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Discussion Starter #1
I approached a really cute woman at drug mart today and I wasn't barely nervous at all! Woot! Instead of thinking about the right words to say, it was 10xs easier just to say what i truly thought and why I was approaching her.

Me: Excuse me, I don't do this often but I just wanted to tell you I think your really pretty (I usually never give compliments upfront).
Her: Thank you! (big sweet smile)
Me: Yeah, this is kind of embarrassing for me but, are you single?
Her: No, I'm sorry, I'm actually engaged (sympathetic)
Me: Oh, well, it was worth a try. Haha, sorry about that... (joking)
Her: It's ok! Your really brave for doing that! (I couldn't believe she said that)
Me: Yeah (walking away), I REALLY hardly ever do that (and I don't). Have a good day.


I didn't get her number or anything but I'm so proud of myself right now! I'm super surprised how easygoing I felt during it all. I think I create too much pressure thinking about what to say, etc. I'm slowly starting to realize it's much better to freestyle a conversation and say whatever comes to mind. This way it keeps you from thinking your conversation will go bad before you approach. Being "in the moment" seems impossible but so much easier on my conscious. It's better to say anything than nothing at all! I want to start doing this more often - everywhere!
 

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Awesome! Even if she didn't work out I'm sure if you could do it agian your bound to get a date. I feel the same way where if I don't make a big deal of the conversation it is much easier.
 

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breaking free
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That was a really brave thing to do. Congrats :)
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Last night I went out to the bars with my friend Victor. I live in a college town so these are pretty popular places, but not so much now that it's only summer semester. Anyways, after hitting up a few places just standing around chatting with my friend we went down the Brew house where I talked to this pretty girl. I was leaning back against a bar table in the middle of the bar and she stood right next to me and kept bumping my side so I just started talking to her. The conversation wasn't great because we couldn't hear each other but at one point she reached out her hand and held mine, which was pretty cool. I even got a kiss and a dance out of the deal and later that night left with her number! I plan on going out again tonight with my friend again to the Brew house to check out this band that is suppose to be playing there...

Today, feeling a little exhausted from last night, I walked around campus looking for a girl I could talk to. I was feeling really mellow, tired and just not thinking I would maintain a decent conversation from a cold approach. So, after going inside the Student Union I saw a couple of girls sitting by themselves - one playing cards and the other studying. I probably should of started talking to them but I just walked by. I came back later hoping one of the girls was there but they weren't so I just started walking back to my car. Driving around campus before I left, I was hoping I could spot a cute girl around campus, and I did. I did one more lap to make sure she wasn't going anywhere because I planned on parking my car and walking over there and talking to her. I managed to park my car and as I started walking up I was still feeling a bit tired and only thought of saying to her: "Mind if I sit here?" (she was sitting on a park bench outside of a building). So I walked up to her and asked if I could sit next to her. She said yes and I started asking her a few questions and before long we didn't stop talking till 15 minutes later when her mom came to pick her up. As she was leaving I asked for her number but smiling she said she had a boyfriend and asked for my name again and she said she'll see me around campus. Happens that she was there for her ACT testing and she was only 18 (19 in August), but damn she was cute! Nice and friendly as well!

My goal is to keep approaching girls in different situations and circumstances to finally wrap my head around it being not such a big deal. I really don't understand why all the sudden I'm hardly nervous about these approaches, but it's probably because of all the social situations I'm now presented throughout my days. It's kind of mind boggling. I'm tired of hearing how men and women are so much different because we aren't. I'm far from being complete with where I want to go or get, but I realize that if I keep doing what I'm doing it's just a matter of time before I get what I've been going after. Honestly, I feel like I’m just trying to take advantage of the confidence I have right now.
 

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Sea of clouds.
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This is honestly amazing - and very encouraging. I think my biggest problem (no surprise) is automatically assuming that people will be belligerent and rude when I talk to them, so it's really awesome to hear that seems to not generally be the case.

Keep us updated!
 

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You'll get there - keep up the good work! :boogie :boogie :boogie
 

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Discussion Starter #9
And so I've walked around campus a few times since I last posted. I saw a couple of girls that caught my attention but hesitated and didn't approach. I even walked back by a couple minutes later and they weren't there - go figure. I've also visited the bar a couple days ago with my buddy Victor again, but no approaches and not even conversations with people.

I feel like I could do more than what I'm doing at school and at the bars. I want to start doing some things I usually wouldn't do like sit down and talk to some women while they are studying in the library because walking around campus during this part of the summer is hard to meet women sitting down. In other words, I need to go to places they are guaranteed to be, like the library or Student Union and ask if I can sit at a table with them or something. I didn't want to do it before because I felt like that'd be awkward and intruding, but I've tried stranger things so why not? Doing different things should open up my opportunities, which I still need to improve on. The bars are still awkward to me because it seems like everyone goes in their groups and unless you do something incredible like approaching a group and getting in good with everybody do you even have a chance of meeting a single women (perhaps). But then again, some women are there with their boyfriends. It just seems like a lot to invest in for nothing in return. Maybe I need to approach groups of people and just mingle instead of thinking about approaching just women or solo women? Hm, that may be a tough pill to swallow, but I'll probably give it a try. I'll try to set standards of things I need to do to improve my chances before I go out next time. If something cool happens I'll make sure to post it.
 

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Buried at Sea
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Wow! You sir are a brave man! If a girl was bumping into me at a bar I'd be all "Sorry! Excuse me!" and move over instead of taking the opportunity to talk to her.
 

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Way to go man !

I've been trying too.

Meanwhile today I was asking this ladyfriend of mine for a date next week, and I persisted until she finally considered it.

I just kept in my head; we talk too often for her NOT to like me --- therefore I made sure to go all out when asking. For every possible conflict of timing she gave, I suggested an alternative.
Besides.. she never actually said no.. so I'm hoping.
 

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You should be really proud of yourself. I've often thought of doing that but never had the courage so good for you.
If I could ask a girl out like that, I think I'd be more afraid of her saying yes, than no. If she said yes, I'd have to actually take her out on a date...:eek:! lol
You miss 100% of the shots you never take. So good for you, for taking a shot.
 

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Wow, dude. You're my hero. It's really encouraging to hear that you got there. I hope to be there within 3 months myself, but I've only just started attempting idle conversation with strangers.
 

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currently, i would not even look a female in the eye let alone sit next to her and talk. nice job!
 
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