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I'm a Spartan.
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680 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The Goal's Of Rambo(w) Also Known As Wolf Season.

Ok I have a new goal to overcome SA (my old goal haven't fully worked since I'm switching my style now). It involves a lot of reading, studying and inner working to overcome toxic shame. My goal is inspired by Lifetimer's (a member of them this forum) plan to overcome SA. It isn't the EXACT same plan he posted but it is the same method he suggested to use. I will be reading, listening or/and watching:

"On Family A New Way Of Creating Solid Self-Esteem" By John Bradshaw. DVD

"Homecoming" By John Bradshaw. Audio (I have both, I haven't picked one yet)

"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover. The book.

"Feeling Bad About Yourself" by Marian Mills (it's a free ebook)

"You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay. Audio

"Shame - The 'S' Word - A Guide For Practioners" by Bennie Naude. Article

"Shame" by Jan Luckingham Fable. Article.

I will also be taking now notes and studying it. In my note taking, I will only take down notes that relate to MY toxic shame. I believe it was taught by my family. Since my mother, uncle, grandma both have TS with SA tendencies.

In my journey, I will be posting anything I learned about myself, my reading and any activities I have to do to overcome toxic shame.

I have start "On Family" By Bradshaw already. I will be posting some of the info soon.
 

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I'm a Spartan.
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680 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
2nd

From "On Family…" by Bradshaw it has 10 parts. I have watch 8 of out of 10. It basically talks about how family create toxic shame (in the video he didn't call it toxic shame. I guess he create the tapes before he create the term toxic shame.) and how to heal it.

What I got from it was different features related to me. One of them was emotional abuse. Bradshaw consider emotional abuse when your feelings are being violated. An example would be a child feeling anger about something and the father say "Don't be anger!! Stop it etc." When the father constantly does that, you lose your power to feel anger. So you would replace it with a different feeling.

Another element was physical abuse. I think I was in denial about this. Probably because I just follow what my parents view and style about it . Their style was normally ignored it and acted like it didn't happen. They acted in a way like it wasn't a problem. I guess since my feelings have been violated I always hid my TRUE feelings about it.

Yea something is puzzling me; did I get beaten after I was in kindergarten? Because I think my SA started before entering school. If not then I don't think the beaten was the source. I think it probably just worsen it. I don't know.
I'm not fully sure what it is. I think this is going to be a long investigate.
 

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All Kinds of Awesome
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Sounds like a pretty serious course-load man. You are Rambow!

With my initial work, i read a lot too, but eventually, I found just putting myself in situations to be ultimately more helpful. It's easy to almost over intellectualize things rather than to take any action. Try not to fall into that trap. Basically, make sure you're coupling these new thoughts with new actions as well.
 

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I'm a Spartan.
Joined
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680 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Sounds like a pretty serious course-load man. You are Rambow!

With my initial work, i read a lot too, but eventually, I found just putting myself in situations to be ultimately more helpful. It's easy to almost over intellectualize things rather than to take any action. Try not to fall into that trap. Basically, make sure you're coupling these new thoughts with new actions as well.
I understand what you saying. I dont have any trouble with acting it out. I have acted out ALOT WAY WAY back in a couple of months ago. But that was when I was on the CBT (overcoming SA step by step). Right now, as u see im on a different method. And I got the method from a member on this forum who did this work. He said I have to do INNER work before doing the EXTERNAL work. Or I can do BOTH... im kinda doing both. U know?

Also, I have a different thread. I create two of this thread. I post on the other more than this one. So, if you want to read more about it just click the 2nd link in my sig.
 
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