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Fallen angel
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
SO anyone here that grew up in their town during their experiences of SAD, lose almost all their friends?. I had to drop out of high school because I kept sleeping in and was so behind in school work... which was the cause of my development of social anxiety (isolation). I went back to high school when I wasn't ready as a completely different person than what my friends normally knew me as... bad idea, now I've lost most of them, anyone have a similar situation?.
 

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Fallen angel
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
All i can do is ignore, if they talk to me... then your home free. They just don't know our condition, if you say hi to them and you know they dislike you because they notice you are different and dont want anything to do with you, bad idea to even say hi.. but.... damnit... owell
 

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I've always had friends throughout school. It wasn't till I graduated high school
that I started losing most of my friends. Now I just have acquaintances. It
was my fault though because I would always turn down invites to parties or even just
to hang out (damn social anxiety :|). I guess they just got tired of asking.
 

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I had a decent amount of friends in high school (though it didn't feel that way then) and then a handful my freshman year in college. The ones in high school I lost touch with once we graduated. The ones in college I had a falling out with....I was in such a bad phase of my life that I was terrible to be around. So I lost the first friends I made while I was there and then was never able to make more. Those old friends would try to contact me once in a while but it was never the same again. And thus began the worst period of my SA. I've found all of these friends on Facebook recently and out of all of them I've only managed to become good friends with one of them. We've hung out once and I'm thinking of inviting her to do something again soon :) She doesn't have SA but we can relate to each other so well that I'm going to do my best not to ruin our friendship this time.
 

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Fallen angel
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I had a decent amount of friends in high school (though it didn't feel that way then) and then a handful my freshman year in college. The ones in high school I lost touch with once we graduated. The ones in college I had a falling out with....I was in such a bad phase of my life that I was terrible to be around. So I lost the first friends I made while I was there and then was never able to make more. Those old friends would try to contact me once in a while but it was never the same again. And thus began the worst period of my SA. I've found all of these friends on Facebook recently and out of all of them I've only managed to become good friends with one of them. We've hung out once and I'm thinking of inviting her to do something again soon :) She doesn't have SA but we can relate to each other so well that I'm going to do my best not to ruin our friendship this time.
I can relate here, I had some good close friends in high school but... 4 ouf of 5 of them moved away, and one of them is still in town... and we talk at work since we both have the same shift, but don't really hang because he's the kind that hangs out downtown... knows a little about my history of SAD in high school, but is pretty much nice to me and doesn't mention the past. But alot of people that I went to high school with, only a few actually, are on my facebook and i talk to them periodically and don't really hang with many people. I have one close friend that I work with, and two other close friends out of town, one of those two live an hour away from me... we do stuff every second weekend... but if it wasn't for him I wouldnt of even met two other friends of mine. Well at least we're still alive... and kicking, i guess.
 

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I never had any friends to lose.

Other people manage to move all around the country (or world) and make new friends. I can't manage to make friends even though I'm in the same house I came home to after being born. 36 years in the very same spot.
 

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Fallen angel
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I never had any friends to lose.

Other people manage to move all around the country (or world) and make new friends. I can't manage to make friends even though I'm in the same house I came home to after being born. 36 years in the very same spot.
I only see myself moving to another city where I know a couple people, to start my life over again. First of all because there is nothing going on in my town, and second of all it would be like starting out in life over again, a second chance. If I could change my SAD ways before relocating which is what I plan to do, then it would work out great, of course I'd go back to visit my home town just to see my family. Most of my extended family live up north or in different provinces, so I wouldn't mind being closer to them. Conquer SAD>School>Relocate for work.
 

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I never had any friends to lose.

