[flickaflicka]

Okay. So, there's nothing that makes me feel better (besides listening to Gnarls Barkley) than musing over past personal failures that are now humorous to me. I find it really therapeutic.

So, here's the game kids. We all share at least one (I have three that I can think of right now) humorous, awkward, embarrassing, dating or NDE (near dating experiences).

I'll start since I began this thread.

Okay, so this one involves online dating, right? I think this happened when I was like 20 or so. I just heard of the phenomenon of "internet dating." I said to myself, wait...dating, and I don't have to meet them face to face??? Oh my god yes I'll take 12 of this internet dating plz.

Anyway, I was excited. I said to myself finally, away to get around this stupid SA and actually meet someone.

Well, my friend Alyssa and I huddled around my PC and composed a profile for me. Awesome. I was on my way.

Then, me being the clever a-hole that I am, I decided to compose a second profile for a latino lover named "jesus." I put it in the men for men section. It was filthy. I played off the "Jesus" riff (apologies to any Christians out there) and had the most awful suggestive stuff in there. Stuff like "Hey, lover let's go play at Sodomy and Give-me-more. In the midnight hour, you will totally feel my power...get ready to get down on your knees and WORSHIP."

Oh, there are special hells for people like me.

Anyway, Jesus had the last laugh, because the next day I had like three guys, very normal seeming guys, who were telling me I seemed "interesting" and they wanted to "get to know me." Well, they wanted to get to know me in a biblical sense, apparently, because I logged into my profile and couldn't find their messages.

Then I logged into Jesus' profile and sure enough, he was the popular one. Gosh Darn It.

Also have other humorous stories, but I want to hear about your horror stories first. But seriously, only do this if you find this funny and not depressing, okay? This is not the feel bad space. This is the laugh at how ridiculous life is space.

GO GO GO!

 

[Syrena]

I haven't really had any bad dates, thankfully. This could be related to the fact that I barely date and generally it's after knowing someone forever online. I guess the worst was when I met this guy and we spent the day together and it seemed like a good time, but he refused to take my calls or anything afterward.

 

[Witan]

My worst date definitely has to be......the one I haven't had yet o_o

 

[zomgz]

ok here's my worst real-life date haha. (no offense to my date)

ok so i get a date and we are going to go to the movies right
so i get there but i can't find her anywhere, so i go inside to the actual movie and find a random seat. turns out she is already there but i didn't see her in the dark. so i keep looking around until i finally spot her and tap on her shoulder, so she motions for me to come sit next to her. well that's great xD but... i trip over nearly everyone in the isle to get there haha. then she kept touching my hand kinda weird-like, i wasn't sure if she wanted to hold my hand or if it was just an accident lol! anyway, when the movie was over i was too nervous to do anything else so i just kinda lefttt i was like "ok, bye" wow, what an idiot i was lmao. also, i got picked up by my mom... and they all saw xD

yup! =D =D

 

[flickaflicka]

The hand thing, she was totally flirting with you. Poor thing, she should have waited for you outside. Better luck next time sir!

 

[SAgirl]

My worst date occured three years ago. The whole time he was putting down his ex. Complaining that he spent any money on her at all. He smelled good like Axe deodorant, but was wearing way too much.

At the end of the movie, I went to the washroom and he already walked out of the theatre and left. As I walked to my van, I saw his red vehicle driving away. At the time, he was 30. For being 30, I thought this was quite an immature move, but that's just me. Oh well, better luck next time. This was the last date, I went on.

 

[Jayseph]

I think I was about 17, I was on some forum for gay guys (a clean one), and started talking to a guy there only to rather oddly find out he lives 20 mins away even though the forum was used worldwide. So we start talking on msn and plan to meet, just for sex to begin with...both virgins that wanted to lose it a.s.a.p because of the stigma and embarrassment. So eventually we meet up, we go inside...get acquainted first...put on some random dvds...and in the end...that's all we did! I was so shy from the SA I was literally sat staring at the screen the whole time he was there. He made several attempts and gestures towards...things, but I just ignored them...so then the time came that he had to go, he got on the bus....and we never spoke again - yay! :no

 

[flickaflicka]

My worst date occured three years ago. The whole time he was putting down his ex. Complaining that he spent any money on her at all. He smelled good like Axe deodorant, but was wearing way too much.

At the end of the movie, I went to the washroom and he already walked out of the theatre and left. As I walked to my van, I saw his red vehicle driving away. At the time, he was 30. For being 30, I thought this was quite an immature move, but that's just me. Oh well, better luck next time. This was the last date, I went on.

Wow, he was a total loser, babe. Good riddance to bad trash. You can do so much better!

 

[flickaflicka]

My worst date definitely has to be......the one I haven't had yet o_o

There's always internet dating! Plus you're one step up on me because you can learn from my horrible example. Seriously though, something to think about.

 

[shyvr6]

All of my limited dates were the worst because nothing ever came of them.

