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giggling ******
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How does one approach dating as a beginner when you're past the usual? Any self-experiences you're willing to share? (Thnx in advance if doing such)

Someone told me I'm gonna die, die all alone.
 

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Pervy Ranger #8
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I was just myself. It worked out pretty well, considering that's all I can be. I know that sounds hokey, but it's true. If you're nervous there's really nothing you can do about it but jump in.

All the healthy and reasonably healthy people I've ever asked have said the same thing. Just go up to a person, greet them, start a conversation.
 

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I member
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I started dating at 22. I met the guy at work, we talked a lot, and eventually we started dating. Express interest if you are interested in someone. It can help, because they may be interested too but afraid to speak up.
 

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I can't stand dating. A lot of people don't like it, it's nerve racking. It's always best if you can just meet someone at work/school. Then start talking and then go on dates. But you just can't make this happen, you just have to hope that it does. I'd honestly rather be single than go on blind dates...it's no fun at all.
 

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I'm 26 and just started really dating. I mean I've been on dates before but few and far between. The biggest thing is just getting out there and doing it. If you have little experience the only way to get experience is by forcing yourself to do it. I don't really know what the hell I'm doing half the time but I just try and go with it. She knows I'm not very experienced as far a relationships go and doesn't seem to be bothered by it. I've been on a blind date twice and they are nerve racking but they're kind of fun too.
 

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Stan the Man
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Like scaredtolive says, you just gotta force yourself to do it. There's plenty of time for everyone here, but you gotta make something happen at some point. No one's going to come knocking on our doors wanting to date us. Unfortunately, "just doing it" is difficult for us.
 

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There is always hope
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I wish I had started dating in my 20's or 30's. I hope that those of you who are still in those age brackets will try to do it now, because it only becomes more difficult the longer you wait. I'm 49 now and never really attempted dating until I was 46. It was really hard and I was aware of being embarrassingly far behind everybody else in my age group, in terms of experience. I still managed to have a few successful dates, but ultimately my lack of experience scared people. My approach was to be honest about my past, because I assumed women would be able to see that I didn't know what I was doing anyway, so I might as well explain it upfront. Although I got somewhat discouraged and haven't been dating recently, I am practicing and trying to prepare better so I can eventually try again. I wish I could offer some helpful advice to all of you, but I don't think there's any quick fix solution. The best we can do is to be honest about who we are and try to keep improving and hope to find a woman who will accept us.
 

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People our age have been in at least one or two relationships. I feel like a child. Girls have liked me before and I blew it. When I'm interested I never do anything. I just make weird remarks to girls I like (drunk).

Do you go out much? I go out and drink and still can't do anything. I talk to lots of girls but never get very far. I'm not really helping. I guess the best thing to do is just drink lots of beer (in general), and if there is a girl that you like, ask her out all drunkenly. She'll either say yes or no. It's pretty simple.
 

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I think SA is responsible for any ****ty things I have done. Since I don't feel comfortable in public with new people, that only leaves hanging out at my/their house. And sometimes I decide (maybe not consciously) to break the ice by getting a little physical. So, um, keep that in mind and be careful?

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who does/did this?
 

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I had a relationship but I didn't really date until a little over 2 years ago. It was a weird situation.. don't ask... So far everyone I've dated and boyfriends I've had since the first one I met on dating sites like okcupid.com. I spent a year basically practicing. Emailing, iming, and talking to guys on the phone (that was interesting and failed horribly) but eventually I got up the courage to meet someone in person. Then found someone to hang out with which kind of turned into dating but he was a lot more serious about it than me and we just wanted too different of a relationship and future so I recently broke up with him. Now I'm unofficially dating another guy I was talking to online after messaging him on okcupid.

It's far from impossible. The difficulty is just finding people to meet and try dating which is why I ended up looking online. I have no coworkers, I'm going back to college after a 3year break which makes nearly all the guys in my classes younger than me, and the only other frequent contact I have with anyone are all married guys or again several years younger than me. There are a lot of people using online dating because of similar situations. There are also a lot of people using online dating just to easily find sex partners so you do have to dig through the useless messages and profiles to find the good ones.
 

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Spread Your Wings
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I don't think I am ready to date now :( I am in my early 20's but I would like to concentrate on getting my certificates first before looking for a date.

In fact, I put school on my no.1 priority right now than anything else and even dating..

And no, I have not dated before and yes, I sometimes do want to experience what it is like to be dating someone that I actually like...not just some random guys thrown at me.
 

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I think SA is responsible for any ****ty things I have done. Since I don't feel comfortable in public with new people, that only leaves hanging out at my/their house. And sometimes I decide (maybe not consciously) to break the ice by getting a little physical. So, um, keep that in mind and be careful?

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who does/did this?
You are definitely not the only one, but mine are not only brought on by SA. Alcohol always played a big part in it also. It was only really once, but i is definitely not something I'm proud of...
 

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Making No Apologies
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You are definitely not the only one, but mine are not only brought on by SA. Alcohol always played a big part in it also. It was only really once, but i is definitely not something I'm proud of...
I totally agree. I think that the combination of alcohol, trying to appear normal, and struggling with SA in a huge club makes you a bit overly flirty/confident. You try and overcompensate for your 'weirdness' by laughing a lil too hard, telling too many jokes, touching ppl cuz you think it will make them more comfortable around you. I have been in a lot of experiences where my just being nice has been misinterpreted as wanting to hook up with someone. You really have to watch yourself or you could end up in a bad situation.
 

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I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 28. It didn't end well. I haven't dated since, and now I am 30. Dating sucks. The whole process sucks, especially for someone with sa. I'm getting really desperate. I want to date, but I realize that I'm not really ready. I don't really even still know how to do about asking someone out.
 

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I totally agree. I think that the combination of alcohol, trying to appear normal, and struggling with SA in a huge club makes you a bit overly flirty/confident. You try and overcompensate for your 'weirdness' by laughing a lil too hard, telling too many jokes, touching ppl cuz you think it will make them more comfortable around you. I have been in a lot of experiences where my just being nice has been misinterpreted as wanting to hook up with someone. You really have to watch yourself or you could end up in a bad situation.
I am definitely that person you just described. At the time you feel so good about what you're doing, but you just end up looking life a fool!
 

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I had my first date last summer, I approached it this way:

"I am 23 yes but age has no factor when it comes to gaining experience with things. I may have bloomed late but bloomed nonetheless."

I found out that the girl (who would become my gf for three months) was not worried about no experience, she was just very taken to me asking her. The whole time we were together I never worried about why it took so long, I just tried to enjoy it as much as possible until I broke up with her.
 
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