Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi
I'm a 29 yr old female from the UK. I've suffered from SA for as long as I can remember, but it comes in waves.
A few years ago I had a great job, office based. I was pressured into leaving to advance my career - more money meant I could leave home and get my own place. But two weeks in to my new job the anxiety was too much and I quit. I had to take a cleaning job within a hotel to keep the money coming in. I met who would become my husband and luckily he has a great job so the fact I was cleaning/ only earning a small wage wasn't a major issue. However I kept looking for admin work as that is what my qualifications are in.
3 years it took until I got offered another job. I lasted 3 months before the anxiety again kicked in (none of my coworkers spoke to me, I was left to get on with an unfamiliar role and when I did ask for help was made to feel stupid). I spent the next 2 months again searching for the holy grail of admin jobs like the one I had at the beginning. 3 weeks ago, I again was offered a job within Payroll. Small office, not much external interaction. Great I thought. I completed my first week (last week) fine, I acted confident and finally started to feel like I may have been getting somewhere with my SA. Yet this morning, Monday, upon the realisation that I had to go back, I panicked and handed in my resignation by email.

I just don't know what to do. I feel so insecure and incapable. I'm a smart person, who deserves better than to be cleaning up after others (no offence to anyone who does that, god knows I did for 3 years!) But I have no idea how to rebuild my confidence and get back on track. My husband is understanding to a point, but I feel like he doesn't really get the thinking behind my attacks. And I don't blame him, he is feeling pressured as he will again be the sole breadwinner.

To many it looks like I am lazy or that I don't give it long enough. Friends and family don't understand as they only see the comfortable me, I am not anxious around them as they are familiar. So trying to explain to them just looks like I'm making excuses. Does anyone else have that? I'm also embarassed about my situation as again, it looks like I'm making excuses and being over dramatic.

Feeling so low and like I've let the whole world down :afr
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154,235 Posts
Welcome, Riakiow! :)
 

·
...
Joined
·
8 Posts
Hey Riakiow,

I don't think that you've let the whole world down! Actually I think you are really brave to not to constrain yourself to a job that makes you that much upset and anxious. Maybe you haven't found your dream job yet, something that actually keeps you going and makes you happy. Also who said life is all about having a perfect job?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
50 Posts
Hi Riakiow, I can relate a lot to what your saying. I've had jobs before and I can get out there, if I really push myself hard to get over the anxiety I feel about going on interviews. Most people will try to give me advice, like "you should get a part-time job" or "you know what you need to do, volunteer" I'm in my 50's so this problem has been with me a long time and seems to get worse the older I get the advice I could give you is the talk about it with a doctor if you can it may help to get to the source of your fear.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
649 Posts
Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you have had such a difficult time finding the right job. Hang in there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you everyone for your kind and supportive words. I have never posted to a forum before or spoken truthfully about my anxiety as nobody around me really gets it. It's nice to know that there is a place I can come to for reassurance and to talk to others openly.
Have a great day everyone!
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top