I decided to try to quit smoking and drinking this morning so I put on a nicotine patch before I went to work. When I got to work I saw a pack of cigarettes I had left on the counter a couple days ago. I didn't think much about it until just before I got off from work, then I put them in my pocket. On the way home I asked God to help me. I wanted a cigarette and beer so bad. I passed my turnoff on the way home and stopped at a gas station and bought some beer, took off the patch and lit a cigarette. When I got home I opened a beer and went to the bathroom. When I finished I walked through the trailer toward my computer room which is next to the front door. When I was next to the front door someone knocked. I opened it and it was a pastor of a local Baptist church. That happened just a few minutes ago. He asked me if I died right now did I think I would go to heaven and I said no, I don't think so. He wanted to talk to me more, but I told him I didn't have time. I can't write any more. I'm sorry.