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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I wasn't sure where this goes, so hopefully this is the right place!

Anyways, this week has added a lot of stress to me. Here's a list of things that have (or will) happen.

-I went to my school graduation (not my main school, the alternative school I was going to). I had 3 panic attacks before I walked out. Once I sat down, I kinda just turned into a zombie and became very depersonalized and didn't really know what was going on (if you've ever experienced this you know what it's like..). My sister even asked if I was stoned or something because I was literally completely zoned out of everything. This had happened many times before, but I was wondering if you guys had any techniques or anything to stop the depersonalized feeling from happening.

-I will be going to my main schools graduation in a few days. There will be hundreds of people and worst yet I have to face all of my classmates again. I had to transfer out of my main school because my anxiety was getting so bad. But now that I have to see everyone again, it's going to be terrifying. I will also have to face the guy that bullied and abused me for 3 years. I want to avoid all this, but I can't because my entire family is going to be there.

-I found out that some guys my age who used to live on my street are now moving back this summer. They're pretty homophobic and I know they all use all sorts of drugs (speed, shrooms, pot etc). They've been to Juvi and gotten DUI's. The exact type of people i really can't be around at all. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do because I know for a fact they're gonna want to hang out with me all the time. I'm gay and I'm terrified to tell them that. I just don't know what to do.

-Today after work some guys invited to go hang with them in the parking lot. I did (because I'm easily manipulated when I'm around people and I was stressed out because of work). They all started smoking, and the subject of drugs and graduation came up. One thing led to another and I eventually PROMISED them that I would smoke/get drunk with them this week as a graduation celebration. I didn't want that to happen, but my mind went blank and it happened.


I was wondering if anyone could throw some suggestions of what I should do. I get so anxious and easily controlled whenever I'm around people, its hard for me to just say what's on my mind (and half the time I usually go mind blanked and forget what I should be saying).
 

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i have agreed at times to do things with people and then the anxiety is too much and i just do not show up. or i tell them i am sick. but i dont know what you should do this is just what i do in these situations.
 
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