book very validating.
 

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HSP

Yes, it's a good book, although I still find it difficult to get that positive attitude toward something which in this society isn't so good.
And exhaustion is one of the biggest problems I have. I have no much energy, and get easily overwhelmed by what I experience.
Then I need to withdraw from people. But I'm not really a loner. I need the company from other people. I'm often torn between the desire between being alone and being with people. That's also what makes it so hard to find a good job.
 

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Azonic said:
Exactly. We are overwhelmed by what other people just breeze by without a second thought. We see more into things than most people, and tend to over-analyze everything, so we are easily exhausted (mentally and emotionally) and need some time alone to collect our thoughts and regroup. We are thinkers.
Wow. This sounds perfect for me. I will have to look for it. :thanks
 
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