 

[estse]

I've been on one date, 12 years ago. Best date and worst date ever. I had 'fun.' She cried all the next day. We didn't have sexual intercourse.

 

[ShyViolet]

Hanging out with perverts in their apartments. I should know better than to even meet up with someone who suggests that as our initial meeting place. Fortunately I wasn't raped.

One guy put on a movie and smoked a bowl.

 

[mardy423]

About 2 years ago, me and my then gf went to McDonalds. We had plenty of money in the form of dollar bills, but we wanted to get rid of our pocket change, so we sat at a both and got out all our pocket change and started counting. Some people though we was poor and started handing us money or offereing to buy us some food. It was kinda ackward, lol, but we just told them we had money, we just wanted to spend our pocket change first.

 

[Yverinrey]

It was filthy. I played off the "Jesus" riff (apologies to any Christians out there) and had the most awful suggestive stuff in there. Stuff like "Hey, lover let's go play at Sodomy and Give-me-more. In the midnight hour, you will totally feel my power...get ready to get down on your knees and WORSHIP."

ROFL. That's some good **** right there. And for the record, I'm a Christian I just love the pervy stuff~

My worst "dating" experience?

In 6th grade, a friend of a friend attempted to set me up on a blind date for the school dance.

I had a horrible fashion sense back then. Also, my hair is naturally thick and wavy and I had it cut really short. BIG MISTAKE. It looked like a damn afro (and not even a cool one at that). Oh, and a pimple smack dab in the middle of my forehead too. WTF.

My "friend" Ciara introduced us.

"Josh, this is Yvette. Yvette, this is Josh."

Josh: *blank stare* Hey.

Me: Hi. *naive smile*

Josh: *turns around and walks away*

I am dead serious. The real tragedy here is his crappy social skills D: Sheesh, and he was considered popular. Whatever.

Then again, maybe he had a shyness/SA problem too! Who knows? Haven't seen the kid since then. I don't blame him though, I wasn't attractive back then (lol).

 

[flickaflicka]

Oh no, Yvette! Wow, he really was socially incompetent, wasn't he? Or just dazzled by how adorkable you were. If it's any comfort I was not about to win even Miss Congeniality at that age.

I think 6th grade was the grade that my friend Maria and I seriously discovered make up. I was a firm believer in the "more is more" principle, and applied everything with a trowel. The foundation I used didn't even match my skin tone, so if you can imagine an orange-ish tan mask on a lily-white-so-nerdy-I-never-go-outside complexion, you've got a good start to imagining how terrifying I was.

I believe in Ninjas! I am clapping for them right now (clap, clap, clap! (a la Peter Pan).

 

[flickaflicka]

About 2 years ago, me and my then gf went to McDonalds. We had plenty of money in the form of dollar bills, but we wanted to get rid of our pocket change, so we sat at a both and got out all our pocket change and started counting. Some people though we was poor and started handing us money or offereing to buy us some food. It was kinda ackward, lol, but we just told them we had money, we just wanted to spend our pocket change first.

Oh, that is choice. I'm going to have to try that the next time I need change for the soda machine. Unfortunately I'm usually wearing office clothes, which will affect the plausibility of it, I think.

 

[flickaflicka]

Haha, I'd been racking my brains wondering what the whole thing was about. Like, why on earth did we go to that place together? Uhhhh....was it because he didn't know how to get there by himself or something? Looking back, I don't know how it was possible for it to not even cross my mind that it might be a date. 16, clumsy, and shy. I didn't have a ****ing clue.

He leeerved you, and you didn't even notice! Boy, I've done that before. Great story, thanks for sharing! You should look up this beautiful song by The Smiths called "Half a Person." Reminded me of that last thing you said about 16 clumsy and shy.

 

[tree1609]

my first and only date was with this guy my friend "just had to set me up with" after all plans were made she called her boyfriend, it was going to be a double date. He just laughs at us, then informs us the reason he is laughing is because the guy i was just set up with is bisexual, and much more into guys then girls. Now i can be open minded, but when they picked me up a few days later for my "date" .... he was wearing girls clothes, not just girls jeans like some guys do, but i mean full out tank top belt jewelry and makeup, not like rockstar guy makeup, but more like drag queenish makeup. now i really tried not to judge a book by its cover adn i tried to be nice and start a conversation, but it was soo awkward all ready

once we got to the place we were going my date saw this guy he knew and started hanging all over him, he ignored me the rest of the night. then i ran into a guy i knew, and when he asked me how my date was going i just started crying, so offered me a ride home.

when people ask if i've ever been on a date i just say no.

 

[Toad Licker]

Luckily I've never had any bad dates though it's been a while since I've been on a date now.

 

[shadowmask]

At the end of the movie, I went to the washroom and he already walked out of the theatre and left. As I walked to my van, I saw his red vehicle driving away. At the time, he was 30. For being 30, I thought this was quite an immature move, but that's just me. Oh well, better luck next time. This was the last date, I went on.

That's terrible. What an *** that guy was. I'm sorry. :hug