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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
There are a couple people I feel comfortable enough around to be myself. I've known them for years, so they're close to me. Usually when I'm with them it's just me and them. I don't expect them to only talk with me all the time, so sometimes they invite their other friends. This is a problem for me.

I shut down, my mind goes blank and I get really self conscious. My friend says they won't judge me and that they like me. I don't think they're lying, but I still have a hard time talking with them. I get really quiet and don't say anything. Even simple things like, "Thank you." Then I think I'm being rude, but the opportunity is gone and I worry that they think I don't like them. I try to talk to them, but I get really nervous. It doesn't help that they're good friends with my friend, so they know each other well enough to joke around. I'm always afraid I'm going to say things that aren't funny or they think are annoying. The more of them there are, the worse it gets.

I've told the people I'm close to that I don't know what to say. They tell me to talk to their friends like I talk with them, but it's not that easy.

Anyone else have this problem? I get this way with family friends too.
 

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Yeah I have that same exact problem. Only thing I can say though is just saying hi to them and go from there, ask a lot of questions about them and that should spark up a conversation, because everyone likes to talk about themselves right?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah I have that same exact problem. Only thing I can say though is just saying hi to them and go from there, ask a lot of questions about them and that should spark up a conversation, because everyone likes to talk about themselves right?
I feel kinda stupid asking them questions because they're not complete strangers. I've heard all about them from my friend, which I guess makes it tougher. They might feel the same way too because my friend probably tells them about me. The conversation centers around inside jokes or talking about other people they know. I feel like that one awkward person you see in movies who when they say anything the rest of the group silently turns and stares at them before they ignore them and continue their conversation.

I guess another reason is I hate when people ask me certain questions. Like, "Where do you work?" "Are you going to school?" "Do you have any plans this weekend?" because I never have any answers. I would hate to ask them and they give me an interesting answer and then ask me back.
 

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Lost and Confused...
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I feel kinda stupid asking them questions because they're not complete strangers. I've heard all about them from my friend, which I guess makes it tougher. They might feel the same way too because my friend probably tells them about me. The conversation centers around inside jokes or talking about other people they know. I feel like that one awkward person you see in movies who when they say anything the rest of the group silently turns and stares at them before they ignore them and continue their conversation.

I guess another reason is I hate when people ask me certain questions. Like, "Where do you work?" "Are you going to school?" "Do you have any plans this weekend?" because I never have any answers. I would hate to ask them and they give me an interesting answer and then ask me back.
Yeah I know exactly what you mean. That always happens to me, People are conversing and then when I get enough courage to say something about the topic they're talking about they just kind of go silent, look at me for a second then just continue what they were saying. It kind of hurts to be honest but I just continue sitting there being quiet.

When meeting and talking to your friend's friend, just ask questions about stuff, whether it about them (which I know it can be hard since you both kind of know each other through your friend) or about just something. I can't say much about this since I'm still struggling with it myself. :afr

About them asking you "Where do you work?" "Are you going to school?" "Do you have any plans this weekend?" Just give them an honest answer and it should be fine, at lease I would think so. If you don't have a job just say "I'm currently unemployed" or "I don't have a job at the moment" or something instead of just being quiet then just ask them it back. I know it's hard because I'm going through the same thing you are so I can't really give you too good of advice.
 

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I just registered because this happens to me A LOT.

I guess another reason is I hate when people ask me certain questions. Like, "Where do you work?" "Are you going to school?" "Do you have any plans this weekend?" because I never have any answers. I would hate to ask them and they give me an interesting answer and then ask me back.
These three questions actually made the anxiety worse for years. I was in a relationship and his friends made me so nervous. They actually told their other friends, right in front of me, that I was worthless because I had no answers to those questions. Though switch weekend to married.

I honestly have the only friend of a friend I made a month ago and it freaks me out that he keeps introducing me to his friends. So far, it's gone well I think. One of them added me on facebook. But I'm a little embarrassed to say, I think the only reason why they don't ask those questions is they're way younger than me.

So, I have to say, sometimes different friends of friends have different priorities and you might hit it off.
 
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