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PessimisticallyOptimistic
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25 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What's good?

Kinda new. Glad I found this website. This place is filled with beautifully unique people. My name is fonso and even though I am not clinically diagnosed, I have, for many years, been sharing the same experiences as many others here. For many years I believed I was just shy but as I got older I began to realized that it might be something more. I constantly battle the anxiety of feeling different than everyone else. Why do I care so much? I have very few friends and social interactions outside of work are few to none. Everytime I try to engage myself in conversations with others I become overwhelmed with a sense of stupidity and shyness. Why do I care what they think? Luckily, I have a very loving family to support me and I am fortunate to have found this site.

I opened this thread to hear how you people cope with this difficult topic.

The older I get, the more I feel as if I'll end up alone. Not that there is anything wrong with choosing to be alone, but in my opinion, if you want to be with someone, I believe you deserve a fair chance.

I have the most difficult time speaking to the opposite sex.... When I go to the bars with friends I tend to get hammered as an excuse to avoid approaching someone. In the mornings, I dwell on how ridiculous I probably looked the night before. I don't know what to say... It's like, anything I say is stupid. I try hard not seem like a creep and in the process I end up looking like one. It's like I have this fear that the girl I approach won't understand me and I will look like a complete idiot.

Anyone else wants to share their story or maybe provide a helpful hint?

-fonso

This is much easier on the computer...
 

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Staying positive
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754 Posts
Hey man, welcome.

I found that the best thing to talk to a girl about is usually their favorite subject. Themselves! Most girls love talking about themselves. When they say something you can relate to just add a little "me too" for a connection. Opening conversations aren't that hard. You can ask for their opinion on something, or give a little cold reading like "You love puppies don't you". Lol just a stupid cheesy example I would never say. It can really be anything, just make sure it matches your personality and you'll have a conversation going in no time.
 

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Registered
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245 Posts
Hey man, welcome.

"You love puppies don't you".
Hee hee! :b If a guy randomly popped me that question, I'd burst out laughing!

But anyways...I have major problems talking to members of the opposite sex, too (can't even hold a proper conversation with a girl, at that). Besides being too awkward, scared and anxious to talk to them, with guys I have absolutely no idea what to talk about. What are they inerested in? I'm always scared that whatever I have to say would come across as being "girlie-talk" that guys can't relate to (and I don't even know what girlie-talk is).

Also, it's supposed to be one human talking to another but I can't help feeling that, to guys, all girls are the Potential Girlfriends, or the Nots (I know this isn't true but it just comes up when I'm talking to a guy) - and I'm far from girlfriend material, I'd say :roll It's like I feel pressurised not only to impress them as a person (like with girls) but to impress them as a woman, and I'm hopeless at both.
 

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PessimisticallyOptimistic
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25 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
who doesn't love puppies?

redefine, thanks for the input. most of my relationships develop from friendships which is actually nice but a little spontaneity at least once in my life would be great.

yellow monkey, i think the same way about ladies all the time. even in the most casual encounters i feel like i'm being interviewed. i wouldn't be too concerned about it sounding girlie if you're a girl. as long as you avoid conversations involving gossip, purses, and "monthly visitors" :um i think you'll be just fine.
 
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