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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Not sure if any of you experience this but I always have a hard time saying "no" and I feel people take advantage of me. Not only the inability to say no but the courage to stand up for myself. When I got my fist job at a grocery store some years ago, I was in charge of cleaning the back room. One day I came to work and found blood all the floor, I was told one of the co-workers cut himself with a knife that was in a plastic bag that was left behind. I knew I had not left anything behind after my shift the previous night. Another co-worker approached me and said that he was the one who left the knife in the bag. He gave me a whole story about how he needed the job and if he told he left the knife in the bag he feared getting in trouble and asked me if I could take the blame. And whatta-ya-know, I did. I was given a warning and told to be more careful. The co-worker said thanks.

In another instance, my most recent job (about 3 years ago, another grocery store) I was promoted to Team Leader and one day at closing one of the co-workers asked to be excused early because she had a party to go to. I felt bad saying no and let her go home early even though she didn't finish her duties. The rest of the crew was so mad and I know I messed up. I ended up being moved to another store. I ended up quitting because my SA made it so difficult to mange others. They always took advantage of me.

Same goes for my family, my brother is always asking for help but he only contacts me when he needs help and I always say yes, even if I can't. For some strange reason I am always afraid to say no.
 

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It's a self worth thing. When you value you yourself more, you put yourself first and aren't afraid to say no. You are trying to get value from others so you put your needs and desires last in hopes that if you fulfill someone else's, they will love and approve of you.

Learning how to say 'no' is one of the best things you can do for yourself because it chips away the subconscious mind's need for approval from others. The more you say no to others, the more you will love and value yourself. It takes some consciousness because most people find themselves saying 'yes' to others without even thinking about it so the best you can do is value and love yourself so that you don't feel as much pressure in these situations and are able to be more conscious of them when they occur.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
This is very true. I really don't value myself at all and always think about others first. This will have to change! Thanks :)

It's a self worth thing. When you value you yourself more, you put yourself first and aren't afraid to say no. You are trying to get value from others so you put your needs and desires last in hopes that if you fulfill someone else's, they will love and approve of you.

Learning how to say 'no' is one of the best things you can do for yourself because it chips away the subconscious mind's need for approval from others. The more you say no to others, the more you will love and value yourself. It takes some consciousness because most people find themselves saying 'yes' to others without even thinking about it so the best you can do is value and love yourself so that you don't feel as much pressure in these situations and are able to be more conscious of them when they occur.
 

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This was one of the first problems I saw when i found out i had S.A, it happens because the social anxiety makes you feel pressure to please everyone around you, work on that.
 
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