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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm sorry,
It seems I do alot of whinging lately. I'm such a highly sensitive person. There is alot I cannot do lately and I want to so much. I have looked to put blame anywhere but with me. I'm getting *****y and spiteful.
The bishops of australia have marked this year as the year of the eucharist and have put out a series of reflection/discussion papers for use in groups. The parish will use this resource and invite us to join in groups for a 6 week program. I would love to be able to do this, but I hate group work and team work, I'd be fine working within the group, but you'd have to share with the larger crowd. I hate myself, I am so @#$%! at myself. I will never grow in anything at this rate.
I am clearly jealous of all these people, who will most likely learn some valuable insights.
The word "team" conjures up awful things to me. A sense of belonging, I know nothing about, capability, gifts, skills, wisdoms.
I'm pathetic.
I read an article in a mag, titled "Never give up". This woman believes you can have any degree of happiness and success. It doesnt matter what you faced in the past or will face in the future, life is full of choices and you can choose to live it however you want. You cant control what happens around you, but you can control what it means to you. I think this is a load of poppycock, gobbuldygook. I make choices they just dont come to pass.
whinge over, I'm sorry I'm such a sad sack.

jenky
 

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{{{{Jenky}}}} I understand how you feel. There are still alot of things that I want to do badly but can't because of my SA. I have had a few successes lately by going ahead and doing the thing I'm afraid to do (like a class or a group activity) and if it gets too overwhelming I give myself permission to leave or stop doing it and I tell myself that at least I tried. This keeps me from beating myself up about it. Most of the time it's not as bad as I thought and I end up sticking it out anyway. If this is something that you really want to do maybe you could just go once and see what it's like. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think it will be. Whatever you decide, don't beat yourself up over it. You are doing the best you can. :)
 

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:agree I totally with Karen ..

I also have the same reaction
to the words..team, or Goup..
and am extremly sensitive to others around me..

and I believe you have allot more gifts and skills
then your giving yourself credit for..its just really hard
for us to see them in ourselves...

just you writing here has helped me..
I just signed up to be in a small group from my church..man, that scares
the heck out of me, meeting new people..ect..
but I am learning slowly... very slowly mind you :)
that as long as I try it.. it might be a blessing....

in my thoughts Jenky...

debs
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thankyou Karen and Debs,
For your thoughts and insights. Well, I did join a group.Not the group of choice I admit. I have lots in common with these people and definitely know I wont be judged, we're all in the same boat so to speak, group therapy for anxiety. Its still making me panicky, but not full blown attacks, due to the knowledge, they can personally relate to this feeling. Its unbelievable coming face to face with people with anxiety, though they could not replace the value I hold here with you guys.

jenky
 

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That's great Jenky! :banana

One thing that might help you with the group is before you go, ask yourself how can God use me in this group tonight? If you go there with the idea that maybe an experience you've had or something you say might help someone, it might make speaking up in group a little easier. I just finished a group on Healing the Wounds of the Past. I really learned alot from what the others shared there and maybe something I said helped someone too.
 
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