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Are you tense?

I've been so tense lately! I can feel it in my shoulders. I guess it's because of work.

The work is not stressful but it's the environment. I'm the only female and I feel lonely. I'm invisible. A few of guys don't like me. Also my boss have been demeaning towards me.

I had a talk with him and it's better now so that helps.

I'm so awkward. I come across as rude and stern.

I know I'm a funny person. I do want to talk and laugh but I don't want people to judge me when they look at me. I don't want them to see me.

It's so tiring!!
 

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experimental sincerity
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Yes I am, I was lying in bed last night and I could feel my facial muscles tense up as I was thinking about things, couldn't sleep for a long time. As for back/shoulders, yoga has really helped me learn to notice that tension and relax. So I'm in a constant cycle: I know how to release the tension but I tense up again all the same.

Workplaces can be a major source of stress, in some of them it's like being shut up with a bunch of adults who never matured beyond their high school years. Cliques, bullying, pettiness, finger pointing, etc. If the management foster that kind of work environment, it really can be hell.
 

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Karmically Cryptic
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I get tense sometimes. What works for me is a form of progressive muscle relaxation or doing a quick body scan by closing my eyes and slowly moving my attention starting at the top of the head and moving all the way down to the feet. Noticing any tension or discomfort and gently releasing the tension as I move down through the body. It's helped me become more aware of when I'm tense through the day so I can relax quicker when I find myself tensing up.
 

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Hi thier I have this on constant basis and the only thing that helped not cured, was propranolol the extreme adrenaline running through your body can put you on a constant flight mode which unfortunately seems to lose its ability to shut off after the threat has subsided, propranolols not great but if tension is something quite persistent then I would think about it as a option.
 

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Hmm I get some tension headaches regularly but it is a whole lot less since I started taking walks.
So what about a joke, prove how funny you are! :p
You can’t make statements like that without backing them up ;-)
 

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bipolar
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I'm not always tense but I get like that a lot. It just happens out of the blue - or so it seems anyway. I had the terribly tense shoulders a few days ago - it was very painful as I was walking along.

I've been trying to use a meditation thing I found on Youtube to help with it - it usually works. I did give in the other night and have a Valium though, which my doctor is good enough to give me for emergencies.
 

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Failure's Art
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Yes, always. My muscles are always tight. I don't know how to relax. Only thing that seems to help is alcohol.
 

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Hello, I relate to that, specially because I am in a similar moment in work. People joke around a lot and i just can't... I am so stressed with work right now with all the meetings and situations where I have to introduce myself and I get so nervous, it seems that I think more about people's reactions than in what I have to say. It feels like I get out of my body to watch myself and enter a blank state
 

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Karmically Cryptic
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Hello, I relate to that, specially because I am in a similar moment in work. People joke around a lot and i just can't... I am so stressed with work right now with all the meetings and situations where I have to introduce myself and I get so nervous, it seems that I think more about people's reactions than in what I have to say. It feels like I get out of my body to watch myself and enter a blank state
I've been there. I noticed I did it because I was afraid of not being liked. I had to train myself over time with practice to let go of it by letting that tension in my mind of trying to "read" the other person. It leaves no space in the mind for anything else. Instead, I put my attention on listening, not trying to think of what to say, just listening. Over time I found I started to relax and when you're relaxed in those situations you'd be surprised how much easier it is to respond without really trying.

Sometimes you might think for a moment before responding but it's a relaxed sort of thinking like when someone asks a person a question and they just go "umm" then respond a second or two later. Pretty much everyone does it, not everyone says umm though. Training myself to not do it personally.
 
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I've been there. I noticed I did it because I was afraid of not being liked. I had to train myself over time with practice to let go of it by letting that tension in my mind of trying to "read" the other person. It leaves no space in the mind for anything else. Instead, I put my attention on listening, not trying to think of what to say, just listening. Over time I found I started to relax and when you're relaxed in those situations you'd be surprised how much easier it is to respond without really trying.

Sometimes you might think for a moment before responding but it's a relaxed sort of thinking like when someone asks a person a question and they just go "umm" then respond a second or two later. Pretty much everyone does it, not everyone says umm though. Training myself to not do it personally.
That would be a dream come true! Thanks for your comment. Right now it is so difficult to talk about hobbies and expectations and all that stuff, my main values . But I know you are right, I just have to start gaining some confidence that this will work. Funny because I get so afraid to try to just listen until it is my turn and when my time to speak gets close, all the anxiety sensations and worries appear fast..
 

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Karmically Cryptic
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That would be a dream come true! Thanks for your comment. Right now it is so difficult to talk about hobbies and expectations and all that stuff, my main values . But I know you are right, I just have to start gaining some confidence that this will work. Funny because I get so afraid to try to just listen until it is my turn and when my time to speak gets close, all the anxiety sensations and worries appear fast..
That's where I've found practicing meditation and mindfulness helpful. It helps you to learn how to be present even when experiencing fear and anxiety which allows you to relax around the anxieties and worries when they arise so that they don't consume you and are better able to "perform" in stressful situations, with practice.
 
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