[nubly]

A few months ago I met a girl who I thought was seeing me on the side. Sometimes I still think she does have someone else, sometimes I think she is being honest with me when she says she doesn’t.

She lives with her brother but doesn’t want to tell him she has a boyfriend. She says he will get upset about it and give her a hard time and might kick her out.

She said she cant see me on Mon or Tue because those are the days her brother has those days off. I see her on the weekends even in the AM when her brother is off work since he works in the PM. Hmm…

She has given me her address, has invited me over when her brother is not around but does not want me to show up unexpectedly (which his normal for lots of people).

She doesn’t want me to know where she works at (though she has told me the general area and the name of the doctor she works for) nor does she want to tell her coworkers she has a boyfriend. I’ve asked her why 4 times but she just skirts around the question and doesn’t really answer it.

She has a seven year old daughter who calls me uncle. Her daughter is with us most of the time and she does not want her daughter to know I’m her boyfriend because she wants to keep her daughter away from PDA type of stuff.

She has said that she’s told both her sister and mother about me and who I am but they both live in Hawaii. I’ve asked her why its OK for them to know but not her brother or coworkers but again she just skirts around the question.

I don’t know how to really find out if she is being honest with me without coming across as being an insecure *******.

 

[Smile_Karina]

Is she from a culture where relationships like that are frowned upon?

I know a few people from the middle east. Most girls (and guys) aren't allowed to be in relationships so some keep it a secret, especially from the men in their family.

 

[Kelly]

You're a smart guy, Nubly. If this situation is triggering your BS detectors, then there's probably something up.

I wonder if there's a way you could call and ask for her brother and not have her know that you were calling. If the guy says something like, "But she doesn't have a brother" or sounds confused, then you'll know he's probably not her brother.

Or you could be a sneaky ******* and find some way of getting it out of her daughter...

Have a nice day,
Kelly

 

[millenniumman75]

You're still seeing her? How long has this been going on?

 

[nubly]

Is she from a culture where relationships like that are frowned upon?

no. filipina born and raised in hawaii

Or you could be a sneaky ******* and find some way of getting it out of her daughter...

Have a nice day,
Kelly

yea ive been thinking of something good to ask her

You're still seeing her? How long has this been going on?

since oct of last year

 

[fluffybunnyfeet]

Maybe she is concerned her being in a relationship will affect her child support payments or something like that? I'm just grasping at straws, but it's possible.

 

[Prodigal Son]

I'd be suspicious and I'm a bit confused...that is a weird relationship with her brother.

 

[millenniumman75]

Eeeewwww - like the Angelina Jolie and her brother? :wtf

 

[Brightpaperwarewolf]

Whatever is going on, you should start asking questions, it sounds like they are too many secrets. She won't tell you where she works but calls you a boyfriend?

 

[screwjack]

I don't know if you feel somethings off it probably is. I don't know a lot about filipinos but if they are like hispanics they frown on divorce in general and there are tons of double standards especially when it comes to women. The brother can do whatever they want and the sister is always put on "lock down" no matter what her age unless she's married which in that case the husband is in charge.

 

[leomouse]

ru sure it's her brother or is it really her husband/boyfriend? it looks like you're the other man.

 

[WineKitty]

You're a smart guy, Nubly. If this situation is triggering your BS detectors, then there's probably something up.

Agreed. Too many secrets, Nubs. You deserve better. :kiss

 

[IDK]

The brother thing sounds possible but once you mentioned that she won't tell you where she works or tell her coworkers about you, it pretty much sounds like total BS. You are probably the lil somthin on the side.

 

[TorLin]

think is a big difference than knowing.