Other people manage to move all around the country (or world) and make new friends. I can't manage to make friends even though I'm in the same house I came home to after being born. 36 years in the very same spot.
Ditto. Even though I've lived in 20 or so cities in the US in the last 10 years never made any REAL friends, just acquaintences if anything...My negativity and bitterness keeps me from making any friends where I'm at now...So it's pretty much a mute issue for me
 

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I've lost all of my friends through having SA. My reluctance to talk and people think I'm 'moody', because of the way I behave when I'm nervous.
I used to drink to try and curb my nerves, because at the beginning of every evening out (before starting drinking) I'd just sit there almost catatonic. I'd drink so much that I got out of control, and this was nearly every time I went out at night.
I've lived in 5 different places and I did this in 4 of those places. Where I live now, I don't know anyone, don't go out, and if I did I wouldn't drink because I know where it leads........so I have no 'crutch' anymore that I can lean on to get me through a night out. There are a lot of people out there who think I'm weird and wouldn't have anything to do with me now...........and it's ALL because of SA. The worst thing I feel is that I can't defend myself and explain to those people why I was such hard work to be around.
Makes me really sad.

I'm always thinking "I'm going to move somewhere else and start over.....everything will be better", but I've never 'tackled' SA before moving, so I always end up doing the same things all over again!
I hope it works out for you, just go for it! :D
 

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I repeated my senior year and felt incontrovertibly incongruous but then again I also felt this way all the way throughout high school and the majority of childhood.

In parallel to your title most of the friends I've had are what I like to call my 'have-beens'. Heh
 

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About two years ago I stopped going out. Prior to that I had many acquaintances and a handful of good friends.

There was a time when I got along with people really well once they got to know me. At the same time, I was never fully there. I was always in my own world and I could only briefly escape it in the presence of others. I stopped seeing parts of myself in other people and felt more and more alone when I was around others. Slowly friends started distancing themselves from me because my personality became too inconsistent. Eventually I decided that it was best that I stop going out altogether. At the time, I thought it would only be temporary... but it was a change in the tide and I've never been the same.

Right now, my brother is my only friend in the fullest sense of the word. Outside of him, I have only one other close friend. I hang out with him and his girlfriend. We get along well, but they only see a censored version of myself.

I run into old friends and acquaintances every now and then and try to reconnect, but nothing ever clicks. Everyone has changed and so have I. Sometimes I feel like I dropped a nuke on my social life when I became a recluse, but at the same time I feel like things were bound to end this way no matter what I did.
 

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I've cut out all my friends. I literally have no one. I've become very distant with my family over the past few years. It's not a fun period of my life.

All my friends are successful (career wise, relationship wise) while I'm in a hole.
 

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It's hard to distinguish between social anxiety and a natural turn of events, as the cause. Around 90% of my old school buddies, i don't see. But, I think it's mainly due to social anxiety. I could have kept contact, but chose not to. I remain good friends with the special few though.
 

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I had quite a lot of friends at school and college, but as soon as I left I immediately broke off all contact with them. Then at university I made new friends, but again, when I graduated, I immediately stopped seeing any of them as well. I've never made any friends since then. I guess, looking back, I was entering the worst years of my sa (though I didn't realise it at the time). I couldn't handle friendships so broke off the ones I had and avoided new ones. Now I wish I had friends I no longer know how to make them :(
 

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Shift Happens
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Ditto. Even though I've lived in 20 or so cities in the US in the last 10 years never made any REAL friends, just acquaintences if anything...My negativity and bitterness keeps me from making any friends where I'm at now...So it's pretty much a mute issue for me
I have this same issue. I get bitter when i see others have a good time or have really good friends and i can't help but be jealous of what they have.
 

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i can make friends quite easily, i just cant maintain relationships...i always start to distance myself...too introverted i guess....?
 

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Not everyone keeps their high school friends. People tend to drift apart as their lives go different directions. That is a normal part of life; SA or not.

I long ago moved from where I grew up and really dont know anyone there anymore except family.
 

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not sure about losing friends, but when I look back I think I've missed out on a lot of opportunities. Especially in university, I had no problem with hitting it off with people in class but I turned down an awful lot of invites to parties and bars and people eventually stopped asking. In hindsight its a big regret.
 
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